Hooniverse Asks- What's the Best Getaway Car?

Robert Emslie

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In today’s economy, making a living can take some creative thinking, or even a dip into the dark, exciting world of criminal acts. As the banks seem to be pretty flush after getting their bailouts with OUR cash, it seems fitting to try and make ends meet by making a few withdrawls- using a 45 rather than your ATM card.

When he was asked why he robbed banks, career criminal Willy Sutton answered matter-of -fact-idly “because that’s where the money is.” Nicknamed “The Actor,” Sutton ended up on the FBI’s 10-most wanted list for his attempted robberies across the northeast. While you may not wish for that level of notoriety, the extra money that emulating Sutton’s successes could bring wouldn’t be bad.

Given your new-found life of crime, you’ll need to give consideration to the immediate aftereffects of your actions, and how best to make your escape. Giving thought to a balance of performance and anonymity, what’s the best vehicle to use as a getaway car?

Image sources: [ 911uk, ntlworld]

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Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

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  1. Jo_Schmo Avatar
    Jo_Schmo

    A silver 2001 Pontiac Grand am. Get the V-6 and you have a fairly powerful, super ubiquitous get-away car.

    Reply
  2. skitter Avatar
    skitter

    BMWs, Volvos and Mercedes stand out too much, despite public inability to identify models.
    A GMC with Chevy badges might buy a few seconds of database confusion, but won't come close to Miata or MR2 that will have witnesses describing a Ferrari or Lamborghini. Please note, a conspicuous kit car will ease rather than hinder the police search.
    A midsize SUV that even I can't identify may have anonymity sufficient to outweigh its lack of performance.
    V6 Accords are incredibly fast and plentiful, but still too new and eye catching, leading me to the Taurus SHO. It has the pace and capacity to fulfill all of your getaway needs, while being difficult to distinguish from the Fusion.
    Make sure you get a gray or beige one.

    Reply
  3. scroggzilla Avatar
    scroggzilla

    or a Mercedes Benz 450 SEL 6.9[youtube 2d4ej1RPkEI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d4ej1RPkEI youtube]

    Reply
  4. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Old Suburban, preferably the 3/4 ton 4×4 model with a 454 or built 572 crate motor if you are really serious about speed. Ever see the chase videos, the one thing the cops can't stop until the driver does something stupid is an old Suburban. Room for a crew of 8 or 9 and lots of loot. 42 gallon gas tank means very few stops even with single digit fuel economy.

    Reply
    1. Smells_Homeless Avatar
      Smells_Homeless

      You're missing the obvious here. If it's appeared on COPS, it's automatically suspect. They never show the ones that got away.

      Reply
    2. AteUpWithMotor Avatar
      AteUpWithMotor

      I have no use for the Suburban and its ilk any other time, but I have a hard time arguing with this one.

      Reply
    3. CptSevere Avatar
      CptSevere

      Being a 4×4 you could also lose them cross country, especially if it were lifted with some big meats.

      Reply
  5. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    Debadged 1rst gen Infiniti M45 – quick, and no one will know what it is.
    If you're really ballsy, dress up a Crown Vic in your local municipality's police colours.

    Reply
    1. CptSevere Avatar
      CptSevere

      That's easy. Make it look like an unmarked. Keep a donut box on the dash.

      Reply
  6. rennsport964 Avatar
    rennsport964

    You beat me to it. The Champagne-metallic Toyota Camry in the US is completely invisible.
    [Topical reference: a thirty year old white Datsun B210 is not a good vehicle to stalk police in vehicles equipped with video cameras].

    Reply
  7. ptschett Avatar
    ptschett

    I saw a news story just the other day along those lines. A ring of thieves would steal beige Buick Centurys and Olds Cutlass Cieras, then the next day pull off a heist using the nondescript old A-body.

    Reply
  8. BGW, Capt (Ret.) Avatar
    BGW, Capt (Ret.)

    Agree on the SUV. Dark-colored Yukons/Tahoes are more plentiful than trees around here.

    Reply
  9. joshuman Avatar
    joshuman

    A white, but slightly dirty, van. Be sure to change out the magnetic pumber/electrician/tile/glass stickers on the side whenever you change license plates. The only way to outrun the Motorola is to hide in plane sight. Well, if you are in South America and need to escape the local army while carrying a very large emerald, the little mule Pepe (1984 Bronco) is your friend.
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3570/3451233148_1244812f60.jpg&quot; style="width: 500px; height: 214px; border: 0" alt="imgTag" />

    Reply
  10. citroen67 Avatar
    citroen67

    The 600 SUX…oh…wait a minute…I guess those guys didn't get away…

    Reply
  11. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    The General Lee. Bo and Luke escaped the law for 6 years plus a movie in it. It can jump, drive over dirt roads and terrain better than nearly anything else. Plus, you might get Daisy Duke. Mmmmm…Daisy Duke.

    Reply
  12. Dr_Dangerously Avatar
    Dr_Dangerously

    That Merc is also teh hotness

    Reply
  13. Tanshanomi Avatar
    Tanshanomi

    Al Cowlings's Ford Bronco.

    Reply
  14. coupeZ600 Avatar
    coupeZ600

    When we were unloading my '72 Honda Coupe off the truck and after my wife proclaimed there was absolutely no way our children would ever ride in it (because of it's squishability factor by the normal car of choice here in Flagstaff, a lifted Suburban/Excursion) my best-friend's first words were, "Dude, the very first thing you have to do is paint it white." When I asked him why, because I kind of really liked the color, he replied, "Because if they tell the cops, "It was a little white car!", the cops while be all, "Yeah, right…. Thanks……", but if they say, "It was a little orange car!", every cop in town will know exactly who it was." This pissed my wife off further.

    Reply
  15. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Trophy Truck: 800hp smallblock built to run all-out for days, mounted mid-ship, feet of suspension travel, 100+ gallon fuel cell.
    They'll never catch you and you can drive around/over anything that's in your way.

    Reply
  16. VeeArrrSix Avatar
    VeeArrrSix

    Would a Raptor Six.Duece Work?

    Reply
    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      Plausible

      Reply
  17. Thrashy Avatar
    Thrashy

    Better still – get an early Accord V6, convert it back to boring Accord trim, and paint it champagne. Now cover it in a lipstick-red vinyl wrap. As soon as you're out of visual range, peel off the wrap and dispose of it behind a sign shop.

    Reply
    1. Smells_Homeless Avatar
      Smells_Homeless

      Then, after the cops are on to your clever red vinyl wrap trick, you can pull the second layer of to reveal the bunnies and duckies.

      Reply
  18. Tanshanomi Avatar
    Tanshanomi

    <img src="http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2008/02/The_EM50_UrbanAssaultVehicle.jpg"&gt;
    Photo courtesy of jalopnik.com

    Reply