Hooniverse Asks- If They Re-Made Back to the Future, What'd Play the Delorean?

A discussion ran around One Hooniverse Plaza yesterday (by which I mean a bunch of email volleys between our parent’s basements) regarding the potential of a Back to the Future remake – which you know somebody’s planning out there somewhere – that raised the question: what current car would get the Delorean’s role?
As Doc Brown explained it, the reason for choosing a Delorean was the singular properties of its stainless steel skin, as well as his view that if you’re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?
Both of those factors played into a major plot device in the film, that of the car appearing to be so alien back in 1955 as to cause panic in the populous who did manage to glimpse it.
Now, if you were to re-make the movie, instead of the ’50s, Marty would be traveling back 30 years into the same decade as was the original’s present day – the ’80s. And of course, this being a science fiction fantasy, they would still use a transport mechanism that’s played more for humor than realism, so it would be a car, not a hot tube.
But what car would that be? Obviously there aren’t any cars out there sporting a full stainless steel union suit, and for gull-wing doors your options are few. But Hollywood loves to re-imagine rather than strictly remake, and so you’d have leeway with certain plot points providing the ability to write in the reason for your preferred choice of car.
So why don’t you do that? If you were remaking Back to the Future, where Marty travels back 30 years to the ’80s, what car would he use, and what about it would it make the best choice? Get to work, Future-boy!
Image sources: [manandhhisbaby, sarcastic gamer]

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42 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- If They Re-Made Back to the Future, What'd Play the Delorean?”

  1. FЯeeMan Avatar

    Riced out Civic with Lambo doors, neon, faux ground effects & a fart can. They appear very alien now, so it'd definitely cause shock and panic back in the 80's.

  2. P161911 Avatar

    Bricklin SV-1, the other poorly performing gull winged sports car.
    According to the DVD commentary the main reason the DeLorean was chosen was the fact the gull winged doors looked so futuristic for the barn crash scene in the 1950s.
    Realistically, maybe a Spyker, those are rather odd/futuristic looking.

  3. retro Avatar

    If it ever happened (hopefully it won't), it would no doubt be some corporate sellout. A few years ago it would almost certainly have been a Musting. Now, I'm guessing some sort of crappy hybrid.

  4. retro Avatar

    For a non-sponsored choice, I'm guessing the Tesla would be in with a shot.
    "Are you telling me that this sucker is nuclear?"
    "No! This sucker's electrical. But I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity that I need."

    1. superbadd75 Avatar

      Tesla is a great choice! Good one.

    2. Maymar Avatar

      Just what I was thinking too. In addition, it could be just a matter of time before we see John DeLorean and Elon Musk's stories start to parallel each other.

    3. BrianTheHoon Avatar

      I hate it when I post something before checking to see if someone else said it first … great call!

  5. MarionCobretti Avatar

    Hmm…an obscure, poor performing exotic with styling that would terrify people in the 1980's? How about the Mitsuoka Orochi Premium Gold?

  6. Froggmann_ Avatar

    Funny, and sad, the current crop of cars available today are all quite imaginable in the 80s. That says some pretty bad things about our current styling trends.
    Oh and production studios? Don't make this movie, that is not a request. That is an order.

    1. P161911 Avatar

      Cars from the last 20 years all seem to have pretty much the same style, especially the last 15 years. For the first time in the history of the automobile we seem to have reached somewhat of a design stagnation. It was very easy to tell most cars that were at least a decade old until about 15 years ago. 1995s just don't look that different from the 2010s compare that to say a 1915 vs 1930 or 1955 vs. a 1970 or 1970 vs 1985. Sure there are exceptions (Jeep!) with some long lived particular models.

      1. Saturnsufferer Avatar

        Perhaps we can add Cadillac and its' "art and science" design philosophy to your list of exceptions?

  7. bzr Avatar

    I didn't make it back in time from the DnD marathon tournament because my mother was stuck in traffic with the '95 Caravan, but my vote is for the SLS AMG. Even though it's from a well-established manufacturer (and thus there's less chance of cocaine-infused drama), it's also silver, square-shaped, and exotic. And it'd be worth it for the goofy doors alone.

  8. alcology Avatar

    I'm with freeman. VTEC just kicked in yo.

  9. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    I gotta stay with the Delorean. It's as weird today as it was 30 years ago, and people never really got used to it.
    Although for "future-shock" value the smart car has WTF written all over it.
    Still, haven't we learned about messing with our heritage? BTTF is off limits. Anyone who attempts it is a dork.

    1. Tomsk Avatar

      Haven't you been paying attention? As far as Hollywood is concerned original stories and properties are dead and buried.

  10. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

    Your theory is exactly right, it will be some kind of a corporate sponsor (read: how much will you pay us to use your car)
    Seeing as GM just wasted how much money on the "Chevrolet" vs. "Chevy" fiasco, I think they'd be ready to spend more on this movie, so I'd have to say a Chevy Volt. (also agreeing with those below who suggested some Hybrid technology vehicle.
    Maybe instead of a Mr. Fusion machine, the Volt's power would be supplemented by a Blend Tech (Will it Blend?) blender.

  11. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Wait. He finally got that thing to fly?

    1. name_too_long Avatar

      Well, hover.
      That damn FAA won't give him clearance to have it off the ground without a tether. Who the hell do they think they are, the government?

  12. Tomsk Avatar

    If the styling doesn't boggle the minds of people in the '80s, the idea of 390(?) factory-built, smog legal horsepower from a pushrod V8 definitely will.

  13. Tomsk Avatar

    <img src="http://learnsomethingnewtoday.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/pontiac-aztek.jpg&quot; width="640" height="384" />
    Heinously underpowered? Check.
    Out of this world styling? Check.
    Probably seemed like a good idea at the time? Check.

  14. tonyola Avatar

    1. It has to be fast-looking.
    2. It has to have a loser reputation
    3. There must be some sort of dramatic story associated with the car.
    A Bricklin! Or maybe a Vector W12!

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      Vector is a great choice. But Bricklins were already around long before '85, which sort of negates the impact of using one to come from the future.

  15. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    The Aztek is actually a brilliant choice here…
    Though I agree with a few comments above that it will be a be-winged, be-neoned, be-stereotyped Civic.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      Yay! I got an official Hooniverse stamp of approval!!! 🙂 In my mind it's kinda like a star…

  16. Manic_King Avatar

    Renault megane coupe with some spoilers

  17. tiberiuswise Avatar

    Easy. A black Mustang with the red LED in the hood. Wait, wrong re-make. Sorry.

  18. humblejanitor Avatar

    All they'd need to do is build a replica of a Delorean and they'd be all set.
    No Delorean = No Back To The Future!

    1. Hopman Avatar

      Agreed!!!!! The DeLorean is just as much a character as Doc Brown & Marty McFly.
      If they remake BttF WITHOUT one, I'll personally maime the Hollywood exec who greenlit it!

  19. muthalovin Avatar

    That is some hot Citron DS porn right there. Ohhh yeah.

  20. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    So, you're saying it should be remade as a horror movie?

  21. citroen67 Avatar

    I would have to say Mustang, only because a "Back to The Future Edition" Mustang is probably the only one that they haven't made yet.

    1. citroen67 Avatar

      My actual guess would have to be the "GTbyCitroen."

  22. crash bandihoon Avatar
    crash bandihoon

    Whoever is desperate for product placement. Perhaps a Chrysler Sebring?

  23. toebitus Avatar

    Delorean Solstice coupe

    1. wheeler Avatar

      Oh well, you get the general idea….

  24. Squozen Avatar

    A Tesla for the silence or a Hummer for the ‘you don’t seriously DRIVE that thing?’ factor.

  25. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    Both cars, incidentally, also appeared to be styled by intoxicated Soviets, so I can get behind this theory.

  26. Deborah Stabenow Avatar

    I never imagined I would have to be familiar with this thank goodness for the web

  27. Malcolm Goodwin Avatar
    Malcolm Goodwin

    The choice is now obvious… BMW i8.