All right folks, the time has come for you, our loyal readers to decide which of our numerous nominees is most deserving of the largely unrecognized as meaningful Hooniverse Car of the Year!
This year’s selections were picked from a nearly infinite pool defined only by what we could think of off the tops of our heads. In fact, things weren’t even limited by the tops of our heads, as we’ve got two reader submissions in the mix as well. After the jump you’ll find all of this year’s nominees and a poll. We’ll be keeping this post live and stuck to the front page through the 31st, so as to hopefully catch as many of you as possible. Remember to vote early and vote often!
The Octo-Door Pontiac Safari Wagon:
Here at Hooniverse, we loves us some wagons. Also: (rear wheel drive) Pontiacs and absurdity. Three for three, baby. Of course, 1960s Yank Tanks weren’t known for their structural integrity from the factory, let alone at double the length and door count. I’ll also point out it’s probably the second slowest car on the list, behind the 1907 Itala. That said, think of it as a blank slate. A blank slate the size of Manhattan…just easier to get in and out of.
The Octocar aka GLCOAT8
Continuing with our love of oversized absurdity, we come to this eight-wheeled, twin-rotaried, gull-wing equipped thing, currently referred to as the GLCOAT. (Greatest LeMons Car of All Time). Currently in the care of Officer Bloch, a real-life action hero otherwise known as SpeedyCop, it’s got a few … issues … that need to be worked out before it’s ready for a LeMons race. Of course, the fact that it’s in violation of at least three major rules (price, no kit cars and the weight limit), along with the fact that it was clearly built by someone (believed to be deceased) who took it at least mostly seriously, has raised more than a few hackles. After all, doesn’t it deserve better? Furthermore, there are a lot of non-running unfinished piles of parts and unfulfilled aspirations out there, what makes this one so special? Oh, wait … it’s probably the double-rotaries or the 8 wheels.
The Wullet:
Never has a HCOTY nominee received such great campaign writing. Alex has gone all-out for The Wullet, a 1978 Malibu wagon with a 350-ectomy and a 454 CID replacement heart. In all likelihood, the Wullet is suicidal – terminally rusty, terminally overpowered, terminally ugly. It just doesn’t give a f***. Seasoned with hair metal and on-demand burnouts, with plenty of room for later-regretted hormonal hookups in the back, the Wullet is nature’s way of saying “do not touch.” In other words, a Hoon’s siren song and an inspired HCOTY nominee.
MotoCzysz E1pc Electric Superbike:
Never a man to shy away from a challenge, Tanshanomi’s candidate for HCOTY is two wheels short of a full deck, but stacked to the gills (literally) with high-capacity li-ion batteries putting down menacing power and torque numbers. Plus you really can’t argue with the engineering, passion, and design prowess of MotoCzysz in bringing out an electric motorcycle – one that has your Gixxer in its sights. Tanshanomi invokes a future of tinkerers wielding multimeters to tune their E1pcs for maximum hoonage, and it’s a future that sounds pretty frickin’ cool. Just add a Mr. Fusion unit and you’re all set.
Chad Copeland’s Datsun 620 Drift Truck:
How cool is the 620 Drift Truck? Let me count the ways. There’s the 300 RWHP SR20DET nestled forward (and the radiator out back!). There’s the Flying-Tigers-inspired shark maw art our front accentuating the military flat olive paint. There’s the reworked transmission tunnel fabricated with a True Temper wheelbarrow. The list continues – like a menacing green Pokemon, you’ll have to read the article to catch ’em all.
GNX-powerd Lotus Esprit:
It’s hard to top the backalley-knife-fighter-with-a-crack-habit attitude of the Buick GNX, a car so full of disdain for the status quo, stoplights, and wallflowers that it became forever associated with our childhood embodiment of evil, Darth Vader. Springing the forced induction mill from its G-body lair, and slipping it into a midnight black Lotus Esprit was kind of like the automotive equivalent of dropping a speedball into your tall, cool class of Plymouth gin. Would Chapman approve? Honestly, who cares? Just look at it!
1907 Itala Red Dragon:
Other HCOTY nominees are engineering marvels, audacious experiments, or exceptional performers, sure. But none of them has the lairy-chested ballsy-ness of the Red Dragon. Simply put, it’s the Jack LaLanne of autos – it’s older than your grandfather and it can still do more pushups than you can. Owners David and Karen Ayre are no softies either. That’s because this 103 year old Italian monster has been through more than 18,000 miles (30,000 km) of punishing competition driving since 2007, competing in the Peking-to-Paris historic rally twice so far, with the owners at the wheel. Surely they’re mad, but they’re mad in the way we like. And anything more than a century old that can take the sort of abuse that causes dedicated modern racers to weep deserves your HCOTY consideration.
BMW 335d:
Sure, he may be the punk new upstart at Hooniverse Central, but Jacob’s not fronting with the BMW 335d he’s nominated. The reality is the young hotfoot toasted a 4th gen Mustang at a stoplight in a diesel family sedan, one with a slushbox nonetheless. A sedan that returns more than 40 MPG in mixed cycle driving, has enough torque to pull stumps, and is just as comfy as any modern BMW. If we were discussing some customized car of hypothetical marque X accomplishing these feats of performance and efficiency, we’d congratulate the customizer for a damn good show. Should the 335d be knocked simply because it rolled of a Brucified assembly line, not someone’s basement? That’s up to you, voters.
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Remember, when 2010 ends so does this poll! Make sure your vote counts … get it in before midnight December 31st!
Ed – It has been brought to our attention that we neglected to include skitter’s nomination – the first-gen Taurus SHO – in the poll. The reason, as you’ll surely understand, is that scotch doesn’t scale up well. We’re adding it to the poll now, and we’ll come up with a suitable handicap for it so it’ll have a fair-ish shot.
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