By Robert Emslie
When I was a kid one of the family cars that I remember most vividly was my mom’s 1960 Cadillac sedan. It was big, and white – my folks actually had it painted by the Earl of Scheib, I kid you not – and it had swoopy fins in the back. But what I remember most about my mom’s old Caddy was that in the very back, on the parcel shelf where today you might find the government mandated third brake light, she had a dog.
It wasn’t a real dog of course. First off it was way too small for that. At little over 8 inches long it was too tiny to even be one of those Chihuahua dogs with the bugged-out eyes. It was actually modeled to look like a German Shepard, and was made of either heavy plastic or perhaps some sort of ceramic. Covering its surface was a thin fuzzy layer which was black and brown, just like the real deal.
But the best part was the head. It had been hung from the top of the inside of the neck hole and was balanced in such a way that with even the slightest movement from the car, the head wold nod up and down, up and down. It was mesmerizing. It’s been a long time since we had either the car or the fake but agreeable dog, but I will always remember it with great fondness and perhaps someday will get a back window dog of my own. That’s a kitschy little auto accessory that helps express your personality through your car, and one that I dearly love. Which kitschy cool accessory do you really like?
Image source: nobestofs via Flickr
Jeff Glucker
<img width="600" src="http://forums.aaca.org/attachments/f117/85471d1303077727-15-inch-whitewall-tires-mint-img_3649.jpg">
On most 1961-on cars.
<img width="600" src="http://image.minitruckinweb.com/f/tech/engine/1003mt_hot_rod_parts_buyers_guide/31911435/1003mt_04_%2Bhot_rod_parts_buyers_guide%2Bwhitewall_tire.jpg">
1960 and earlier ONLY, folks! That means you, car show douchebag with '66 Impala! _/rant
White walls are not kitsch. They are necessary!
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I don't know, they can work on a mid 60's vehicle in my book.
<img src="http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b54/way2lo2/caminoc10c10/2013-08-06044434_zpsaa9e9fb4.jpg" width="500/">
If anyone want's to test the reserve…
I'm partial to RWL tires, till sidewalls got too short for them.
<img src="http://i50.tinypic.com/nrtid.jpg" width="500"/>
I bought a roof rack when I had my old Mercedes, but now I have a car which can easily carry my bike in the trunk. I still put the rack on, because 1) I don't want to put a dirty bike in my trunk, and 2) I like how it looks
<img src="http://img399.imageshack.us/img399/7987/galantvr4009in9.jpg" width="600">
Just be mindful about parking garages. A friend told me a story once about going to a long-distance ride, and watch one of the competitors destroy two bikes, and damage their SUV, when they forgot.
I am quite fond of my dashboard buddah. It's mounted with a square of velcro so I can move him between cars. Helps me to accept the check engine light, which is the same saffron color as his robe.
<img src="https://sphotos-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/544354_10200279804773566_1595483997_n.jpg" width=400>
Fender skirts. I think they were gone from American cars after the '78 Chrysler New Yorker, until the redesign of the Cadillac Fleetwood in '89.
<img src="http://www.autotrucktoys.com/300/images/GBC300FS_4.jpg" width="600">
Those are wrong on every level. I should have stated 'factory' skirts.
Well, they were probably built in a 'factory.'
<img src="http://people.umass.edu/blaylock/p190Q/images/FuzzyDice.jpg">
<img scr="http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc156/556308/KGrHqZk4E66-TY7NBPsmQ87Sg60_12.jpg">
Welcome to my world of posting pictures on this site…
<img src="http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc156/556308/KGrHqZk4E66-TY7NBPsmQ87Sg60_12.jpg" width="200/">
… courtesy embed?
Thanks!
I want that for my rear window or a rabid stick pitbull.
I see what happened. You spelled "src" wrong. Computers are the worst grammar nazis. Jerks.
"Computers are like Old Testament Gods: lots of rules and no mercy."
<img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2216/2330940318_aca68a7544_z.jpg">
Just the sort of thing you need on mornings when your 3rd Level (Riley) Elf needs to "roll 3d6 to save against traffic jams".
It never works though.
<img src="http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc156/556308/KGrHqZk4E66-TY7NBPsmQ87Sg60_12.jpg">
Bobbing head dogs aree indeed high on the kitsch scale, but trumped by fuzzy dice.
<img src="http://www.littlebeasts.com/assets/fuzzydice/beasts-fuzzy-dice2.jpg">
My Eldo is starting to rust around the leading edge of the hood. Rather than replacing the hood, I'm tempted to fill the bad areas with fiberglass, spraybomb it, then mount a set of longhorns to distract from my repairs.
[youtube bJ9r8LMU9bQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ9r8LMU9bQ youtube]
God, I love hood-mounted longhorns, but I'd get weird looks if I put them on my Mazda 6, or anywhere outside Texas.
That would be awesome on a Mazda!! Just make sure they don't stick out past the fender flares, you don't wasn't to get pulled over.
Somewhere in our boxes of stuff in the garage, my wife has the Mack Bulldog..That chromed bulldog is destined for the hood of her 88 Corolla..Full size..Chromed. Dang, i gotta find that.
Full size, i.e. the size of an actual bulldog? That WOULD be awesome on a Corolla 😉
<img src="http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/pictures/10000/nahled/296-1253387032G3hX.jpg"width="500"/>
<img src="http://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/16913_10151610536314495_1937402172_n.jpg" width="600">
Grille badges.
This reminded me to look up those new badges on Subarus.
"Subaru Badge of Ownership" http://www.subaru.com/enthusiasts/badge-of-owners…
Jeez…Merit badges. I've never seen one on a WRX. I see "Rally"..No "Hoon?"
I would buy a Love Cooking Animals badge. Or maybe Mechanical Environment Cooking.
I want the bicyclist chasing/about to run over the running guy.
<img src="http://cdn.rockabilia.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/300x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/AIRFRESH/19158F.JPG" width="600">
Louvers.
<img src="http://www.amcarguide.com/wp-content/gallery/mustang-c3/1979-ford-mustang-cobra-rear.jpg" width="500">
Fuzzy dice and beer can radiator catch cans.
<img src="http://i416.photobucket.com/albums/pp248/RiponredTJ/5BallInstalled.jpg">
Pool Ball Shift Knobs! SO AWESOME.
A guy on ebay will drill and tap one for $30.
I'd do it if I had a press, and a tap, and a ball.
There's a dude on JeepForum who sells 'em for $15+shipping. OTOH, it's easy enough to get the nut, drill and epoxy the nut in. I haven't done anything to the interior, yet, though, so it's still down the list a bit.
<img src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y205/rcmaster1029/WP_20130808_005_zps9bf1e6e5.jpg" width="600">
My rubber chicken. His neck isn't in the best shape, though. I had a smaller one, but his head fell off.
Man, they have pills for that.
Wow, that's enough dashboard to label your rubber chicken as "Free Range".
Oh my…you win BobWellington's Reply of the Year award. Congratulations.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/xOM75.gif">
Is that the dash of a VLCC, or is that just the amount if oil necessary for all that plastic?
Yowzers!
I'm not quite sure what you're asking. 😛
<img src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-_QXy4gjDrS0/TO1xYRC7weI/AAAAAAAABV8/gclLg79u0-E/s640/hula1.JPG" width="600/">
I do love me a Hula Girl. Yes, she's a Zombie Hula Girl, that's custom, yo! I actually owned this Hula Girl for almost 5 years before I could install her. (I was driving an IH Scout 80, and they notoriously have no horizontal component to their dashboard.) When I bought Steve The Unremarkable White Pickup it took a week or two before I realized I could install her! Sadly, Steve's 20 year old dashboard had become so brittle Zombie Hula Girl actually pulled the part she was glued to right out like a cork.
I'm also a sucker for St. Christopher schwag. Mostly because he has been de-canonized and is more of a 'People's Choice' saint. A real American Idol. The '61 Scout had one of these clipped to the heater vent.
<img src="http://www.patronsaintmedals.com/productimages/1019V.jpg">
Dude, Zombies don't Hula. They break dance.
I can make her do the Brake Dance!
Did someone say little bobbin' dog?
[youtube czjomds4Jq4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czjomds4Jq4 youtube]
I have been hunting for a vacuum operated dashtop hula girl. Has anyone heard of these? Under vacuum she stands up, open the throttle and she falls down.
Not a hula girl, but it's from the sexy minx on [REDACTED]: http://jalopnik.com/238353/if-you-cant-buy-it-bui…
and http://jalopnik.com/5387975/make-your-own-animatr…
I used to carry Marvin around in my rear seat, but can't remember what ever happened to him.
<img src="http://thumbs.ebaystatic.com/d/w225/m/mTEuvOtSO9GbhvNJvh9Etog.jpg">
<img src="http://memimage.cardomain.com/ride_images/2/3555/41/21385020022_medium.jpg" width="600">
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I'm not sure if you can get these accessories at Pep Boys. They might be a little over-kill.Do you need a carry permit to drive this thing?
<img src="http://www.geekologie.com/2012/07/02/black-knight-hummer-1.jpg" width="600">
I'm scared.
Yes but only a "certified competent reproducer" permit…
No, because that's only a CONCEALED carry permit. Nobody will accuse this of being concealed, so no permit required…
No love for Garfield?
<img src="http://www.moneysupermarket.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/garfield-window.jpg" width="600">
Anyone?
Anyone?…
Maybe he hates Thursdays?
<img src=http://www.prettygreatfun.com/ebay/images/Shrunken_Head_Large3.jpg" width="600">
I'm partial to John Prine, but this'll do in a pinch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHf7TD4qwjk
[youtube GHf7TD4qwjk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHf7TD4qwjk youtube]