Laissez les Crapheaps Roulez! It's the 24 Hours of LeMons, Cher!

The meanest Miata you've ever seen... in fuzzy pink
Out of the dirt and into the Dirty South, the venerable 24 Hours of LeMons race series is back in Cajun Country. This time though, it’s here with a twist: this one’s gonna go for the full twenty-four hours. And luckily for you, I’ll be there, covering the mayhem!
If you haven’t heard of it (really, though?), the 24 Hours of LeMons, to paraphrase their own Chief Perpetrator Jay Lamm, is a race series conceived for the sole purpose of enabling all idiots to race, not just rich ones. This has the ancillary benefit of ensuring that the racers in this series have a fantastic sense of humor. To elucidate: at last year’s Crapheaps, an ’80-something Celica dressed like a Shelby GT500—the GT$500, of course—takes first place, barely a lap ahead of a 1989 Honda Civic Wagovan colored in a wide array of pastels and with two proud pink flamingos standing guard on the roof. A Miata, covered head to toe with pink fuzz and Barbie™ dolls, bites a barrier. A group of local longtime drag racers who call themselves Cajun Jihad drives a ’94 Mitsubishi Mirage featuring flat desert sand paint, scrawled Arabic script, and a pair of loudspeakers that plays a loop of Panjabi MC’s “Mundian to Bach Ke”—on the racetrack.

Team Cajun Jihad
Rockin’ the building!

Some semblance of sanity is maintained with the help of Judges Murilee Martin and Jonny Lieberman, although considering the nature of their penalties, perhaps “sanity” isn’t the right word. Go “four off”, and the “Bob Ross penalty” may have you painting a depiction of your offense onto your car. Hit someone on purpose, you may be writing “This ain’t NASCAR” four hundred times in metallic paint pen on your hood and quarter panels. And, special for us Louisianians, the “Choked by Mardi Gras” penalty requires that every team member don as many Mardi Gras beads as he can fit around his neck and parade around the entirety of the paddock ho,ding hands and yelling “I am a bad driver! I am a bad driver!”
So come on down, if you’re in the area. And if you aren’t, hey, live it vicariously through me. I’ll be here all weekend!
“Err, honey? Are you sure we're gong the right way?”

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9 responses to “Laissez les Crapheaps Roulez! It's the 24 Hours of LeMons, Cher!”

  1. LTDScott Avatar

    That reminds me, will the Uberbird be making an appearance in 2 weeks?

    1. Timothy Odell Avatar
      Timothy Odell

      Yup. Working on it this weekend.
      New engine's in, just need to hook everything up.

      1. LTDScott Avatar

        Hooray! I look forward to passing… err.. seeing it 😉
        BTW, this entry seems to have disappeared from the Hooniverse home page.

      2. dculberson Avatar

        Shizz.. I've been thinking about hopping a plane to California and driving the Schitroen. I'm not sure I should spend the dosh. In fact, I'm sure I shouldn't, but I need a weekend away.

        1. ZomBee Racer Avatar

          The Schitroen is a fine horrible choice sir!
          And for any of you who want to drive (and I use that term quite loosely) an even WORSE car, the Killer ZomBee MGB is looking for another victim, er, I mean driver.
          It's a piece of crap, so don't get yur hopes up. All comers must have a warped sense of humor. 🙂

          1. Deartháir Avatar

            If it weren't so damn far away, you know I'd be all over that.
            Just to get away from the cold weather.

          2. Eggwich Avatar

            If you're looking for a driver for the next Sears Pointless race, I am in, though I'm guessing it isn't so hard to get your friends to participate when the race is local.

  2. Eggwich Avatar

    Dang Sketchler, you've got your own byline! Nice going. The 'Verse can use your verbose wizardry. Plus, you never post what you're watching on tv anymore, lolzers. Psyched to see you here.
    And to fulfill my daily quota of wankery, Judge Lieberman is no longer a judge. He took a job as a correctional officer or something.

    1. Eggwich Avatar

      When am I going to stop trying to +1 my own comments? Probably never. I just dig my vibe that much.