Craigslist Crapshoot

Robert Emslie

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The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. Your search last week was to find cars with Suicide Doors, and hopefully talk them out of making any rash decisions. We’ll open the door on the most bass-akwards winner in  a moment, but first this week’s challenge!

They say all work and no play makes for a dull boy, and maybe even girl. Still, if you want to bring home the bacon, you’re going to need to get some work done, and it always makes it a lot easier when you have a good work truck. That’s what I want you to find this week – specifically that bastion of the delivery business, the Step Van. Find us the best and the worst of those lane blockers, with an added bonus if you can find one that’s been customized in any way.

And, as usual, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Follow any of the following advice and you’re crap will be known far and wide.

  1. Easiest way to not get caught in the spam filters is to create an IntenseDebate account. If you do so and your posts aren’t appearing, let us know at tips@hooniverse.info and we can put you on the whitelist
  2. If you don’t want an IDC account, you can create a wordpress.com account and do the same thing.
  3. If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link
Craigslist Crapshoot doesn’t work if your candidates don’t get seen, so hopefully following one of these options will ensure that the floodgates of crap are fully open. Let’s see last week’s gate crasher right after the jump.
It’s amazing how many customizers have sought to personalize their rides by fitting them with suicide doors. They are a lot harder a conversion to make than the seemingly ubiquitous Lambo doors so kudos to the crazy ones.
 
But it’s the factory backwards doors that in the end are the most amazing. That’s because they were engineered in from the get-go, and hence their presentation is often far more elegant and better integrated. mdharrell found us a 1933 Ford v8 project that has not one, not two, not even three, but four suicide doors, making it the most suicidal of them all. At least I think that’s a ’33 V8, although the hood vents don’t look right to me. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch the actual ad before it expired, but here’s mdharrell’s post so you can bask in its multi-dimensional doordom and can decide for yourself. Mid week mystery car!
 
Well done, mdharrell!
 
CC fourdoor
Image source: Hooniverse

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Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

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55 responses to “Craigslist Crapshoot”

  1. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    Not an entry, just crap (these are all shots of the same car):
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00F0F_gBmGybTra86_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00H0H_icju8dITGOP_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00505_4oKP1T0beua_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    Quoth the Craigslister: "86 Buick Regal fully custom 6.0 ls1 with 4L60E trans, Mustang dash, Maxima Heated Seats, 26 inch rims, new suspension, hid euro lights, Side mirror blinkers and more"
    Ls1 Buick Regal on 26 Inch Rims
    <a href="http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3991973018.html” target=”_blank”>http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3991973018.html

    Reply
    1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
      FuzzyPlushroom

      I'd gladly drive it on period 15×7 mags and with the headlights fixed, but… as is, wow.

      Reply
    2. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      I am… speechless.

      Reply
  2. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    It looks like all the step vans got bought up by those goddamn food-truck hippies in Austin.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00Z0Z_dQU9om7BRli_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    1984 chevy step van – $5500
    <a href="http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3985467797.html” target=”_blank”>http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3985467797.html

    Reply
    1. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat Avatar
      C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

      The ambitious ones came north to D/FW, too…

      Reply
  3. mdharrell Avatar
    mdharrell

    Thanks! The red car is a '34 Plymouth. I should have anticipated that such a suicidal ad would quickly expire.

    Reply
  4. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Are those slotted mags? I would so rock this…
    ———-
    AMG Postal Van or Ice Cream truck FOR SALE!! – $2500 (Big Bear Resort)
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00t0t_clAyLu9yqP9_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    http://westky.craigslist.org/cto/3959479971.html

    Reply
    1. cruisintime Avatar
      cruisintime

      Who among us has not yearned for his own fully stocked ice cream truck?

      Reply
      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        Except that this one isn't quite fully stocked…even freezer equipped. It's only an ice cream truck "in potentia." But it would be a great motorcycle parts chaser without the freezer.

        Reply
    2. acarr260 Avatar
      acarr260

      Ran when parked?

      Reply
    3. FЯeeMan Avatar
      FЯeeMan

      Its an AMG, so that means it's hotted up, right? That doesn't with well with ice cream

      Reply
  5. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick ★

    "Restored 1972 Chevy Step Van. PERFECT FOR FOOD TRUCK!"
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01111_bIALS8OV3Nq_600x450.jpg&quot; width="500">
    I do have to admit… it's pretty clean.
    <a href="http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/cto/3998371241.html” target=”_blank”>http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/cto/3998371241.html

    Reply
    1. muthalovin Avatar
      muthalovin

      "Murica!

      Reply
      1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
        Scandinavian Flick ★

        Fuck yeah!

        Reply
        1. dukeisduke Avatar
          dukeisduke

          The paint, the wheels – AWESOME!

          Reply
  6. wisc47 Avatar
    wisc47

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3rf3K83Me5Nc5q85J4d7fa4841cdbc01f18db.jpg"&gt;
    Here is an '86 International Step Van. It doesn't seem much different than anything else out there, I just thought it was funny they were selling it with the graffiti still on. <a href="http://madison.craigslist.org/cto/3938415469.html” target=”_blank”>http://madison.craigslist.org/cto/3938415469.html

    Reply
    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      But it's minimalist graffiti!

      Reply
  7. I Think Not Avatar
    I Think Not

    Whew! I'm glad I got to this one quickly, because there's an awesome one in the KC listings at the moment: a 1951 Ford Step Van!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00Z0Z_gHjG0KDowud_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/ctd/3995848887.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/ctd/3995848887.html

    Reply
    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      That…is…EPIC.

      Reply
    2. cruisintime Avatar
      cruisintime

      Rides like a tank,piston slapping-rod knocking and starts hard hot or cold. Sounds good to me.

      Reply
    3. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      I have absolutely no use for that but would still love to have it.

      Reply
  8. acarr260 Avatar
    acarr260

    This one is pretty cute (and cheap). 1966 Chevy step van:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00303_2ifwNAh8Hp9_600x450.jpg&quot; width=500>
    Ad link: <a href="http://denver.craigslist.org/cto/3975654182.html” target=”_blank”>http://denver.craigslist.org/cto/3975654182.html

    Reply
    1. racer139 Avatar
      racer139

      That looks similar to the one in the movie six pack.

      Reply
  9. acarr260 Avatar
    acarr260

    This one has already been customized into a food truck. Who here is good at baking pies?!
    1960 "Vintage" step van:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01515_92tyebhZqi4_600x450.jpg&quot; width="500/">
    Ad link: http://denver.craigslist.org/cto/3977323796.html

    Reply
    1. cruisintime Avatar
      cruisintime

      My sarcastic side immediately thought a very different "Pie".

      Reply
      1. acarr260 Avatar
        acarr260

        A mobile house of ill repute?! That seems like a way more profitable venture.

        Reply
  10. I Think Not Avatar
    I Think Not

    This one's a stretch, because it started life as a school bus with a distinctly step-vannish front end, but has since been converted to that most wonderful of purposes: a Taqueria on wheels!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00202_bmA2m8Q8n1o_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3980492542.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3980492542.html

    Reply
    1. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      Everything scrawled on that bus sounds delicious.

      Reply
    2. LTDScott Avatar
      LTDScott

      The Taco Bus in Seattle is cooler, although it is not mobile.
      <img src="http://b5media_b4.s3.amazonaws.com/29/files/2008/03/taco-bus.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
  11. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Scary clowns not included.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00808_8JskHq7yrr1_600x450.jpg"width=500&gt; <a href="http://greenville.craigslist.org/cto/3917407397.html” target=”_blank”>http://greenville.craigslist.org/cto/3917407397.html

    Reply
  12. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Only 398,000 miles.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00H0H_9gGQz20B3bw_600x450.jpg"width=500&gt; http://atlanta.craigslist.org/eat/cto/3923637540….
    I din't know FedEx let trucks go. I know UPS crushes theirs to protect brand identity.

    Reply
  13. JayP2112 Avatar
    JayP2112

    Nice truck but has this whole John Wayne Gacy meets Saw vibe to it.
    On the upside, it has two giant freezers and a pickle rack. http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/cto/3939233938.h…
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00v0v_3UfBhnLyFes_600x450.jpg&quot; width="300">
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00707_flEJJejgLhx_600x450.jpg&quot; width="300">

    Reply
    1. dead_elvis Avatar
      dead_elvis

      "the power steering is manual"

      Reply
  14. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Too bad this one doesn't have a picture. http://greenville.craigslist.org/cto/3983270915.h…
    1942 Diamond T Delivery Van
    It probably looks something like this: <img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_KcD7_F-cHA/TzFPEGq66_I/AAAAAAAAGEk/gzAJckGtjoE/s400/1938-international-harvester-d-range-panel-van-570×385.jpg"width=500&gt; But MUCH worse.

    Reply
  15. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    The fact that this shorty '87 Chevy is a diesel isn't all that unusual. What this guy is willing to accept in trade for it is.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00h0h_6NqYoSM0MbQ_600x450.jpg&quot; />
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/cto/3978430245.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/cto/3978430245.html

    Reply
    1. fodder650 Avatar
      fodder650

      Really bitcoins? Well that's new.

      Reply
  16. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    Oh man, this thing is RAD. A mobile workshop with sleeping accommodations (which I'm sure are just as nice as the ones found at any Super 8).
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3r23F73J25I75F45t2d7c6b7c9ef16eca13df.jpg&quot; />
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/3932065343.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/3932065343.html

    Reply
  17. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    Finally: OH. EM. GEE. A mobile boutique! This is, like, the greatest step van evurrrrrrrrrrrr!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00W0W_9lgrtTLswwZ_600x450.jpg&quot; />
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/cto/3986659845.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/cto/3986659845.html

    Reply
  18. fodder650 Avatar
    fodder650

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00O0O_3T3qvL2Up4Q_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600/">
    Check out the nose of this thing. That would make it epic if it wasn't for the interior.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00v0v_2ZUIJJeHItv_600x450.jpg&quot; width="500/">
    Roseanne don't put out your red light please. I mean wow that is some seriously eighties neon there.
    Further do you know the term that the drivers seat is his office. Now lets take that literally.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00505_62lbTqBYSBn_600x450.jpg&quot; width="500">
    All this for $6500 http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/cto/3995005775…

    Reply
    1. Neen85 Avatar
      Neen85

      Roxanne had the red light.
      Roseanne was downgraded to the orange light at the 'other' side of town.

      Reply
  19. MVEilenstein Avatar
    MVEilenstein

    A quick trip to Victoria would be fun . . .
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00K0K_gdZK9Tj9gWn_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://victoria.en.craigslist.ca/cto/3938545925.html” target=”_blank”>http://victoria.en.craigslist.ca/cto/3938545925.html

    Reply
  20. joshuman Avatar
    joshuman

    A 1962 Commer camper. It has a step but might not be exactly a step van. http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/cto/3995111647….
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00C0C_4v4Qm7QhwjL_600x450.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. Vairship Avatar
      Vairship

      How did mdharrell not buy this already? Too much space, pace and grace?

      Reply
  21. OA5599 Avatar
    OA5599

    The other step van nominees don't have nearly enough steps.
    <img src="http://constructionequipmentssale.com/resim/-qantas-mobile-stairs-trucks-_4.jpg?size=thumb&quot; width=500>
    http://constructionequipmentssale.com/qantas-mobi…
    Description
    Trucks with mobile stairs (QANTAS)
    3.85m high collapsed
    2.6m wide
    In working condition
    As is where is.
    $6000 + gst or nearest offer (each)
    3 with stairs available, 1 without available

    Reply
    1. DonFehlio Avatar
      DonFehlio

      Will I be the first to say it?
      Will I?
      Watch out….
      for hop-ons.

      Reply
  22. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    This one counts, right?
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/14/2/433/477/72_1450159842_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    Since I now have posted something van-ish, let me go offtopic without being exposed to the iron fist of digression. I send this Chuck Miller Sportwagon Corvette to BaT yesterday, but I have to show it to you guys, too. I have never heard of the man, but this was his car until 1988, and it has been in Norway since 2002. Featured in Car & Driver 1972 and in other publications since. It is the first Corvette that I really have to look at twice…something is right about this custom vehicle.
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/13/8/433/416/98_1198401389_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/13/8/433/416/98_655022730_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/13/8/433/416/98_1268875254_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    A guy I know said this one reminds him of Harold and Maude. I had to correct him.
    <img src="http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/9058/woa0.jpg&quot; width="600">

    Reply
  23. mac350 Avatar
    mac350

    They want $4k for this van – thats a lot of bread.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kd3s53J95E65q85Jfd735e9a5b53bd271c14.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://fayar.craigslist.org/cto/3911498885.html
    Thats a lot of beef. or is that bull.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01313_3zEoo2Fg4S5_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://joplin.craigslist.org/cto/3985431179.ht
    This is one long 20 foot interior step van. Would make a great race car hauler.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00K0K_2Mir0Kd6HF3_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3992727487.h…

    Reply
  24. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    H Van is French for Step Van
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTE5NVgxNjAw/z/YQoAAOxymnFSC2D6/$(KGrHqYOKosFILCW8BBjBSC2D5f3rg~~60_35.JPG"&gt;
    On the Bay of E

    Reply
  25. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    How about an ice cream truck with a 350hp LS-X motor?
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00505_1Ct5Ub9ksqj_600x450.jpg"width=500&gt; <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3998690702.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3998690702.html

    Reply
  26. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Just another step van. But this one is a FIAT DIESEL?!?!? In Jasper, GA
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00Z0Z_75aTDDRjEhD_600x450.jpg"width=500&gt; <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3989834820.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3989834820.html

    Reply
  27. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    This one has white walls, and white everything else.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00I0I_63LwVhP4a9D_600x450.jpg&quot; width="500/"> <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/cto/3904174770.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/cto/3904174770.html

    Reply
    1. cruisintime Avatar
      cruisintime

      Then there is the ancient sun baked masking tape.
      Bring a fresh box of razor blades for this one.

      Reply
  28. RahRahRecords Avatar
    RahRahRecords

    not a step van, but
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00C0C_jfNthUBAucH_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    Tubbed Pro Street Astro Van!!!!!!!!!!!!???? <a href="http://myrtlebeach.craigslist.org/cto/3987155039.html” target=”_blank”>http://myrtlebeach.craigslist.org/cto/3987155039.html

    Reply
  29. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat Avatar
    C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

    I've gotta admit, the interior of this one gives me…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    …puts on sunglasses…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    …wood.
    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00s0s_6kZEaxNoG6h_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3938815370.html” target=”_blank”>http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3938815370.html

    Reply
  30. humblejanitor Avatar
    humblejanitor

    I think it's sad how many of these step vans were owned by (I assume) failed businesses.
    Competition has got to be rough out there in food truck territory.
    Just ask Philadelphia Collins (RIP).

    Reply