Hooked on Phonics, J-Body Edition

Hey, those aren't dent-resistant body panels…

Salutation Brah/Madam!
I am Jimmy-John Buchanan, righting you on behaff of my late uncle, Prince Bubba-Joe Buchanan of 909erstan. My uncle bekweathed to me his large collecshun of exceedingly avridge late model cars and lifted trucks. As I am currently paying off a second mortgage for a tattoo of a pit bull wrapped in barbed wire which covers my entire back, I cannot afford to keep this collecshin of Saterns, Mitsoobeshes, Akyuhruhs and Ford FISOs and FZSOs. Therefore, I am selling them to lucky peeple like you at deep discownts. Please to be sending a valid bank account number and mailing address to the above email address so I can send you a full list of the vehicles. Thanks and have a blessed day, dawg.
Jimmy-John Buchanan
P.S.-Limp Bizkit rulez!
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Hat tip to our very own Braff!

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    Wonderful journey and experience.