The word “epic” is frequently overused to describe things that aren’t necessarily, as Merriam-Webster defines, “a long narrative poem in elevated style recounting the deeds of a legendary or historical hero.” I mean, hell, thanks to the Internet it’s been used to define everything from sandwiches to bucket-wheel mobile strip mining machinery. What’s the fun in that? Is Gilgamesh scarfing down a bacon and egg grinder the size of Ishtar herself before defeating the Bagger 288 in the strip mines of Tagebau Garzweiler? Hell no. And I’m pretty sure the preceding sentence has never been uttered (or typed) in the whole of human history.
But this Hoonicast, however, finds itself more in line with Wagner’s Götterdämmerung than any mere hour of nonsensical gasoline-scented rambling. We embark on a heroic, meandering, booze-filled quest that spans the subjects of British motorcycles, tipping Reliants, Nickelback, salacious gossip about Andy Didorosi, smuggling ammunition from the Great White North, the importance of putting water pumps in dishwashers, old Car and Driver issues, pool tables fashioned from or inside Datsuns, Amber’s amazing Secret NinjaClaus gift that we’ve finally gotten around to and also puts the rest of ours to shame, and our wonderful lack of pants. Also, I order a pizza made by a vending machine.

Join Alex Kierstein, Blake Z. Rong, Mitch Bell, Jason Davis, Jim Brennan, Amber, and special guest Count Dooku Christopher Lee—an innocent young boy whose life was tragically changed forever by the crippling disease known as Peugeotitis, for which there is no known cure and whose medication changed parts numbers a decade ago. We may have had a theme at one point, but it temporarily escaped the chroniclers’ minds. Oh, and somebody bought a Honda. Big whoop.
Image source: [Laura Gibbs]