Former Hooniverse Craigslist Find Headed to LeMons, Police Already Involved

Back in March, we featured this pair of e12-series 528s for sale down here in SoCal, agonizing over their similarity to our own e12-based 633csi, but a lack of storage for two more cars. Luckily, aspiring LeMons pauper racer and Hooniverse commenter Brian put together a crew and pulled the trigger.
We’ve been going back and forth over the cars and themes. As it turns out, one of the cars was a little short on compression, so they’ve got one good car and one donor, and they just managed to get the good car up and running. Running so well, in fact, that Brian got himself in a bit of trouble.

As he tells it,

We finally got the e12 mechanically sorted on Saturday morning so I decided it’d be a good idea to spend a couple hours wringing it out around our company’s empty parking lot. The old sun-crackled tires made it easy to drift around the four right-angled turns of our “test track.” As you can see in the attached, the Po-Po took exception to my more-than-a-dab-of-oppo shenanigans. Shockingly, this was the first time a police officer ever put me in handcuffs. My teammates came around the building too late to get a picture of me in bracelets but we did stage this image while they were deciding what to do with me. I had sort of a sinking feeling when I drifted around the back corner a saw the cop coming in the front driveway through the side window (nudge, nudge) but I was fortunate enough to only get a warning in lieu of the potential “reckless driving on private property” charge.

They’ve got a clever theme coming up that spoofs BMW’s “Frozen Gray” special edition M3. Namely, they’ll be a special slate gray. As in chalkboard slate. As in, write “I will use locking compound on my guibo bolts” 100 times chalkboard.
Brian and Co. will make their debut appearance at Buttonwillow in December. We can’t wait to get at their spare parts see them there!

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25 responses to “Former Hooniverse Craigslist Find Headed to LeMons, Police Already Involved”

  1. muthalovin Avatar

    When did drifting in your employers packing lot become frowned upon?!?

  2. PFG Avatar

    Somewhere, the ghost of Werner (the E12 in my avatar) is smiling.

  3. P161911 Avatar

    That could take all the fun out of most autocrosses.

  4. Timothy Odell Avatar
    Timothy Odell

    There's many a traffic-lawyer employed disputing the law regarding traffic laws on private property.
    Stuff like this, running a stop-sign in a lot, hitting a car in a lot, etc etc.
    Varies from state-to-state (and likely courtroom-to-courtroom).

  5. K5ING Avatar

    That's his wife's fault. The average successful bank robbery is over in 5 minutes. Tell her to be faster next time.

  6. discontinuuity Avatar

    The Mormon church parking lot near my parents' house is the best for snow drifting (it's shaped like a figure-8). Unfortunately there always seems to be some sort of service going on there.

    1. Alff Avatar

      Mormons have no problem with hoonage – just don't expect any coffee with your donuts.

    2. CptSevere Avatar

      I can completely relate to that, as my first remembered hoonage occurred in a Mo Church parking lot in Pleasant Grove, Utah. Well, it was on dry pavement, but it was a gigantic Stake Center parking lot (bigger than a normal church, think headquarters for about five corporate franchises). I was "testing the parameters" of my folks' '69 Toronado, saw the cylindrical speedo reach like 75, pulled it off scot free. Not too bad for a fourteen year old who had no business behind the wheel of that car. Of course, I went to church there, lived next door to all that tempting pavement (and had ridden his skateboard over every inch of it), and knew the place would be abandoned at 7 in the morning on Saturday. Timing is everything.

  7. Texan_Idiot25 Avatar

    As far as I know, in TX the property owners have the final say. However, you can do burnouts in your driveway, and the police can't bother you. You're on your own private property.

  8. LTDScott Avatar

    I know who that is, and the parking lot where this photo was taken is about 2 blocks from my house 🙂

  9. engineerd Avatar

    Australia is notorious for their anti-hooning laws. We have the same thing here, just without the spiffy name.

  10. BrianTheHoon Avatar

    That's "Frozen Slate Special Edition," Tim. It's important that we keep the details right for our memoirs.
    In other news, we're turning this whole il-advised enterprise into a fund raiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. We have a colleague whose 5 year-old son is suffering through leukemia now and one of my co-drivers recently lost a friend to that horrible disease. Our team name is "Lapping for Leukemia" and we'll be taking pledges on a per-lap basis (like a walk-a-thon).
    Our website is: wwwDOTlappingforleukemiaDOTcom. It's just placeholder content now.
    EDIT: Go there … especially if you're feeling generous!

    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      you can put the correct URL, it's ok

    2. LTDScott Avatar

      Are they both still sitting next to the Mitchell Building on Carroll Canyon?

  11. BrianTheHoon Avatar

    I thought we'd be fine, too. I even saw the narc on his phone to the cops and thought, "meh, I'm good." It seems that (in CA at least) reckless driving on private property comes into play if there is no barrier (even a temp one) in front of the public access points. If our company had card readers/lift gates at the entrances: no big deal.
    The cops were cool about the whole thing, really. They had a real hard time maintaining that "cop serious" facade. The more questions they asked, the more my answers had them stifling laughter.

    1. name_too_long Avatar

      I wonder if some cones and rope would be sufficient?
      If so, I'd put 'em up and do it again just to piss Mr(s). pansy-ass-calls-the-cops-for-no-bloody-reason off. Make sure to tune the exhaust to ~0.5db below the legal limit beforehand

      1. BrianTheHoon Avatar

        According to the cops, “a couple saw horses with a rope across the driveways” would suffice. Funny you should mention noise; we were running completely uncorked and noise wasn't even mentioned during our “interaction” with the law. 🙂

  12. BrianTheHoon Avatar

    They're still here. The brown one looks rather forlorn up on blocks, though. Blue is sittin' pretty since we cut a loop off of all four springs. An amazing difference in handling, even with the same old chapped tires!

    1. LTDScott Avatar

      I deleted my first post and moved it under yours, heh. Matt told me about your car a while ago. My LeMons BMW is parked in my garage about a mile from your office.

      1. BrianTheHoon Avatar

        You're that close? Man, I want to stop by and check out Prickstine in the metal sometime. The pictures I've seen look epic!

        1. LTDScott Avatar

          Yup, I live just down the street from the Vons on Scripps Ranch Blvd. You're welcome to come by and take a look. In fact this weekend we're having a team weekend where several of my team mates are coming down to do some work on the car.

  13. MattC Avatar

    When I was in Law Enforcement, there was only two offenses we could charge on Private property: 1) Driving While Intoxicated and 2) Reckless Driving. So be careful when hooning a vehicle in a business park.

  14. Alff Avatar

    You know, from that angle you don't look at all like Hunter Thompson. Good on you for the acquisition, though. It's nice to have something other to post about than the family minivan, eh?

    1. BrianTheHoon Avatar

      And I can't party like HST from any angle – not that I haven't tried in the past 😉
      And, yes, while I'll still defend the utility of my wife's T&C and am not yet bored by my Fusion, it is really nice to once again bloody the odd knuckle and get elbow-deep in grease. It's been a while and I'm really enjoying the hell out of it. It's so gratifying to see this heap coming back to life. Since I'm a LeMons virgin, I'm straight up giddy thinking about Buttonwillow in December!

      1. Alff Avatar

        If you're so inclined, I'd like to hear your perspective on the LeMons application process. I assume, given its growing popularity, that there is a fair bit of competition amongst new teams, particularly at an established LeMons venue.