Hooniverse Asks- What Car Would You Like to Drive into a Pool?

Jezza did it in a Roller, Keith Moon favored a Lincoln Continental, and just last month a Massachusetts mom canonballed her SUV. Driving cars into swimming pools may not have the national attention of say Dancing With the Stars, but it’s a hell of a lot more entertaining. Of course, if you want to participate, and you know you do, then you’re going to need to have the proper tools.

First you’ll need a swimming pool- they’re a lot cleaner and less filled with alligators than swamp bogs and ponds.

Next up, you’ll need enough room to build up sufficient speed so you’ll get some air time. Failing to do so can mean flipping suddenly into the pool and possibly ejecting you out the sunroof, whereupon you’ll most likely land on the diving board – Wiley Coyote style – and then be further sprung into something sharp, probably a cactus patch.

Lastly, you’ll need a vehicle. Now, this is an important consideration because not only do you have to take into account the kind of car you should drive into a pool – based on time to speed, hydrodynamics, and other factors – but also what kind of car you’d want to drive into a pool. You know, what kind of car deserves to catch a wave and then sink ignominiously to the 9-ft depths of the chlorine marine. There are obviously several candidates that come to mind, and I’ll let you in on my little secret- Panamera. I’m not saying anything more, but now you know to keep me away from both your pool and your Porsche.
So, let’s say you’re taking this whole car pool thing at face value and are planing trip that ends in a dip, what car would you want to put in the drink?
Image sources: [tyresmoke.net, drivingwhileundertheinfluence.blogspot.com]

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  1. dukeisduke Avatar

    How about a Rambler Marlin? Hey, it's named after a fish!

  2. dukeisduke Avatar

    Sounds like a job for Mythbusters!

  3. retro Avatar

    I'd be willing to risk drowning and electrocution for the chance to drive a Prius into that pool.

  4. K5ING Avatar

    How about an old VW bug. As long as the windows are up and the doors are closed, the moment will last longer.

    1. name_too_long Avatar

      First thing that came to mind was the Esprit, but I wouldn't want to ruin one… second was the Squba, I would drive it in and do laps.

  5. Black Steelies Avatar

    An Amphicar. Anything else and you just get soaked.

  6. lilwillie Avatar

    Score! I too, I'd like to be able to get it out and still be able to drive it.

  7. dmdukejr Avatar

    My Grandfather-in-law has one of those. Trust me, you will still probably get soaked.

  8. tonyola Avatar

    A convertible with the top down so I could easily get out of the car (and pool) after I've plunged in. It would be embarrassing to drown in your car because the electric windows or locks shorted out or you got stuck trying to get out of the window. So let's make it impressive and immerse a Phantom Drophead Coupe.

  9. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    First good laugh of the day – once again my friend. You do good work.

  10. Ambersand Avatar

    Gah, you beat me to it!

  11. Ambersand Avatar

    You know, of course, I heart you for this.

  12. Maymar Avatar

    Chevy Chevelle Laguna, in Hawaiian Tropic colours. Not so much that I'd want to stuff it in the drink, but I suspect if I ever drive one, there'll be a Cannonball one way or another.

  13. Jim Brennan Avatar
    Jim Brennan

    Ha, very funny…

  14. scroggzilla Avatar

    Just for this? I thought our relationship was deeper than a mere desire for Teutonic air-cooled, ass-engined machinery.

  15. isaac Avatar

    Beat me to it!

  16. Mike_the_Dog Avatar

    There's a guy around here that shows up at every cruise night with his Chrome-and-billet-laden SBC-powered (with the Ford-logoed billet ignition wire looms, natch) fiberglass '32 Ford with flames actually molded into the fiberglass. That wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't stop every ten feet of so while driving out at the end of the night and rev the engine seven or eight times to remind everybody trying to enjoy a beer in the sidewalk cafe that he has very short open pipes for headers and no regard at all for anybody else's desire not to be deafened by an asshole. I would drive that bitch into the pool (possibly with him sealed into the rumble seat) at WOT, in the hopes that it would hydro-lock or better yet blow a head off. I'm secretly hoping he tries to bring it to Billetproof and that I get to see the gate goons tell him to take it down the street.

  17. Mike_the_Dog Avatar

    How about something more deserving of being sunk?
    [/AMC fanboi mode]

  18. Lotte Avatar

    Exactly. And the car I'm driving into the pool will be the one I'll be driving in the pool. Win-win-win!

  19. ptschett Avatar

    Two years ago I'd have said the same thing about a neighbor and a straight-piped Harley that had a warmup ritual that could take half an hour and resembled that guy's departures. I'm glad I don't live there anymore.

  20. dukeisduke Avatar

    How about a Rambler Marlin? Hey, it's named after a fish!

  21. bzr Avatar

    Chrysler Sebring convertible. Then I would put the electric top up and turn the swimming pool into a vat of pure electricity!

  22. rovingardener Avatar

    Mercedes Benz S63. Individually as a car, its great. The engine is great. Altogether, it's a combination asking for buffoonery.

  23. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
  24. muthalovin Avatar

    I would totally belly-flop a Smart Car into the pool. Actually, now that I think about what would happen, I would triple front summersault a Smart Car into the pool. Judges?

  25. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    In high school (circa mid 80s) one of my friends drove a backhoe into our school's brand-new Olympic class pool in retaliation for being expelled… in retaliation for hacking into their computers to change all his friend's grades, in retaliation for getting a low grade.
    I don't think I could ever top that.
    And sadly, my grades remained in summer-school territory. Jerk.

  26. Mechanically Inept Avatar

    Someone else's.