Hooniversity- Pronunciation Edition

Things used to be simple back in the forties, toilet paper came in catalog form from Sears, everything was in black and white so it didn’t matter if your socks didn’t match, and cars had easy to pronounce names like Ford and. . . Ford. Today, it’s all different and cars come in a plethora of nameplates that require third-party manipulation of lip and tongue to pronounce- but Hooniverse is here to help.
There are a number of brands and car-related companies for which multiple pronunciations have developed. It’s not just regional dialects and accents, but mostly sloth that drives this, but that’s not to say it is uncorrectable. So let’s get started with an English brand, the owners of which get catty about how it’s pronounced.
Jaguar. While there are seemingly endless pronunciations, the brand is British and hence it should be pronounced  ja-gyu-wer – three syllables where the “g” is attached to the second and there is no hard “i” in the last. The etymology is from the Portuguese, from Tupi jawára meaning large carnivore, so that makes sense. Variations on the last syllable can be ‘ur’ or ‘ar’ as the mood strikes, but two syllables and infusing the name with the hard ‘i’ are right out.
Porsche. The German maker of sports cars has, for years, had its name mangled. As it’s not just a brand, but a family name, that’s especially egregious. While many who strive to own a Porsche for its magnetism to the opposite sex feel it’s perfectly acceptable to say PORSH, those who strive for correctness and reverence to the marque know to say Por-sha, with a soft ‘a’ at the end. Leave off that soft ‘a’ and you might as well be wearing a silk shirt open to the navel and gold chain with a razor blade on the end.
Renault. Many people are too young to even remember when this French brand was sold in the U.S.. Back then, most Americans pronounced the name RAY-NALT, or REE-NALT, when they weren’t cursing the cars for having broken down. The correct pronunciation is Ray-know as in, My ray-know wouldn’t start this morning, or Does this bumper belong to your ray-know? It fell off about a mile back. Some day the brand might once again be sold in the states, so it’s best to be prepared.
Bertone. Few realize that the legendary design house built cars, much less sold them under their own name. In the 1980s, after Fiat had abandoned the U.S. market, Bertone continued sales of the X1/9 targa under its own brand. These rebranded Fiats fooled no one, and Bertone was unable to sell enough to keep the venture alive. Aside from that, Bertone designed hundreds of iconic cars and it’s a good idea to be able to properly pronounce it if you should ever come across one at a car show or Tim Horton parking lot. Much like Porsche, Bertone has an active vowel at the end. It should be pronounced Bear-tone-ay, and not bur-tone. Again, it’s European so it has more syllables than Americans are typically used to.
So that’s enough for today, I’m sure your heads are swimming with this much knowedge! Next time we’ll warm up the kim-chee and will look at some Korean brands that can sprain a tongue.
Image sources:[fritzless.com, automobilesdeluxe.tv, Autoblog.com, CPV Performance, Cartype.com]