By Robert Emslie
Okay, I previously posited the question of which would be the best vehicle in which to streak, however that exhibitionistic endeavor is different from just plain old driving in the buff. In the case of streaking, you’re actively demonstrating your shortcomings, while au naturel means just wearing your birthday suit.
There are tons of reasons for driving sans-clothes. Maybe, as gas prices go from high to insane, your inherent desire to eke out every mile from each precious gallon means that turning on the A/C – no matter how far below sea level your Death Valley home is – has become verboten. Or maybe it’s just a comfort issue. On any long trip you can get underwear bunching and sweat pools in places heretofore unimagined, both of which can make even the most enjoyable car a nightmare to drive.
And then again, think of the social icebreaking that having a clothing-optional car pool can provide. Not only would you get to work with your business clothes unwrinkled by seat or belt, but you could enjoy the sense of satisfaction that a cold day ensures all men are created equal.
But you wouldn’t want to advertise the fact that you’re driving wearing nothing but your short and curlies. And that’s why motorcycles are a bad choice for nude motoring. Well, that and the prospect of getting road rash on your holy of holies. That means a car or truck, and preferably one that will still provide a bit of the mystery. After all, who’ll buy the cow if they can get the milk for free, am I right?
So, with all that in mind – and probably a few mental images you didn’t want this morning – what do you think would be the best car to drive while wearing only freckles and a smile? And would it be different for the gents than for the ladies?
Image source:[LonelyCold]
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Jeff Glucker
If you got it, flaunt it.
<img src="http://i54.tinypic.com/23sdp35.jpg" width=500>
Or even better…
<img src="http://imcdb.org/i200173.jpg" width=500>
Deja Vu of Vegas had the same idea. It was promptly banned.
<img src="http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Strippers-on-a-Truck-2.jpg">
IMG from GunAxin.com
Are those the three ugly ones?
beauty is only a light switch away
Hmmm… I spy a blue Buick Special parked on the street.
I give you, the suitable motorcycle substitute.
<img src="http://www.fastdrivencars.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Ariel-Atom-2.jpg" width=500 /img>
According to my oft-drunk 52 year old next door neighbor, his F-250.
<img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41691000/jpg/_41691996_popemobile_afp416.jpg">
Thank you BBC
<img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1045/5166612884_4c42ecfba7.jpg">
IMG stolen from random Flickr site
Oops, I'm too slow by two minutes.
<img src="http://bbccupholder.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/nakedmay300.jpg?w=300&h=160" width="200/">
Aston Martin Vantage GT4. It's a ventilation issue.
Browsing history now contains 'nakedmay003.jpg'. Clear! Clear history!…
Oh, cock.
VW Phaeton.
A few years ago, I got an invitation for Nude Recreation Month to drive these:
<img src="http://jeep-parts.uneedapart.com/images/jeep-wrangler-unlimited-parts.jpg">
Oh, one of the big Lincolns or Cadillacs circa late 1970s with the poofy crushed velour seats for sure.
To quote George Costanza, "I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable."
True that. My 1988 Continental had blue velour seating, but no tufting or buttons to leave unsightly imprints on your tushie.
I figure the owners of all new Camaros are driving naked. Why else would they drive a car with gun ports for windows?
You come from Detroit?
One you probably want to avoid.
<img src="http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2009/03/13/17/06/1996_ford_probe_2_dr_gt_hatchback-pic-12294.jpeg"width=500>
Check out the rearview mirror in the title photo of the '80's F-150. See how the silvering has degraded in the center of the mirror? The mirror in my '95 F-150 looks like that, too.
Audi TT.
<img src="http://www.autoparts101.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/2006-Audi-TT-Roadster-red.jpg"width="500"/>
Audi drivers are always showing off their TTs
Ha! You got it.
<img src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2009/03/ttrs090015_large-580.jpg"/>
and RS?
IMG from Autoblog
I'll drive yours.
Wait, you're supposed to drive with clothes on?
Any convertible (Fiat Spider in mycase) so long as skid marks are kept under control.
Well then, you'd be better off with a convertible that's available with ABS and traction control, wouldn—
…oooohh. Nevermind.
Since being nude is basically one step further than going commando, a Commando might be appropriate.
<img src="http://www.jedi.com/obiwan/jeep/misc/pics/c101-2.jpg" width=500>
Any car with an interior that is similar to this…. I can just feel the velour caress my……
<img src="http://memimage.cardomain.com/ride_images/1/1368/1841/3418420006_large.jpg" alt="" />
Virtually any convertible. Whats the point of driving naked if you can't feel the sun on your skin. Now depending on your voyeuristic ambitions weather you choose a Mazda Miata (MX-5) or a lifted Bronco is entirely up to you.
BTW is it bad I can identify the truck in the pic? 87-91 F-350 Diesel Crew Cab.
"Whats the point of driving naked if you can't feel the sun on your skin?"
Um, I believe the correct answer would be "you get to drive around naked without getting skin cancer."
(Says the guy who's already had two tumors removed from his head, and treats direct sun like kryptonite.)
You can always tell if someone is a native Arizonan. Long Pants, Long Sleeves, and a Big Hat. That fiery Orb of Death up in the sky will kill you.
You aren't the only one! Though there is know way to tell that it is a Diesel or a Dually. It could also be an SC but it's most likely a crew.
Tach redlines at 4K RPM which indicates a Diesel & that style headliner wasn't used in the supercab, only the Crewcab. The other indicator is the seat back shows no sign of having a break in it, Supercabs that had the bench seat had a 60/40 split back.
I also unofficially guessed this truck was from Texas due to the windshield stickers. Turns out that hunch was right.
Learn something new everyday.
An Ariel Atom, to really feel the wind.
Yea, but those june bugs are killers.
>poof!<
(…damn, didn't work. Insert your own version of a junebug joke here. It's probably better than what I came up with.)
Not my car. Old, cracked leather cuts your butt. Plus the stickiness.
Driving naked is no big deal. Now, changing a flat naked takes balls…
and nuts
And a spare rubber, err.. a rubber spare.
And in Charles's case, a Jack would come in handy.
Take the tops off (as well as the bottoms)
<img src="http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/12/2008/02/medium_280ZX_T-Tops_476.flv.jpg">
<img src="http://www.autobytel.com/images/2007/Dodge/Nitro/400/2007_Dodge_Nitro_01.jpg">
Oh you said DRIVE….sorry about that. Disregard this posting…
IMG from AutoBytel.com
Never gets old.
<img src="http://www.carpictures1.com/var/resizes/Cadillac_1976_Eldorado_Convertible_001_4_1600x1200.jpg" width="400">
There is only one definitive answer to this: 1976 Eldorado Convertible. A true-life experience from the spring of my 23rd year explains why…
One Saturday evening in May or June of 1986, I was riding my bicycle around my Bloomington, MN neighborhood. It had been sunny all day, but by this time (about 5 to 6 PM) the sun was behind the trees and the temperature was probably only in the low 70s, tops. A white-on-white Eldo convertible with the top down pulled up beside me and slowed to my pace. Inside was a curvy, attractive brunette lady in her 40s or 50s, totally nude. "Excuse me," she said casually, smiling, "I'm trying to get to Shakopee to meet my husband, and I'm lost. How do I get to Highway 18 from here?"
We both came to a stop and I stood astride my bike beside the passenger-side door, trying to act as cool as possible in the situation and not appear too distracted, even though I had a very plain view of her vaporware outfit. I politely explained how to get out of our subdivision and reach the highway; she thanked me and drove off. The whole encounter lasted perhaps 30-40 seconds, but it was so surprising — even surreal — that I can vividly recall every minute detail of both her and the car 25 years later.
I remember canoeing on Lake Calhoun and the adjoining lakes with my dad and sister when I was around 12. We noticed a nearby canoe being paddled by two lovely college-age women who were nude (at least whatever was visible above the sides of the canoe).
My dad had his 35mm camera with him. He snapped a picture or two. I tried to get him to paddle closer, but he said the camera lens would make everything appear closer.
When we got the photos back, you could hardly see anything due to the distance between our canoes.
Dear Penthouse Forum…..
…I used to think that all those stories were fake, until one happened to me…
Anything with crotch vents. Oh and preferably very reliable. I
f you have to leave the car or stop and get it fixed you may run into some issues besides your broken car.
You're the first person to notice what she's driving.
Model/celebrity body double, Rachel Carr
<img src="http://cdn.springboard.gorillanation.com/storage/craveonline.com/upl_images/rachel-carr1.jpg">
And hello clothespin?!? Yeow.
Sounds like a fun girl.
Maybe it's not for her.
If I'm gonna be naked I want a Hummer.
<img src="http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2009-10-10-hummerh1.jpg" width="500">
Don't ask.
<img src="http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/22038_1326058836096_1369652107_913176_7083258_n.jpg" />
Indeed. If you're naked, it's best to be in a Companion.
You sir. +1 internets
Probably something like this:
<img src="http://www.rrab.com/cars00/sg101c.jpg"width=500>
It really isn't a pretty sight.
Still too much showing there for me. I'd have to have one of these.
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b9/Abrams-transparent.png/800px-Abrams-transparent.png" width="500"/>
I'm going to go with someone else's car. I'm sure the flawless Alcantara seats in my car would feel great on my bare butt, but I'm not going to go there.
Anything with blacked out windows – Believe me, everyone would thank me later but I have already tried it, everyone was "Yo, where did you get that gorilla suit?"
<img src="http://www.businessweek.com/the_thread/brandnewday/archives/weinermobile.jpg">
I'll just put this out there and let you ponder it.
[Image from BusinessWeek]
That's one half of the "different for the gents than for the ladies" question. Here is the counterpart.
<img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h0SQqY8ocp4/SipWGZ1grII/AAAAAAAAKQo/FvT6nZoHX_Q/s400/grillethrill+stuble+1.jpg">
Meyers Manx. Lots of people did drive them naked back in the day, and it's one of the few cars that lets its engine hang out fully exposed.
<img src="http://www.precision-illustration.com/Images/KC-10_Meyers_Manx.jpg">
I prefer the styling of the later Manx SR:
<img src="http://www.automk.com/media/2009/06/20090609081337136.jpg" width="600">
BTW, she's not nekkid. She's wearing her seatbelt. Giggity.
/rushes over to college humor.
Lake Calhoun is a relatively small urban lake though, smack dab in Minneapolis city limits. The jogging trail that encircles it is only about three miles in circumference. No reasonable expectation of privacy there.
I believe Lake Erie is significantly larger.
Anything with a bench seat.
Gotta go breezy…
<img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2409/2221859544_c21630b7bb.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Fiat 500 "Jolly"">
<img src="http://i285.photobucket.com/albums/ll54/palantirin/boobs.jpg" width="400">