Jersey Teen's Lousy Report Card Could Be Your Ticket to a LeMons Ride

Everyone tells you that an education will ensure greater likelihood of future earnings, a lesson that is being learned the hard way by a Jersey girl whose F-Troop of a report card has lost her the use of a cherry red 1997 ford escort 2-door hatch. The girl’s dad is willing to let the car go for the low-low price of FREE, just to teach her a lesson. Hopefully she won’t fail that one too.
With its $500 net price limit, a FREE escort could make a worthy base for some sort of juvenile delinquent-themed LeMons racer, sporting an I Don’t Feel Tardy bumper sticker and copious quantities of chewing gum stuck underneath. If you’re interested, you better act fast, at that price, it won’t last long. Oh, and if it turns out to be a scam and you find yourself  waking up in an ice-filled bath in a Jersey motel room and missing a kidney, you didn’t hear about this from me.
You can find the live ad on Philadelphia Craigslist.

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9 responses to “Jersey Teen's Lousy Report Card Could Be Your Ticket to a LeMons Ride”

  1. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

    This vehicle will no longer be available in 3…….2……..1……..

  2. chrystlubitshi Avatar

    holy carp…. if i were nearer than indiana… i'd have a "new" car
    hope she learned her party lesson…………

  3. Ash78 Avatar

    He should make her start an Escort service as further punishment. Y'know, to fix the car up for the prospective owner.

  4. muthalovin Avatar

    Apparently she goes to the school of hard knocks. And lives at said school as well. Damn dad, why not just set the car on fire and make her watch?

    1. Saturnsufferer Avatar

      Legal restrictions on open burning.

      1. superbadd75 Avatar

        NO EXCUSE! BURN IT!!!

  5. humblejanitor Avatar

    Wait a minute. It can't be a 1997 Escort hatchback because Ford dropped the Escort hatchback for 1997. I should know as I own a beat-up 1997 Escort, 4 doors, black with a salvaged title. Dings, dents, el-cheapo black hubcap covers from K-Mart and missing paint (which I covered with a can of Krylon) and a bumper sticker that says "Gloominous Doom" (a band actually).

    1. Ash78 Avatar

      Didn't they just change the name to ZX2 or something (but it was still an Escort)?

    2. EscortsForever Avatar

      Dang it – was gonna say it myself
      96 was the last year of the 2nd gen (with hatchbacks – probably what thsi car really is)
      97 had sedans and wagons in the much more round body style
      98 introduced the escort ZX2 which was not a hatch 😉
      the zx2 got rid of the escort name in 2001, I believe, since it was the only version available to the public