google maps hooning

Hooniverse Asks: Have you ever found evidence of your hooning on a satellite map?

It was a little over two years ago that I first drove the Pioneer Ford F-150 Lightning Tribute out in west Georgia for an exclusive review. After some tame-ish driving on country roads near the dealership, I was taken to an empty corner of a small regional airport where I could freely burn tires and produce more scented white smoke than a Subaru meet. The results were glorious. As I was looking up the name of the airport on Google Maps, I just had to check on something.

Toggling satellite view revealed that my mark on that ramp was captured by the omnipotent Google satellites. It’s online and preserved for all to see… until they update their imagery. I was giggling like a child, just as I was while actually making those marks. There’s something particularly satisfying about having a moment like that captured by a satellite. It’s like making faces for the security camera monitors at Walmart.

Have you ever made your mark on a satellite map with some Grade A Hoonage? Whether it was expected or not, post up whatever you’ve been able to find from your friend’s wife’s daughter’s teacher’s brother’s uncle’s hooning session while they borrowed your car for a few hours in Mexico.

[Satellite imagery via Google | Smokey burnout imagery © 2019 Hooniverse/Greg Kachadurian]

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14 responses to “Hooniverse Asks: Have you ever found evidence of your hooning on a satellite map?”

  1. P161911 Avatar

    I can date satellite photos by the number and position of derelict vehicles on my property. Does that count?

  2. William Byrd Avatar

    I found myself on Bing Streetside once. If that’s still a thing.

  3. Spongebob Squareback Avatar
    Spongebob Squareback

    Does shared parking lot doodling from Autocross events count? 🙂
    While not directly related, this is worth noting. I may or may not have designed a bosses’ pool to look like a penis. This was in the splendor of pre-2008 reckless spending. It all started as a joke among myself and other designers after the company owner, and all-around-not-that-nice-dude, asked us to start working on designs for a pool at his house. We were pushing the envelope on how close to a penis we could shape the pool without him noticing. Apparently, he was not aware that envelopes existed, and we had to reign ourselves in for fear that someone else might call us out and get us in trouble. We finished the design exercise, and thought nothing more of it, given our bosses’ grand ideas that often did not materialize.

    A few months later, on my first day back to work after taking a week off to get married, I was laid off, being all but told that profits were just not at the level the owner wanted to see them at (he had an underling do the actual firing). I secured a (much better) job with a competing firm within the week, and my quality of life improved, as I worked to move on from my time working for Company X. It was a year later, while on some down time at work, I was exploring Google maps, and there I saw it, constructed in all of it’s phallic glory.

    Scottswood Court, Woodbine, MD. My finest work.

    I now work for a high-end custom pool firm, on the opposite side of the country, and I am TERRIFIED to tell them about this design.

    1. danleym Avatar

      That is amazing.

    2. fede Avatar

      I had to go and look for it, excellent work, 10/10.

    3. dead_elvis, inc. Avatar
      dead_elvis, inc.

      That is absolutely delightful!

      What’s the collective sense of humor like among your current employer’s leadership, particularly as applied to your industry? I could see this going over big at a place with the right sensibility.

      1. Spongebob Squareback Avatar
        Spongebob Squareback

        I feel like it could go either way. I like to think that they’d appreciate the humor of it, but I’m also concerned that they’d see it as a giant red flag. I’d rather happily keep my job. Plus, my current boss is honestly one of the most genuinely kind employers I’ve ever had.

    4. Monkey10is Avatar

      Claude-Nicolas Ledoux is impressed. His designs remained mostly unbuilt.

      View post on

  4. Zentropy Avatar

    I grew up in rural WV, where satellite imagery didn’t get updated very often. The “track” my sister and I wore into the field behind our house– from racing our homemade go-karts powered by motorcycle engines– stayed online for over 10 years.

    1. Vairship Avatar

      One of our dogs used to ward off marauding mailmen by running an oval in our yard while the mail(wo)man clanged the mailbox lids on the apartment building next door. The grass part of his oval was clearly visible on Google satellite view due to the grass being worn away, while the mulch part ended with a cool banked turn.
      The dog is fourteen years old now and almost deaf and the new mailman is less reliably at exactly noon, so the dog now just waits at the front gate until he can see him and does a circle in the driveway. The mailman knows him and greets him by name.

      Fourteen years and our house has never been attacked by marauding mailmen, so clearly his “mailman dance” is working!

  5. salguod Avatar

    I’ve shared this before, but my old 318ti was caught broke down on the side of the freeway by the street view car.

    It was just a failed fan and stop and go traffic causing high temps. Once traffic was moving, all was well.

  6. 0A5599 Avatar

    An Apple map car crossed my path as I was leaving the driveway from work one day. When traffic cleared, I chased the car down so I could be in view. Unfortunately, I don’t remember how far I went before I caught up, or which lane it was in when I got there, and after about 5 minutes of reviewing images frame-by-frame, I gave up.

    I did remember seeing the Apple car go by when I was at lunch, and found that certain angles show my car in the parking lot, but that isn’t honing.