To date, there have been several race entries from the writers of Hooniverse into the fabulous series that is the 24 Hours of Lemons. There was Tim and Jeff with Der UberBird, and then there was Blake and Jim with their ’63 Corveir. And now it’s my turn to race, at the October Halloween Hooptiefest 2013 at New Hampshire Motor Speedway. Gulp.
The team consists of my friend Andy and his boss, Justin, me, and some other dude from Florida who I have never met. Andy and Justin are doing all the hard work of building the car and bringing it to the track. Due to my time constrains and 90-mile distance from Andy’s garage our team headquarters, I am handling the logistics issues and other random BS. We are still looking at one or two more drivers (waiting on commitments from people).
Our racecar is a 2001 Buick Regal with a naturally aspirated 3800 Series II. We purchased the car off some mechanic, who got it off some old lady, for $350 after she hit a tree or a pole of some kind with it. The odometer broke at 150,000 miles, but we assume it has less than 200,000 on it, so it’s well broken in. It ran when parked, and it ran again better once we installed a junk-yard radiator in it.
The craziness of my personal life is preventing me from getting too involved with the race car build, but here is where we stand:
- Theme, we have one. Sort of. Since the old lady hit a tree, we will re-install a small tree in the front (if allowed), where the dent is. In the back we’ll have a park bench as a spoiler. Sitting on our bench will be an old guy who will be fishing in the pond that is the roof of the car. We will be dressed as park rangers. This needs more details, but you get the idea.
- Car: As you can see from the above picture, it’s gutted and the cage is almost done. We installed a transmission cooler too, as I think that’s where the powertrain’s weakness is.
- All race fees are paid.
- We bought a set of Mustang wheels as a spare set. Need tires. OEM wheels will be our rain wheels.
- We got some F-body brakes too.
- Suspension is staying stock. I think.
- We got a battery box in the trunk and fancy kill switch wired.
- Justin has an enclosed trailer and a big truck. Justin is the man!
- Junk yard transmission cooler installed.
Here is what we need:
- A plan… because the guy who is handling the logistics sucks, what is being written here, during my lunch hour, is the plan.
- Sponsors! I didn’t reach out to anyone yet, but the awesome BlipShift guys will be there with some t-shirts! They’re racing too, with SpeedyCop, so that will be fun.
- List of spare parts to bring to the track. Hoons, help me with this!!!
- Get the spare parts.
- Another driver. Or two, if part-time.
- Sponsor!! Anyone out there? ANYONE?!?!
- Probably a million of other things.
- Can we remove exhaust and emissions air pump without affecting the car’s performance? Hoons, help me with this!!!
- Race suits, shoes, etc.
- Radios.
- HANS?
- Team tattoos.
- Secret team hand shake.
- Hotel, gas, food, drinks, etc.
- Convince Jack Baruth to be our team manager.
- Beer.
- Hooniverse windshield banner and other stickers.
Really, I just slapped this post, and this list, at my lunch hour. There are a million things that I need to take care of, and add to the above list. Any help or advise would be appreciated, especially for those who have raced a similar car, and/or those who have raced Lemons.
We are all rookies and we want to have fun out there. We’re not even dreaming of winning but we don’t want to come dead last either. We want a reliable car, as much race time for all drivers as possible, no penalties, no break downs, no BS. We want to have fun, and we want to get our monies worth, and hopefully come home in one piece and with a car that can be raced again. Wish us luck!
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