Hooniverse Asks- What's the Worst Auto Dealership Name You Have Ever Seen?

Robert Emslie

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Dick Beard

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Thus rationalized Juliet her clandestine booty calls with a member of her family’s arch rivals. Only a teenaged girl could make such an argument. I on the other hand would argue that names are important, especially when one is counting upon one in the attempt to sell something.

I recently heard a story about restaurants trying to pass off pig rectums as fried calamari. I shit you not. It seems that as fried calamari doesn’t have all that distinctive a flavor – typically being smothered in cocktail sauce or lemon juice – the diner’s experience mostly comes down to texture. There apparently isn’t that big a difference in that attribute between sliced up squid and a pig’s poop chute, when similarly prepared. Still, if instead of calamari on the appetizer menu they listed  “fried pig bung” I think that pretty much everybody would choose the mozzarella sticks instead.

I bring this up because such unfortunate names can taint (sorry about that) the relationship between car buyer and seller. Now, car dealers like Kal Worthington have nothing to worry about, as who doesn’t want to go see Kal, go see Kal, go see Kal, and maybe watch him eat a bug? It’s a whole ‘nother thing entirely to have to admit you bought your Impala from Dick Beard. No offense, Dick. 

That’s just one questionably chosen dealer name that might have you looking at the competition, have you come across others that seem equally as poorly considered? What is the worst car dealership name you’ve ever seen?

Image source: Socialphy

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Robert Emslie

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73 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What's the Worst Auto Dealership Name You Have Ever Seen?”

  1. Ansible Avatar
    Ansible

    Does it have to be a car dealership? Hearing ads for this RV company growing up, always confused me.
    http://www.tomraper.com/

    Reply
    1. chrystlubitshi Avatar
      chrystlubitshi

      I posted a couple of pics down below, and then read your comment. I feel the same way about the ads for "Raper RVs".

      Reply
    2. calzonegolem Avatar
      calzonegolem

      This is not even close to a dealership but it makes me think of this baseball field I used to drive past to get to school.
      <img src="http://pzrservices.typepad.com/advertisingisgoodforyou/images/2008/03/03/theharryballfield_copy.jpg"&gt;
      http://www.recreationparks.net/MA/essex/harry-bal…

      Reply
    3. bhtooefr Avatar
      bhtooefr

      I'm glad to see this is the first comment. One upvote for you.

      Reply
    4. SSurfer321 Avatar
      SSurfer321

      You're obviously from the MI-OH-IN tri-state area. I remember hearing/seeing those commercials when I lived up there.

      Reply
  2. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    Geez!
    <img src="http://www.carcityofdanbury.com/04/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/funny-car-dealership-names_-luna_4.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

    Reply
    1. TX_Stig Avatar
      TX_Stig

      Is his cousin named Mike Rotch?

      Reply
    2. stickmanonymous Avatar
      stickmanonymous

      Nice Fairlane he has there.
      #randomobservation

      Reply
    3. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      He and I approve your post!
      <img src="http://www.drinkalot.com/pics/Mike_Litoris.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
      1. $kaycog Avatar
        $kaycog

        Oh, my………..I haven't heard that one.

        Reply
      2. IronBallsMcG Avatar
        IronBallsMcG

        Did you have a hard time finding him?

        Reply
      3. OA5599 Avatar
        OA5599

        [youtube H1g5iPdwTL4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1g5iPdwTL4 youtube]

        Reply
  3. Maxichamp Avatar
    Maxichamp

    There is a local used car lot called Nemesis Motors.

    Reply
    1. TX_Stig Avatar
      TX_Stig

      Hmm, that's actually a lot badge I wouldn't peel off.

      Reply
    2. Tomsk Avatar
      Tomsk

      This is how the employees spend their weekends off.
      [youtube MPfxtJ8SQgk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPfxtJ8SQgk youtube]

      Reply
    3. stigshift Avatar
      stigshift

      Do they sell old British cars?

      Reply
  4. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    <img src="http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/bloguploads/dealership-menlove.jpg"&gt;
    Love men?

    Reply
    1. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      Little guys?

      Reply
  5. OA5599 Avatar
    OA5599

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/QN13s.jpg&quot; width="500">
    <a href="http://www.gaybuickgmc.com/” target=”_blank”>http://www.gaybuickgmc.com/

    Reply
    1. IronBallsMcG Avatar
      IronBallsMcG

      The town certainly adds a little extra.

      Reply
    2. Devin Avatar
      Devin

      Of course they painted it as a rainbow, of course.

      Reply
    3. TX_Stig Avatar
      TX_Stig

      Ha! I was thinking about posting that one. They're still in business down in Dickinson.

      Reply
      1. marmer01 Avatar
        marmer01

        Yes, they sell Subaru. too. Back when I was growing up down there they would put a metal dealer logo on the cars with the word "GAY" in large capital letters and "Dickinson, Texas" on the next line in much smaller letters. It was quite common to see Pontiacs and GMC's driving around where the G-A-Y had been deliberately broken off and "Dickinson, Texas" was still visible.

        Reply
        1. TX_Stig Avatar
          TX_Stig

          Indeed. The best ones were the Azteks. There seemed to be a disproportionate number of those that were sold at Gay.

          Reply
  6. pj134 Avatar
    pj134

    <img src="http://www.prlog.org/10509323-brown-daub.jpg&quot; width="300">
    It's always sounded like an incontinence issue to me.

    Reply
    1. pj134 Avatar
      pj134

      On the other end of the spectrum, this will always be my favorite. Even if it is Thompson as of about a year and a half ago. Really though, Thompson should have stuck with "Holbert's" for its legend when it comes to Porsche.
      <img src="http://images.thesamba.com/vw/classifieds/pix/3680230.jpg&quot; width="500/">

      Reply
  7. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    <img src="http://i21.ebayimg.com/07/s/000/77/63/df4c_1.JPG"&gt;
    I don't want to know what it caught on.

    Reply
  8. chrystlubitshi Avatar
    chrystlubitshi

    I know it's RVs, not standard automobiles; however that just makes the name that much worse.
    <img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3qiteJ-yxK4/T767A4kycpI/AAAAAAA4VK4/il23S26tteM/w350-h100-n-k/photo.jpg&quot; width="500">
    <img src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sKRvUqpt9Qs/UNYL1ZildwI/AAAAAAAAAwM/wcIHaZZdow8/w179-h100-n-k/2012-12-22&quot; width="500">
    EDIT: and now I read the very first comment posted… sorry for the duplicate. I like the first pic with the slogan "where fun begins"

    Reply
    1. TurboBrick Avatar
      TurboBrick

      LOL… "Where the fun begins!"
      Yeaah… so I decided to buy a boat instead, because I didn't feel like getting bent over the sawhorse by the folks at the RV dealership…

      Reply
  9. Impalamino Avatar
    Impalamino

    I'm partial to the Dick Witham chain of dealerships in northeast Iowa.

    Reply
  10. calzonegolem Avatar
    calzonegolem

    the last of the little guys
    <img src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS1EJizpw2mFaA9RmJ6-sze9j10O3AhIPkfTFIs2v7MknY6n_w40Q"&gt;

    Reply
  11. bdt Avatar
    bdt

    <img src="http://donwoodautomotive.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/dwbbtag.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      +1 for the graphic designer.

      Reply
    2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      <img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3332/3668043683_c0642c3b2a_z.jpg&quot; width="480">
      Bill Woods Ford.
      I assume Bill was just taking "Bill ♥s Ford" up a notch.
      (Bill Woods Ford was a local KC car dealer.)

      Reply
  12. furnacegroup Avatar
    furnacegroup

    <img src="http://mikeingreensboro.com/IMG/IMGSEP2012/IMG_0739822.JPG"&gt;

    Reply
    1. Frere P. Avatar
      Frere P.

      Wait just a minute, you can't post this and not let us see the other side!!!

      Reply
  13. bbryant Avatar
    bbryant

    Optometrist in Oklahoma City. I kid you not!! <img src="http://www.google.com/search?q=dr+robert+goodhead+oklahoma+city&hl=en&client=ms-android-verizon&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=etEwUcDqOoSU0QGgjIDQAg&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=360&bih=567&sei=fdQwUfG9DtDx0wHbxYDwDQ#biv=i%7C3%3Bd%7C7Jrp6Vdz-hSpFM%3A.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      There was a car dealer named "Optometrist"?

      Reply
  14. tiberiusẅisë Avatar
    tiberiusẅisë

    I always thought this was silly.
    <img src="http://pictures.dealer.com/f/fbgroup/0184/174f85e040463872015ad36df9bf661c.jpg&quot; width="400">
    I guess I shouldn't talk though, my father had a short lived company called Buy-Wise products. Yep, owl logo and everything.

    Reply
    1. pj134 Avatar
      pj134

      I worked for a Freddy dealership for a few years. He's pretty damn nuts and, while he doesn't exactly sound like Nixon, everyone's impression of him does.
      I used to walk around the store singing the slogan, "Get to know Beeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnnnnsssss!……..FREDBEANS!" impersonating him. It cracked me the hell up anyway.

      Reply
      1. PotbellyJoe Avatar
        PotbellyJoe

        They just bought the dealership i used to work at. The new handbook is hilarious. The dress code for women sounds like it comes from the 1970s.

        Reply
        1. pj134 Avatar
          pj134

          Yeah… He's… interesting in his views on many things.

          Reply
    2. zsvdkhnorc Avatar
      zsvdkhnorc

      I regularly buy from Samuelson's Buy-Wise auto parts in Vauxhall, NJ. I don't think they were as short-lived as you thought.

      Reply
  15. marmer01 Avatar
    marmer01

    My wife says there was a Flatt Tire company in Des Moines.

    Reply
    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      I always found Big O tires disappointingly anticlimactic.
      <img src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.bbhub.com/media/2005/11/bigotires.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
  16. I_Borgward Avatar
    I_Borgward

    My all-time favorite car dealer name, bar none: Lyman Slack, of Portland, Oregon. Lyman! Slack! I had a prized license plate frame from them on my Wildcat, which I stupidly forgot to remove before selling it. <sigh>

    Reply
    1. mdharrell Avatar
      mdharrell

      I wouldn't mind a Lyman plate frame….
      <img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8244/8520264324_ebf81bbede_z.jpg&quot; width="541">

      Reply
  17. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick

    There aren't really any egregious ones that I can think of around here. Certainly none as great as what's been posted so far. But this one always makes me chuckle a bit when I see it on a new Fit or something…
    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/LZEchiM.jpg"&gt;
    Nothing against the Fit, really. Just not exactly what I immediately picture when I hear the term "Manly".

    Reply
    1. Wolfie Avatar
      Wolfie

      Redundancy aplenty

      Reply
    2. Mister X Avatar
      Mister X

      So where you live, in Ukiah, Willits, Lake Co., Mendo coast? What do you drive, I'm in FB and drive a black 4WD RAV4 with a 2M ham antenna sticking out of the roof.

      Reply
  18. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Even though it had closed by the time I was growing up in Buffalo NY, people still made jokes about Humpus Motors.
    <img src="http://www.tanshanomi.com/temp/Humpus_Desoto.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  19. pj134 Avatar
    pj134

    <img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2263/2482467904_af191e3fd1_z.jpg?zz=1&quot; width=500>

    Reply
  20. bbryant Avatar
    bbryant

    Optometrist in Oklahoma City:
    <img src="http://images.citysearch.net/assets/imgdb/merchant/2011/4/26/0/vtVeCSLC54.jpeg"&gt;

    Reply
  21. PotbellyJoe Avatar
    PotbellyJoe

    Kosty's KARS in Paw Paw, MI
    Can't find anything about it now, but when i was a kid in Kalamazoo, I always thought that he could have come up with a more fortunate name…

    Reply
  22. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    <img src="http://www.bostonnightclubnews.com/herbchambers/herb-chambers-flying_1.jpg&quot; width="500/">
    Driving around Boston kinda baked one evening when Vikki riding shotgun chuckles and says, "herb chambers". I'm like, wha..? That car in front of us, it says 'herb chambers'. Couldn't keep a straight face when I saw one for weeks afterwards. Good times.
    Still, I'd rather have herb chambers than the
    <img src="http://www.womenofuniversitycalendars.com/UK_Sponsors/index_files/stacks_image_6.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  23. stigshift Avatar
    stigshift

    TITTY HO MOTOR COMPANY. Game Set. Match. I give you- http://www.tittyhomotorcompany.co.uk/

    Reply
  24. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    <img src="http://images.jambase.com/fans/KenGrodyFord/KG.jpg&quot; width="500" />
    Unfortunate surname is unfortunate.

    Reply
    1. OA5599 Avatar
      OA5599

      To the max.

      Reply
  25. dropgate Avatar
    dropgate

    My BMW was originally sold here. I took that plate frame off right after I bought it.
    <img src="http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2010/12/13/8025209/PP%20BMW%20Front.jpg&quot; width="600">

    Reply
    1. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick

      Just be glad they didn't put one of those dealer stickers on the paint… I've seen a number of those around here.

      Reply
    2. Mister X Avatar
      Mister X

      Ha, This guy is purchasing 70 feet at the end of an alley in my small town 3.5 hours N. of San Francisco, a true car guy.

      Reply
  26. Lou Hall Avatar
    Lou Hall

    How about Crook Motor Company? http://www.crookmotors.com/About

    Reply
  27. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    <img src="http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/bloguploads/dealership-terd.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://www.terdferguson.net/” target=”_blank”>http://www.terdferguson.net/

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      Buy here, pay here.
      I'd expect nothing less from a Terd.

      Reply
  28. duurtlang_ Avatar
    duurtlang_

    I used to drive past a dealership run by a guy named Tiny Cox. It was his real name. Clearly his native language wasn't English.

    Reply
    1. Wolfie Avatar
      Wolfie

      He lived up the street from Jumbo Johnson?

      Reply
  29. GSP51 Avatar
    GSP51

    Doesn't exist any more … Wonder why? … and it was actually a very good dealer: Dickoff Chevrolet

    Reply
  30. hwyengr Avatar
    hwyengr

    Three-Way Chevrolet, Bakersfield, CA
    <img src="http://assets.cobaltnitra.com/teams/repository/export/a66/3d2c8b0e61004895010145efa6b30/a663d2c8b0e61004895010145efa6b30.jpg&quot; width="400">

    Reply
  31. Mad_Hungarian Avatar
    Mad_Hungarian

    There's a whole bunch of Dick Dyer dealerships in and around Columbia, SC. That's bad enough, but if you go looking for Dick Dyer Mitsubishi you'll find this: <img src="http://admin.nakedlime.com/images/Sites/Site20811/Document/DickDyerMitsu-Moved2.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  32. Mad_Hungarian Avatar
    Mad_Hungarian

    Then there are the ones that are just too clever for their own good, like Fairlane Ford in Dearborn, and there used to be a Chevy Chase Chevrolet but it appears to be gone now. Pity. Saturn dealers were almost all named "Saturn of [city]", but unfortunately there never were Saturn dealers in Jupiter, FL or Mars, PA that I know of.

    Reply
    1. Will Avatar
      Will

      Along the same line, see Harrison Ford of Wellington, Ohio.

      Reply
  33. brisbrd Avatar
    brisbrd

    I'm gonna have to go with the DMV dealer chain Koons:
    <img src="http://joycekoonshonda.com/dealerimages/Website_2186/December%202012/KoonsHonda_761x252_KoonsForLife_Apr11.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  34. jjd241 Avatar
    jjd241

    A gugle of "funny car names" produced this… http://www.worldwideinterweb.com/item/1848-funnie…

    Reply