Hooniverse Asks- The World Ends at 6:00 Tomorrow Night, What Are You Gonna Drive To The Grave?

Robert Emslie

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There’s a group of folks who follow a certain preacher man, and this dude of the cloth has predicted that the world will end tomorrow at 6:00 PM. Well, it’s not going to end for most of us, just for the true believers who will be spirited off before – literally – all hell breaks loose. Sure, they may be wrong, and the preacher man may be a crack pot – shizzle, he’s batting 0 for 1 having previously said that the world would end back in 1994, however it turned out that Brenda and Dylan finally sleeping together didn’t have the anticipated world-shattering effect that the preacher and FoxTV had predicted.
But what if they, and all their billboards, are right? What if the world does go to hell in a handbasket at 6:00? Now, there’s some conjecture as to exactly where the fireworks will start as 6:00 pm is kind of a moving target considering the Earth’s spin and all. Regardless, it’s going to go down right around the middle of somebody’s cocktail hour and make for a very, very bad day. Especially for all of you who have been – as Loverboy so eloquently put it – working for the weekend. Couldn’t Judgement Day have a little sympathy and happen on a Monday? I mean, who plans this crap?
Anyway, as everything will be going to hell – plagues of frogs (real ones too, not just French tourists, mon dieu!), fire and brimstone raining from the sky, Mel Gibson moving in next door – it’ll be a good opportunity while everyone else is panicking for you to jump on any ride that you’ve been secretly wishing you could sell your soul to the devil to drive.  And since now you’re probably going to meet old Scratch in person pretty shortly, what car or truck would that be?
Image source: [cakecentral.com]

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Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

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51 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- The World Ends at 6:00 Tomorrow Night, What Are You Gonna Drive To The Grave?”

  1. tonyola Avatar
    tonyola

    How about a Dodge Demon?
    <img src="http://americanclassicars.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/1971DodgeDemon1.jpg&quot; width=400>

    Reply
  2. OA5599 Avatar
    OA5599

    <img src="http://madamepickwickartblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/munster2.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  3. Feds_II Avatar
    Feds_II

    Interesting that the last apoca-guess was centred around Brenda and Dylan, as just last night we found out that Bones is pregnant with Angel's Booth's undead baby.
    While there are many vehicles I could choose, at the end of the day, practicality has to have some influence. The motorcycle dealership that I can walk to from my house has a CBX in their used inventory. If you can't mow the zombies down, you might as well outrun them:
    <img src="http://pictures.dealer.com/c/clarescycleampsporttc/0650/de4691e00a0a0064012eabae864b75d2.jpg&quot; width=500>

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      Excellent choice. I got to thinking about those one day last summer, for no particular reason. As if by magic, my gearhead neighbor pulled into my driveway the very next day on a pristine example. They didn't enjoy the market success that Honda had hoped for but boy, are they neat.

      Reply
  4. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    I do consider myself a believer, but I also believe in Mark 13:32, Matthew 24:36, and Acts 1:7 (basically this particular preacher man is nuts). But just in case everything I believe turns out wrong, this should be available:
    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack – Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/152/bt0004575321ry2.jpg/'><img src='http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/1467/bt0004575321ry2.jpg&#039; border='0'/>
    Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      So we know where the Trinity sits (Jesus to the right of The Father). Where will you go?

      Reply
      1. tonyola Avatar
        tonyola

        The Holy Ghost doesn't need a seat. He's a divine spirit, right? He can just fly along. And isn't sitting to the left of The Father less than comforting to the driver? Isn't that where the damned sit? Would The Father take the McLaren as compensation?

        Reply
    2. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Yeah, who gave him the inside scoop? It could be any time (the end of the world). He doesn't know, and we don't know. Just enjoy a good Saturday night.

      Reply
  5. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    Yesterday, I stopped by the liquor store and picked up a bottle of bourbon. As I was checking out, the guy bagging the bottle looked at me and asked, "you should have gotten 2. The Rapture is tomorrow."
    I replied, "Oh, your right! Goddamn!"
    With that, I will still be here. I figure my standard response of Raptor will work just fine. After all, what better way to be ready for the Rapture actually in a Raptor. Mind. Just. Kasploded.

    Reply
  6. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    I'm going to go out in a blaze of glory!
    <img src="http://www.stepforwardnow.com/bjmotors/images/inventory/2005FordGTTT_0190/large_01.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

    Reply
    1. chrystlubitshi Avatar
      chrystlubitshi

      i know the road to hell quite well. might you need a navigator?? i can show you the quick way…….

      Reply
      1. $kaycog Avatar
        $kaycog

        It sounds like you've been there and back. How about if I show you the other way? 😉

        Reply
        1. chrystlubitshi Avatar
          chrystlubitshi

          oooOOOOoooo i'd gladly take the long way 'round with you hon.

          Reply
      2. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        A Lincoln Navigator?

        Reply
  7. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    If it comes, I'm hoping my heavenly reward includes a garage full of obscure iron so I'm not gonna worry about it.

    Reply
  8. mdharrell Avatar
    mdharrell

    <img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5141/5660464743_c672ec5dab.jpg&quot; width="450">
    Pallida mors aequo pulsat pede pauperum tabernas regumque turres.
    I'm guessing it's some sort of taxi service.

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      "Pale Death, with impartial foot, knocks at the cottages of the poor and the palaces."
      By Sunday, I guess all languages will be dead languages.

      Reply
    2. Charles_Barrett Avatar
      Charles_Barrett

      Hmm… Google Translate gave me this translation:
      "Death knocks with impartial foot towers of the poor of the shops and monarchs'…"
      At least those foot towers are the impartial kind… could be worse…

      Reply
  9. Jonny Lieberman Avatar
    Jonny Lieberman

    Like most questions in life, Lemmy answered this one many, many years ago
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV6noHEd6XE

    Reply
    1. scroggzilla Avatar
      scroggzilla

      That is, in my estimation, the Citizen Kane of rock videos.

      Reply
  10. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    Lord, I hope so! It's a twin-turbo, 1250 RWHP, so that should do the job. http://www.stepforwardnow.com/bjmotors/2005fordgt…

    Reply
    1. OA5599 Avatar
      OA5599

      I'm pretty sure that's a Lambo, dude.
      <img src="http://www.clutchd.com/wp-content/gallery/08_april_2010-singles/clutchd-com-lamborghini_in_flames.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
      1. $kaycog Avatar
        $kaycog

        No, it's a twin-turbo that burned in Texas a couple of days ago. *sob*
        <img src="http://i527.photobucket.com/albums/cc354/LuckyL053r/photo-1898.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

        Reply
  11. topdeadcentre Avatar
    topdeadcentre

    The end is near (again…).
    It's time to get the hell outta here:
    <img src="http://www.lastinterceptor.com/O3.jpg&quot; alt="Last of the V8 Interceptors" title="Last of the V8 Interceptors" width="650">
    /"Pursuit Special", not "Interceptor" 🙂

    Reply
    1. chrystlubitshi Avatar
      chrystlubitshi

      i believe that is pronounced "hee-ah"

      Reply
  12. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    With those choices, you will truly be a fallen angel.

    Reply
  13. lilwillie Avatar
    lilwillie

    Not driving anywhere. I'll sit on the deck and overlook my personal green zone with case of Beer and loaded guns. The cars will be prepped for the escape. My son will rise up and either strike you all down or decide that Fanboy and Chum-Chum are on and let us all live.

    Reply
  14. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    If you used a Plymouth instead, it'd be a Breeze.

    Reply
  15. SSurfer321 Avatar
    SSurfer321

    Beelzebub cant' catch me if he can't see me.
    <img src="http://tcarther.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/2008-aston-martin-dbs-next-bond-car-debuts-a-640.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  16. joshuman Avatar
    joshuman

    I plan on entering the branch at 462 Albert St., Waterloo, in mid-June when I take a trip to the corporate HQ. Odds are, it isn't yours though.

    Reply
    1. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      Nope, mine's north of Toronto.

      Reply
    2. Feds_II Avatar
      Feds_II

      Ah Albert st. Beer store. Many many cases have entered my life form that address.

      Reply
  17. joshuman Avatar
    joshuman

    Does anybody remember the scene from that movie "On the Beach" where one of the characters lives out his last moments running laps at what I think was Phillip Island? That would be a good way to go. I can't find the clip but I think he was driving a Ferrari 355 or 550.

    Reply
    1. Robert Emslie Avatar
      Robert Emslie

      It was a Testa Rossa and Fred Astaire was the driver. He actually offs himself by revving the living hell out of it while shut in the garage and drinking richly its death-filled exhaust. Creepy movie made all the more so by being set predominantly in Australia, and then being populated with American actors without any sort of Aussie accent. Oy! Oy! Oy!

      Reply
      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        The auto race was epic, with all sorts of people crashing and dying. The sub surfaced off Australia and stayed there because the fallout and radiation hadn't reached there. The scene where the sub goes back to the U.S. was pretty strange.

        Reply
      2. joshuman Avatar
        joshuman

        I was thinking of the remake from the early 2000s.

        Reply
      3. OA5599 Avatar
        OA5599

        This Hooniverse Asks question should have been bylined by you instead of that Robert guy.

        Reply
  18. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    Pagani Zonda F.
    Everyone knows supernatural forces are repelled by SCIENCE!, and what’s more SCIENCE!-y than carbotanium monocoques?
    And if I’m wrong, at least I’ll go out in the ultimate expression of supercar-dom.

    Reply
  19. Jim-Bob Avatar
    Jim-Bob

    I'm a Christian but I don't believe this guy knows what he is talking about any more than my neighbor with paranoid schizophrenia knows what she is talking about. That being said, if the rapture DOES come tomorrow night, I will likely be in my 1991 Geo Metro delivering pizza, or shall I say I will be delivered FROM delivering pizza in a Geo Metro. Hopefully heaven will hold something awesome for me to drive for eternity-like an SR20-DET powered PL 510.

    Reply
  20. LTDScott Avatar
    LTDScott

    Duh.
    <img src="http://www.gmtuners.com/85FieroL36/85fieroL36b.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  21. dragon951 Avatar
    dragon951

    There is a Porsche Dealer down the street with a CGT, but that isn't very original. I guess I will have to track this down, co-pilot included:
    <img src="http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs212.snc3/21953_1351720317544_1367472072_31013484_3808224_n.jpg"&gt;
    I knew this picture would come in handy again some day.
    "Suck on my boomstick Satan."

    Reply
  22. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    You too, hoser!

    Reply
  23. ZomBee Racer Avatar
    ZomBee Racer

    You KNEW this was coming…
    ZomBee car from hell!!
    <img src="http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/249535_10150187175854495_36766739494_7173782_8093637_n.jpg&quot; width="500" />

    Reply
    1. ZomBee Racer Avatar
      ZomBee Racer

      The ZomBee awaits…
      <img src="http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/230631_2084822884723_1369652107_2454431_1051313_n.jpg&quot; width="500" />

      Reply
  24. crinklesmith Avatar
    crinklesmith

    <img src="http://blog.jameslist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/sand-x_atv_4-600×450.jpg"/&gt;

    Reply
    1. njhoon Avatar
      njhoon

      That is cool. So I had to find out more about it and found this (below) I think this might be better for the Zombies.
      <img src="http://www.sand-x.com/images/content/toplevels/DPV_T_ATV1200-8.JPG&quot; width="600">

      Reply
  25. Lotte Avatar
    Lotte

    <img src="http://www.auto123.com/ArtImages/2594/1.jpg&quot; width=400>
    Unfortunately. And that is if I were to be driving at the time. If not I'd probably see a couple of undeads driving away in it as it's so easy to operate…

    Reply
  26. Black Steelies Avatar
    Black Steelies

    Well it would be easy to say Rosemary the hearse as usual but seeing that she's parked 200 miles away and pending inspection- it'll probably be a god-be-damned Dodge Stratus.

    Reply
  27. Smells_Homeless Avatar
    Smells_Homeless

    Eh, if it were actually going to happen, I'd probably stick with the GTO. Goat features on Ol' Splitfoot, you know. He might dig it.
    But that ain't gonna happen, and here's why. I have a loaded 20-sided die and I plan to roll a natural 20 on my disbelieve roll, thereby saving the world for everyone.
    /Y'all can thank me later.
    //Especially you, Christina Ricci
    ///Supergeek? What gave you that idea?

    Reply
  28. jjd241 Avatar
    jjd241

    <img src="http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh3/darksoldier1771/12126-ghost-rider_400.jpg&quot; width="400">

    Reply
  29. Van Sarockin Avatar
    Van Sarockin

    Well, we all know that the Diablo will take the hindmost. If I drive a Cirrus, I'll have one hell of a head start. Then again any Subaru already knows the way home.

    Reply