Kill It With Fire: No Compromise, or All Compromise?

It doesn't look... all that bad... I guess...
It doesn't look… all that bad… I guess…

Always wanted an old Mk II Jaguar, but too terrified of the Prince of Darkness to take a chance? Now there may be a solution.

Depending on how you look at it, this car is either a perfect cross between classic car styling and new car reliability and efficiency, or a horrible bastardization of a beautiful classic design, wrapped around a soulless automotive appliance.
On second thought, maybe it does look that bad after all.
On second thought, maybe it does look that bad after all.

We’ll let you decide which camp you fit into. If it’s the former, I might need to beat you to within an inch of your life. Sorry, nothing personal.
This, my friends, is the new Mitsuoka Viewt. Say it with me, now: “Viewt”. Near as I can figure, it rhymes with “shoot”. Which is what you should do, should you ever see one. Death by firing squad. Please use something large.
Mitsuoka has taken Nissan Micra, and wrapped it in a skin that is meant to “closely resemble” a Mk II Jaguar. If by “closely resemble”, they mean “horribly violate in an offensive carnal sense, the serene sleeping image of”, then we’d say they succeeded brilliantly.
Because nothing says "old world British luxury" like wood-grain stickers.
Because nothing says "old world British luxury" like wood-grain stickers.

Our letter has been dispatched to Mitsuoka, ensuring they fully understand our views on the matter, and encouraging them to cease this violation.
And by “letter”, we mean “hitman”.
Original article over at Autocar.

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41 responses to “Kill It With Fire: No Compromise, or All Compromise?”

  1. EscortsForever wants Avatar
    EscortsForever wants

    When I saw the first pic, I thought "Ya know, it's not that bad. I kind of like it". Then I saw the next pic that actually gives a "good" representation of the tumorous cabin. Now I'm thinking "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

  2. Alf Avatar

    So if I want to say soulless asswipe in Japanese is it pronounced “Mit-so-ka” or “Mit-soo-oh-ka”?

    1. lilwillie Avatar


  3. small_e Avatar

    They were so close. All it’s missing is some real wood and leather, a less bulbous greenhouse, a longer hood covering a longitudinal inline six, RWD, a longer wheelbase, and to have been built in England.
    I guess they weren’t very close.

  4. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    So does this mean fiberglass kit cars have hit Japan?

  5. superbadd75, enriched with vitamins and minerals. Avatar
    superbadd75, enriched with vitamins and minerals.

    I saw this over at the blog that everyone hates last week. I don’t know what I had been smoking at the time, but I recall thinking it wasn’t that bad. Now I see the horrible error in judgement I made, and think that whomever is responsible for this abomination should be clubbed with a lead-filled snowshoe.

  6. Formerlythegreatestdriver Avatar

    A Nissan Micra as a base? That’s just plain wrong…plus it’s ugly. BTW what’s with this Japanese obsession with old school British cars and stuff in general?

  7. Ash78 Avatar

    It’s Dearthair. He turned me on to the Viewt.
    The Viewt?
    I got better.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      Mr. Ash, good to see the new job isn’t keeping you too occupied!

      1. Ash78 Avatar

        It’s been quite the opposite so far (knock on wood).

      2. Formerlythegreatestdriver Avatar

        Yeah dude, stop jinxing him.

    2. Deartháir Avatar

      I am ashamed how long it took me to get that joke. Clearly I need more booze.
      I mean… coffee.
      No, I mean booze.

  8. joshuman Avatar

    My daughter left something similar in the toilet this weekend.

    1. "Sparky" P Avatar

      Ha-ha-ha! Ewww…

  9. engineerd Avatar

    When I first started at Ford in late 1999 we had some Focus test cars. I remember the first time I walked into the garage and saw one. I thought, “What a horrific looking car!” After a few weeks, they started growing on me. Now that they’ve gotten rid of the cartoonish headlamps they almost look boring to me.
    This car is the complete opposite. At first look it’s not that bad. I like Jags, and this car seemed to capture that Jag essence pretty well. Then I looked at it more, for like 38 seconds, and I started tasting bile in the back of my throat.
    Some cars grow on you, others make you want to vomit and wish for your 38 seconds back.

    1. Formerlythegreatestdriver Avatar

      +1. But I in fact did like the Focus from the very beginning. It was a breath of fresh air in the stagnated American car design of the late 90s/early 00s.
      I guess that’s why I owned 3 Focuses so far. In fact the only cars I’ve ever “owned” since I got my license.

  10. Z71 Avatar

    You know what kills me more than just the styling, is the amount of time it took them to redesign, chop, and re-skin a uni body car into something so hideous. It looks like a Morgan Aero’s mentally-challenged cousin- on heavy prescription painkillers.

    1. iheartstiggie Avatar

      Great minds… lol

  11. iheartstiggie Avatar

    It’s like the inbred, close eyed, not so bright cousin of the Mk II Jaguar. Fail.

    1. scroggzilla Avatar

      So, it’s like the British Royal Family then?

      1. iheartstiggie Avatar

        Yeah, about that, including pomp and circumstance.

    2. Formerlythegreatestdriver Avatar

      OT but I came across this book at a book exhibition today.

  12. SirNotAppearing Avatar

    Still, I think everyone can come together in agreement that this is an improvement over the S-Type.

    1. Deartháir Avatar

      I think I’m one of the few who genuinely likes the S-Type.
      Possibly because I’ve driven the S-Type R, and it is glorious.

      1. skitter Avatar

        It lacked a proper transmission, but I really did enjoy the look the S-Type.

    2. engineerd Avatar

      I like the S-Type. It’s not a bad looking car, at all. A little stuffy, and maybe too vanilla, but it’s British. Aren’t they all pretentious and bland? Besides, the clean lines and Mk II inspiration were a conservative, yet nice departure from the lines of the XJ.
      The Jag that offends me the most is the X-Type. Seriously, Ford, did you not learn anything from watching Cadillac try to explain the Cimarron?

      1. small_e Avatar

        The X-Type is offensive mechanically (I don’t care if the rear wheels are getting some of the power, if the engine is transverse, it’s a front-driver), but I think that it looks better than the S-type. Mechanically, I like the S-type, as I intend to buy a Lincoln LS in the not-too-distant future, but I never thought that the retro cues worked very well with the rest of the design. Also, they should have offered it with a manual transmission (and Lincoln should have offered a manual with the V8). That is the X-Type’s only saving grace, but even that isn’t enough to make it cool.

        1. Clashtastic-May The Forcier Be With You Avatar
          Clashtastic-May The Forcier Be With You

          They did offer the V6 Jaguar S-Type with a Manual transmission (Getrag Five Spd just like the LS) I wish they had offered the V8 models of both of those cars with Manual Transmissions. I like the S-Type, I think the S-Type R is fantastic, I think the last styling update really helped out the looks of that car, along with the interior update.
          I want an X-Type Sport w/ 3.0litre swap/KONI 4-ways/Manual Gearbox/ etc etc… basically my dream Contour SVT plus AWD in a faux Jaguar body.

  13. Deartháir Avatar

    Sigh… The sad part is, you’re probably right.

  14. Target29 Avatar

    Finally, Fisher/Price Auto supply has sold their dash board to a real car company… wel,a sort of car company..

  15. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    To echo a few here, yes, at first blush it isn’t too bad. But then you really look at it. Maybe not too bad yet, but go away and come back. The awful takes a few minutes (or hours) to set in. Then your mind starts working on what it took to strip the donor down, add the new bits, tuck the interior back in it, and present it to the world. So much energy that could have been devoted to doing something original or curing cancer or designing novelty portholes for Pep Boys.
    Kill it with napalm.
    I suggest we have a new topic “Kill it With Fire®” for the worst of the automotive world.

  16. Shadowguitar Avatar

    That was the first thing I thought when I saw the steering wheel. It looked exactly the same – I would call it fantastic if it was RWD, but alas, it is not.

  17. Thrashy Avatar

    Keep in mind that this is brought to you by the people who made the blood-curdlingly hideous Orochi. With this car they’ve gone from “abortion” to merely “ugly,” so I think they should be applauded for their improvement.

    1. iheartstiggie Avatar

      That thing needs gills and 20 ft tentacles. DISGUSTING.

    2. Alf Avatar

      This one makes me laugh. The one above angers me.

  18. Rockford_Brodie Avatar

    I dunno, with the exception of the generic rims, I kinda like it. It looks like the end result of a drunken interlude between a MkII and a Morris Minor.

  19. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    It would be beautiful if it had two feet more roof, a foot more hood, was RWD, had wire wheels, and borrowed the interior from a real car.
    As it stands, fuck that, I’ll take an old Nissan Pao.

    1. superbadd75, enriched with vitamins and minerals. Avatar
      superbadd75, enriched with vitamins and minerals.

      You know, that’s a pretty good point. Stretch its wheelbase a bit, increase the dash to axle length, and maybe add a more attractive taillamp design and you might just have something here.

  20. faster,Tobias! Avatar

    Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!! patter, patter, patter *slam*

  21. Maymar Avatar

    So it’s not the graceful beauty that is a proper Jag, it’s still more interesting than a Versa sedan. These things are all relative.

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