JuggaLambo: A short tribute to the Pontiac Grand Prix GTP

This is the 1997-2003 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP. It features a supercharged V6, a heads-up display, a gimmicky car information center, a CD player with seven-band equalizer, five-spoke alloy wheels, a trunklid spoiler, so much body cladding, weird lines, acceptable crash test ratings (Take that, Grand Am!), and probably water in the taillights. This is an attainable aspirational vehicle in the downtrodden and depressed parts of the Rust Belt. This is the JuggaLambo.
What then, dear readers, is the JuggaLexus?
[Photo: ProductionCars.com]

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  1. Tanshanomi Avatar

    JuggaLexus? 2003-04 Mitsu Diamante, I would guess.

    1. CSM Avatar

      The Diamonte in USA had a different nose. This looks like it was carved by the guy who works at Ssanyong in Korea…yuck!

      1. Tanshanomi Avatar

        U.S. Diamantes had that nose for their final year, 2004.

        1. CSM Avatar

          Ahh…thanks…perhaps I am confused with Gallant. Regrets…

          1. neight428 Avatar

            I think you actually lose car guy cred when you know a lot o specifics about Mitsubishi sedans not named Evo.

          2. CSM Avatar

            Evo? What’s that?

  2. acarr260 Avatar

    Before I traded in my Bonneville GXP, I had someone in a Grand Prix GTP try to race me at least once per week on my commute. Unless there were significant mods, the GXP will eat the GTP alive.

  3. Kiefmo Avatar

    Can the correct answer for the JuggaLexus be anything other than the Prix’s fat, lazy cousin, the LeSabre?
    I submit that it cannot.

    1. CherokeeOwner Avatar

      I was going to say ’92-’02 Caddy Eldorado, but this is a better answer.

      1. The Rusty Hub Avatar
        The Rusty Hub

        In general, my thought is “Whatever GM luxury car they’ve inherited from an older dead relative,” but the LeSabre is a solid example thereof.

    2. Stu_Rock Avatar

      Fat and lazy is perhaps too far. These were only 3600 lb for a full size car, and performance wasn’t bad with the optional F41 suspension and numerically-higher final drive ratio. Honestly, I’d take one over a real FWD Lexus any day.

      1. Kiefmo Avatar

        I think, friend, that if you search your heart, you may discover that you’re overthinking it a touch.

        1. Stu_Rock Avatar

          I am a professional scientist. They don’t pay me to underthink things.
          There’s nothing wrong with offering a defense for an often misunderstood car.

          1. Kiefmo Avatar

            What?? Someone is paying you to think about what luxury car a Juggalo would aspire to!?
            Hey Jeff! Where’s my check!?

    3. neight428 Avatar

      Condition notwithstanding, this is exactly what I came in here to post. Once actualized, they look like they just ran from the cops through a corn field, which they probably have.

    1. Andrew Avatar

      This is the car I was picturing in my head, but I couldn’t remember what it was. I fully agree.

    2. Kiefmo Avatar

      Mercedes up front, Lincoln out back, Buick in between.
      It’s perfect!

    3. The Rusty Hub Avatar
      The Rusty Hub

      I feel like this thing is shapeshifting while I look at it. What a bizarre…thing…this was.

    4. Thrashy Avatar

      Nah… I think this might be a Jugguar, though.

    5. Tanshanomi Avatar

      Yes, that’s better than my suggestion, too.

    6. Vairship Avatar

      Gah, all these new names!
      Citric = Devin,
      The Rusty Hub = Eric Rood
      I’ll need a to get back on an even keel.

      1. Scott Avatar

        That’s in the Milwaukee airport. 🙂 Always puts a smile on my face.

  4. FastPatrick Avatar

    Late Oldsmobile 98, especially with the skirted rear wheels for maximum Guido appeal. Perfect car for four stoner guys and a random number of skeezy chicks to live out their pretend-badass fantasies.

    1. FastPatrick Avatar

      Also, yay for comments being normal again. Double yay for losing that wretched depressing commenter-rating system.

  5. barney fife Avatar
    barney fife

    I had a Bonneville SSEi, same thing as the GTP, but in a slightly bigger wrapper. Absolutely the worst vehicle I have ever owned. Bought it new and it was a hangar queen almost from day one. When it ran, it ran like a scalded dog. When it broke, it had to be carried off the Interstate no fewer than 7 times in 4 years. Too bad … it was a really nice ride.

    1. PaulE Avatar

      If it were owned by a farmer, would it be the SSEiEiO edition?

  6. Maymar Avatar

    Now that they’re over a decade out of production, all of the LH cars are mostly the domain of a skeezier element. For that matter, so are most FWD Northstar Cadillacs. Less common, but there were a pair of Eminem-looking guys in my hometown, perpetually rolling in a late ’90’s Continental, and never seemed to fix the sagging rear suspension.

    1. The Rusty Hub Avatar
      The Rusty Hub

      As I’ve said elsewhere, the pinnacle/lowpoint of the JuggaLexus LH is obviously going to be an Eagle Vision with long-disappeared clearcoat over ’90s teal paint.

    2. Richard M. Nixon Avatar
      Richard M. Nixon

      I loved mine, and made sure to keep it as unskeezy as possible. It even had polyurethane subframe bushings!

      1. The Rusty Hub Avatar
        The Rusty Hub

        If you can keep up with the maintenance, they’re A+ highway cruisers (like the Grand Prix, actually) and have more-than-adequate of power from that V6.

    3. Tiller188 Avatar

      “never seemed to fix the sagging rear suspension”
      Are we still talking about the car, here?

  7. ptschett Avatar

    How about a ’95-up Lincoln Continental?
    Were there any original buyers for this car that weren’t A/X/Z-plan beneficiaries?

    1. wunno sev Avatar
      wunno sev

      my dad had one of these! a ’97, he bought it like three or four years used.
      i won’t deny that it’s got juggalo appeal these days, and we did have it a little too long for it to be acceptable in polite society, but that car was great! never a problem that wasn’t caused by smashing it into things (my family is terrible at driving), two tons of power, a great sound system, heated leather seats, air suspension…it was a pretty sick ride, man.

  8. corkey723 Avatar

    I am going to go with the 2008 Buick Lacrosse Super.
    5.3L V8
    Understated but fun.

    1. Alan Cesar Avatar
      Alan Cesar

      Too new and therefore too expensive for the typical Juggalo demographic (and employment/employability level).

      1. The Rusty Hub Avatar
        The Rusty Hub

        Indeed. I’ll wager there aren’t too many LaCrosse drivers with facial tattoos.

  9. Alan Cesar Avatar
    Alan Cesar

    Go back a decade, and the Chevy Beretta Z26 would be the proper Juggalambo.

  10. gessvt Avatar

    Pontiac Sunfire. The chariot of Midwestern Juggalettes. Droney exhaust with wire hanger keeping it off the road. CD holder on sun visor. Stay out of their way if you know what’s good for you.

  11. Loquendo Avatar

    Juggalexus? Their torn up nikes to take their asses from one jugga-hoe’s house to the next. I find this morbidly offensive but thought I’d contribute.