Hooniverse Asks- If Your Favorite Auto Maker Had a Cologne, What Would it Smell Like?

We all want to smell good. But, being car people we usually emit the funk of road grime and drive-thru food farts. Both of those olfactory offenses may be masked by the judicious application of a gallon or two of some eau de toilette, but if we’re going to go the perfume route, we might as well smell like our favorite car.

I don’t know about you, but if someone asks me what the aroma is I’m wearing, I don’t think I’d like to respond with oh that’s just the smell of a hummer.
Of course, alternatively you could splash on some Funky Ford or spritz a little Cobra Venom on your stinky bits. Old Spice kinda’ guy? The hell with that, how about some Olds Sunfire? There’s surely a car or truck out there that makes you sweat, so would be the smell based on that fav with which you could cover up that sweat?
Almost everybody likes the new car smell, but once that faders to but a memory, each brand takes on its own specific funk. If you were to bottle up the distillation of your dream machine to sell, how would you describe the aroma? Would it be a subtle combination of 100 octane and polished aluminum? Whatever it is, one whiff should conjure up visions of its progenitor, and perhaps the desire for a drive.
So, what would your favorite car or truck’ cologne smell like? And while we’re on the subject, what would you call your connecting rod infused concoction?
Image sources: [Perfumezilla.com, d-kele.com]

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25 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- If Your Favorite Auto Maker Had a Cologne, What Would it Smell Like?”

  1. engineerd Avatar

    There is a Mustang cologne, and it's ok but not great.
    My other favorite automaker is BMW, but that would just smell like Summers' Eve.

    1. nofrillls Avatar

      Funny, I would think BMW would smell something like tire rubber and oil simmering on hot exhaust manifolds on a summer's eve.

    2. Deartháir Avatar

      I didn't catch that joke at first… then I remembered what Summers' Eve was. And it could not be a more appropriate analogy. Now I can't stop giggling.

  2. Bill Avatar

    On a seperate note, I soak my razor in light machine oil, to make the blade last longer. It gives off a slight but manly scent. 🙂

  3. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

    Pagani would smell like a mix of bacon and jet fuel.

    1. engineerd Avatar

      I'm imagining the type of woman that would be attracted to that. It's getting me all hot and bothered.

      1. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

        It is also making me entirely too excited
        (think about Sebrings and Aztecs, helps calm you down)

  4. SSurfer321 Avatar

    Favorite cologne would be the smell of the new leather in a King Ranch Ford Truck.
    Least would be the smell of a Ford 2.9L V6…

  5. HDC Avatar

    Jeep: It would smell of clogged heater cores with a slight hint of dirty 10W30 leaking from a rear main seal.

  6. BGW Avatar

    Whiskey, electrical smoke and desperation.
    Oh wait, that's if *I* had a cologne.

  7. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

    Nice, that makes me think they would literally smell like a juicy steak, cherry blossoms, and chlorine gas.

  8. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

    What would Caterham smell like?
    KY and leather?

  9. nofrillls Avatar

    Banjo Bolts No. 5
    The unmistakable, unforgettable fragrance of dismantling varnished, early K-Jetronic fuel distributors in dank New England salvage yards. Who could resist?

  10. discontinuuity Avatar

    Toyota: smells like vanilla.
    But really, my favorite isn't really a certain manufacturer, but I like a lot of late '80s Japanese sports cars. I imagine they would smell like sushi, hairspray, cocaine, economic optimism, wankel, and TURBO.

  11. engineerd Avatar

    VW Golf Cologne smells of titanium, beer, stagnant water and frustration. It costs $2.
    The Audi A3 cologne smells exactly the same, but with added knickers. It costs $6.

  12. muthalovin Avatar

    Keep in mind, Mr. Graverobber, that their are also ladies that visit, so you might expand it to cologne/perfume.
    On that note, I would want to smell like an NSR 250. 2-stroke hydrafloracarbonitus.

  13. Black Steelies Avatar

    Buick would prolly smell like a strong mixture of Old Spice and Brut with a vague hint of Geritol.

  14. BPR Avatar

    Classic Mini: Smells like hot oil & gas, smoked tires, dryer sheets to keep the mice out, and for a bonus some bottles come with a whiff of Lucas electrical smoke at no extra cost!

  15. Feds_II Avatar

    If my RX-7 had a cologne, it would smells like 100:1 premix, bleeding ears, hot brakes, and oversteer.

  16. engineerd Avatar

    That panel gap is about right.

  17. Alff Avatar

    I don't have to imagine, just step into the garage. Redline gear oil has a distinctive aroma.

  18. W. Kiernan Avatar
    W. Kiernan

    Two-stroke oil? Fricasseed apex seals?

  19. Straight6er Avatar

    My Dad always used to come home smelling of Jet fuel. I want a cologne scented like that.

  20. got a neon Avatar
    got a neon

    Dodge-cheap plastic

  21. Delila Quertermous Avatar

    Lawl I just noticed, you have the same name as I do. We both think the same way. Anyway, I’ve been stopping over your Blog lately especially when I’m bored and have nothing to do 🙂