By Robert Emslie
Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. For last week’s challenge I asked you to say J-Day-Um, and find us some ads for Japanese sedans that came with DOHC engines. The Rising Sun nation raised a slew of such beasts, and we’ll find the brightest one right after the jump. But first, this week’s quest!
You know you should look both ways before crossing a street. Some cars also offer points of egress that are equally harrowing. Those are the cars I want this week. That’s right I want Suicide Doors. They say that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Well, I want all those problem children.
And, as usual, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Follow any of the following advice and you’re crap will be known far and wide.
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- If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link
Jeff Glucker
Six 12' woofers
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00i0i_9CluG4YrMeh_600x450.jpg" width="600">
<a href="http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/cto/3978588785.html” target=”_blank”>http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/cto/3978588785.html
Dayum, son. That's 72 feet of woofers!
I've done the math and that's enough bass to fill 3-3/7 football fields!
Math is hard.
And hes asking 22000 for it! what the hell is wrong with caprice owners these days?
Low hanging fruit: http://akroncanton.craigslist.org/cto/3953438716….
Love the old Lincolns!
1967 Chevelle El Camino. http://denver.craigslist.org/cto/3973107365.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00000_6h6yd1NW01I_600x450.jpg"width="500"/>
Whhhhhhyyyyyy?
Thin air in Denver……..not enough oxygen to the brain.
Do the rear doors on the RX8s count? This one is "SEXIFIED"!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00o0o_aw1qkSFaV9G_600x450.jpg">
<a href="http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cto/3979577205.html” target=”_blank”>http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cto/3979577205.html
If so, then bring on the Saturn Ion!!!
Also a number of full/extended cab trucks.
Maybe it's best not to stretch that definition too much…
Yeah, technically these are called clamshell doors.
But… but… SEXIFIED….
That add is all f*¢¿£d up. Ive had this car for a year and a half, later on it mentions it has given him years of service. Also screws holding the rear bumper cover on and red covering everything man.
This 70 Ford Thunderbird needs some love…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01616_5n7k2RDbTo9_600x450.jpg">
<a href="http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3944873500.html” target=”_blank”>http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3944873500.html
You can be sure the blister in the center of the hood is from a little fire. Still,a big block Ford for $1250. is not bad.
I love the Beak Birds. And those wheelcovers later appeared on the Mercury Grand Marquis, only with different centers.
They appeared on Aussie Fairlanes and LTDs too.
<img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7273/7708278846_4f8bf76497_z.jpg" width="650/">
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/58/Ford_ZK_Fairlane_1.JPG/800px-Ford_ZK_Fairlane_1.JPG" width="650/">
In my 42 years, this is the first time I've ever seen this model.
Or maybe I blocked it out.
talk about lead sleds..this one is already down..
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00U0U_1btIvfxCtB1_600x450.jpg" width="500">
All four doors are suicide. As a bonus, so is the project.
http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/cto/3972769224….
3250$ is a bit stiff. I guess the "250" are his bargaining margin? Still, when I see a vehicle like this, I immediately start dreaming about putting it on a modern chassis with a moderately powerful engine – and driving the thing to kindergarden and work. And back. What's wrong with me…?
Not enough garage space?
For starters, definitely.
=8^)
I certainly don't disapprove, but just how many starters do you have, anyway?
Haha, way too many!
Wrong Lincoln…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01717_fNpVtDau04r_600x450.jpg" width="500">
<a href="http://monterey.craigslist.org/cto/3975369194.html” target=”_blank”>http://monterey.craigslist.org/cto/3975369194.html
What is wrong with this picture?
1973 Beetle with suicide doors and 17" wheels.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3t93Kd3s15Ga5K55Fbd69d519e7e396fe146c.jpg" width=500>
He wants $15k for the custom Bug… and I don't think his wall 'o trophies comes with the car.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3r63I93qb5sa5qa5tad69c1e122ea8b5b1928.jpg" width=500>
Link: http://cnj.craigslist.org/cto/3860311486.html
Most likely the trophies came from craigslist and garage sales.
Custom Audi A8L for $35k – don't worry, he has double that invested.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00y0y_2SqUvTPGGU0_600x450.jpg" width=500>
There has to be a Detroit joke in here somewhere: http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/cto/3969227106….
You could buy (several) entire blocks in Detroit for $35K:
http://oldsmobuickranwhenparked.blogspot.com/2013…
Either one seems like a suspect purchase. I guess you could at least grow something on land in Detroit. Who wants to start a co-op?!
Jeebus… and I thought the newer Audi grilles were bad….
It looks like it would slide and dice anything that gets near it. I just looked closer at that image – what is that in the background with Lambo doors?! It looks like something that left the factory as a Charger…
That is indeed what's left of a Charger. Looking at what apparently comes out of that shop, I fear the fate of that Mini, as well as that currently clean looking mid-60s Malibu, and what I think is an Impala or Caprice….
1947 Dodge Special Deeeeeeluxe
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/$(KGrHqZ,!l!FFy,VkCGEBReG-NqkBQ~~48_20.JPG" width="600">
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/$T2eC16h,!zEE9s3!Z)4OBReH!EJ6)!~~48_20.JPG" width="600">
<a href="http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=478071316” target=”_blank”>http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=478071316
Or this Custom Chev!
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDAzWDYwNA==/$(KGrHqVHJE!FH,YHy3yhBR8n35LZMQ~~48_20.JPG" width="600">
<a href="http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=507484938” target=”_blank”>http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=507484938
It looks like it's straight out of Mini Truckin' magazine. Was the mission behind this build to make everything that opened originally now open in a new and inventive manner?! I bet the glove box opens sideways.
Finally, someone did THIS to an 88 Toyota pickup.
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzUwWDEwMDA=/$T2eC16F,!zEE9s3!(JH8BR9Qy-Pfq!~~48_20.JPG" width="600">
PS. They are only asking TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. <a href="http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=507993196” target=”_blank”>http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=507993196
As we used to say, "You're on drugs, man!"
Everything on the classic cars section of kijiji Nova Scotia is overpriced!
In an effort to bring up the level of classiness that my last two options were lacking, I give you a 1949 Jag with suicide doors for an undisclosed sum of money (if you have to ask…)
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Id3J93N75Lc5I75rdd6r2897ed7371231f3a.jpg" width=500>
Link: http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/cto/3899689543….
What, no Continentals yet? Hoons, I am disappoint!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3r53s63q85G55s95t5d6j396dec30b5e710cc.jpg">
Bonus, this one, while clean, is a bit questionably styled. Nothing from which it cannot be brought back, though.
<a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3870822984.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3870822984.html
The second post was a Continental. Just a link though, so I can see how you missed it. Don't worry, our hoon cred is still intact. 😉
I did kinda fall in love with this one a bit…
<img src="http://oi42.tinypic.com/kcc8pi.jpg">
<a href="http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3981306317.html” target=”_blank”>http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3981306317.html
Ah, see — I only scan. Ain't nobody got time for posters who refuse to post images!
I think not.
I like this one…a lot! Tastefully done with enough rake to look fun.
Continentals are the most obvious answer… and 90% of the results for "suicide" on craigslist auto ads, so I think we would consider those low-hanging fruit. That being said, I've now looked at more ads for Continentals today than I have in total in my life prior to today. Now I want to airbag one and drop in a monster turbo diesel…
Yes, I suppose they are, since they're relatively common and had the rear-hinged doors for so many years.
Still, I love them. Love them something awful. Have you seen Dax Sheppard's Continental? It's a beast, and I'd love to have something similar, although I'd want some sort of monstrous 4-spd manual instead of the C6 auto.
http://www.popularhotrodding.com/features/1212phr…
And here's one of those can-we-just-forget-that-was-made, awkwardly-proportioned 4-dr Thunderbirds.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01616_3LClJNzdA4F_600x450.jpg">
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3983843747.h…
I genuinely love these T-Birds, but then again I can have odd tastes.
Oh, it "runs and drives", does it? And when might be the last time it actually did so?
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00202_d3cN9FOcVgt_600x450.jpg">
<a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3925420688.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3925420688.html
Wow, a running flathead V6. That would make it extremely rare. Why can't people understand that a straight 6 is NOT a V6? Always loved the chrome on the '42 Chryslers though. Cool find!
It's the same curse that infects many non-enthusiast BMW owners.
Curiously, I snapped a photo of an "enthusiast"-owned BMW at a car show who also suffered from this ignoramousness, coupled with the popular misconception that the end of the speedometer also indicates the top speed achievable by the car (if that were the case, my Odyssey could also do 160!)
<img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-yryERyymW08/UeG5XTpme0I/AAAAAAAAIDA/HF_XqbR2J2I/w705-h529-no/P7130199.JPG">
<img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-QPWLswUQ630/UeG5XLAeFjI/AAAAAAAAIJ8/ie_SPf75wo4/w608-h810-no/P7130200.JPG">
I believe ignorance and tastelessness had a child, who then owned this car. I no longer want my eyes…
I remember the interior was the best, you should show that too.
Whenever I hear the term "inline v6," I immediately think of possibly the only engine that could be considered such; the VW VR6.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/1UwRlGC.jpg" width="500">
Aaand brought to you by the company that, not content with an inline-5 like those feckin' trolls got, hacked off a cylinder and gave the world the asymetrical VR5!
When one searches for the keyword "suicide" in CL By-owner, there's a small chance of a sad story.
Two Thunderbirds, both evidently owned by the same man who just couldn't deal with life anymore, for sale by his widow
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ff3Jf3s25Eb5s15ted686b554f115de41ff7.jpg">
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3857112783.h…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Lf3Fc3J65Kd5q35tad680349763530fc1098.jpg">
<a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3857113543.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3857113543.html
Way too real.
I put this up out of sympathy for the woman. If I'm going to start collecting downvotes for it, I'll delete the post.
Suicide doors are for passengers, right? In the rear, where mother-in-laws are located, right? Soviet ones, drinking hard, disappearing quickly, right?
1955 Moskovich, really just an upgraded Opel Kadett from a stolen German factory. This car is slow with its 1 litre engine, but an historical oddity that is worth preserving. This is a package of a nice, redone and painted car with upgraded cooling, and one vehicle that is a bit closer to the Hooniverse ideal driving condition™. He just calls that one "parts car".
<img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_1303132431_xl.jpg" width="600">
<img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_1246818259_xl.jpg" width="600">
<img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_1197579112_xl.jpg" width="600">
<img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_523024953_xl.jpg" width="600">
(You can see from the detailing that the guy appears to consider the parts car way more interesting. I like that.)
That is some hood ornament on that flashy one. Wonder if this guy has a hauling story as well.
You're right – but I have no idea what that is. Looks outsized considering the size, origin and market position position of this car.
How about a '39 Ford?
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzUwWDEwMDA=/$T2eC16NHJHoFGlW(rpFBBRtnYj(!uQ~~48_20.JPG" width="500">
I like the odd styling
Here's a few within driving distance of the house. I don't like kit cars but the Gazelle has suicide doors. The Mercury is very tempting. I didn't know they had rear sucide doors. I was familiar with the coupe but not the 4door.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00o0o_fZmTLNi5q0l_600x450.jpg" width="600"> http://springfield.craigslist.org/cto/3956326234….
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01111_c38ByNF2IDF_600x450.jpg" width="600"> http://tulsa.craigslist.org/cto/3976973392.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00E0E_6LCDNZ0B99R_600x450.jpg" width="600"> http://fayar.craigslist.org/cto/3959619922.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00t0t_2pX2ZSedPx6_600x450.jpg" width="600"> <a href="http://fayar.craigslist.org/cto/3975164787.html” target=”_blank”>http://fayar.craigslist.org/cto/3975164787.html
Where are all these hot rods coming from – 1921 Model T coupe for $20,000
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3t53N53H85L25r75t4d79f789800d85c11d5d.jpg" width="600"> http://springfield.craigslist.org/cto/3923766233….
35 Chevy Delivery for $80,000 – cool car but way out of my price range!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3L93Jc3qc5Ia5s45q6d6c2d782aa82cb91f9a.jpg" width="600"> http://loz.craigslist.org/cto/3865875585.html
48 Chrysler for $5,995
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00z0z_6LOIlHdMr7B_600x450.jpg" width="600"> http://loz.craigslist.org/cto/3908597179.html
1947 Dodge for $1,000
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3r73Kf3q85Ic5se5Ffd6t276ce53496431d34.jpg" width="600"> http://littlerock.craigslist.org/cto/3903553417.h…
OK, I'm done – I'm tired and I need a nap.
Wow…the '46 Chrysler appears to be quite a deal. But "undercoated when new" isn't really a selling point for a 67 year old car, is it?
I'm digging this '35 Chevy Master Deluxe. Unlike the '35 Standard, the Master Deluxe featured a more streamlined "turret top" body and all-suicide doors on both two- and four-door models (The front doors were hinged at the front for '36.).
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00y0y_bMNXIvncQmh_600x450.jpg" />
<a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/3972883178.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/3972883178.html
This looks ominous:
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00s0s_fFbftldlmwg_600x450.jpg">
1948 DODGE W/SUICIDE DOORS!!!
"She's a beautiful 48, come on down and see her. She even has suicide doors! Don't let the red fool you, her body is in great shape!"
<a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3942285554.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3942285554.html
I am enjoying the photos of these suicide-door cars. This Lincoln looks like it wants to GTFO.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00K0K_chcjqpZZZ09_600x450.jpg">
1965 Lincoln w/Suicide Doors
<a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3929743966.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3929743966.html
RAD
<img src="http://cimages4.carsforsale.com/411170/72DC0CA3-918A-4EAE-80FC-BE6B8DD60671_3.jpg">
1948 MERCURY EIGHT SEDAN RUNS & DRIVE LIKE NEW SUICIDE DOORS! VERY – $12495
<a href="http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/ctd/3948024738.html” target=”_blank”>http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/ctd/3948024738.html
GUISE! This individual can take care of our Suicide needs!!!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00808_cdNMs7OwfLi_600x450.jpg">
FOR A GODDAMN DOLLAR!
suicide doors – $1
Eat your heart out, Jack.
This is actually quite clean. I am impressed.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00a0a_aYcNf7dcDPY_600x450.jpg">
Custom Chrysler 300 "Suicide Doors" – $14
<a href="http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3985630166.html” target=”_blank”>http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3985630166.html
I'd buy that for $14
Looks surprisingly not bad.
Not gonna bother to click through and have it ruined by the 37 TVs likely stuffed in there.
Actually, there is just one interior shot out of the 8 shots, and all it is of is the steering wheel and nav screen. I thought that was surprising.
Impressive, but total CP.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00q0q_dyyzykUKEEE_600x450.jpg">
1940 Ford Coupe Street Rod – Suicide Doors – $55000
<a href="http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3983910409.html” target=”_blank”>http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3983910409.html
This would be a pretty badass project.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00o0o_9JzZMOFhYiJ_600x450.jpg">
1964 suicide 4 door lincoln continental – $5500
http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3976396261.h…
The term is Bust your wallet project.
Never ending spending..
Because Redline
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00Z0Z_kwQcmzCzoZ1_600x450.jpg">
2006 Saturn Ion Red Line supercharged w\ suicide doors cold ac – $6000
<a href="http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3901552210.html” target=”_blank”>http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3901552210.html
Not to be outdone by 'Flicks crapcan T-Bird:
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kd3M33Jd5N15q45H7d6e6746d1d758c214a3.jpg">
971 ford thunderbird with suicide doors(4door) FOR SALE – $4200
<a href="http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3871361079.html” target=”_blank”>http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3871361079.html
I can't decide which I like least.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00N0N_deJosCiJShg_600x450.jpg">
http://maine.craigslist.org/cto/3970133764.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00303_hpUMmQ37qKL_600x450.jpg">
<a href="http://maine.craigslist.org/mcy/3972476436.html” target=”_blank”>http://maine.craigslist.org/mcy/3972476436.html
Both.
Definitely the truck. The car could be rescued fairly easily with some paint work and maybe new wheels.
<img src="http://www.classiccar.com/images/carpict/00008241/Gold-Lincoln–8241_2.jpg" width=500>
Lincoln Continental Hard Top/Suicide Doors, Gold, for sale in San Luis Obispo, California, for $15,500.
There have been some Continentals posted already, but this one is gold. You could say it's…
Suicide d'or.
I thought of the pun first and then looked for the car. I'm so glad that panned out.
As Gold based puns go, that was Au-ful.
Didn't want to feel like I was being yellow, I thought I midas well go for it.
1947 TRIUMPH CVT 1800 ROADSTER – $29000
http://slo.craigslist.org/ctd/3975036097.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00a0a_khQnoYYJZbn_600x450.jpg">
I now know of an Austin 12 for sale in South Africa. …Isn't the Internet grand?
http://www.gumtree.co.za/cp-cars-in-parow/austin-…
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzUwWDEwMDA=/$T2eC16FHJH!FFlg8Ys4BBS!gLyHnkg~~48_12.JPG">
Here's a nice looking '48 Plymouth. http://fargo.craigslist.org/cto/3910534432.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00y0y_gJ9A7rCIL3S_600x450.jpg" width="500"/>
<img src="http://webmonkees.com/art/brat/bat.jpg">
"1966 Batmobile like on Tv Show BATMAN "- $65000 (Johnson City)
Reproduction. Camaro based. Probably not 1966 Camaro based. 1/2 average reproduction Batmobile price.
No word on if the costume is included.
http://tricities.craigslist.org/cto/3955929985.ht…
My hometown.
Just wow. I guess this is speaking to a large and interested demographic. Will sell fast.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/1948-WILLYS-JEEPST…
Be careful, audio autoplay on that ebay listing!
"1948 Willys JEEPSTER CUSTOM" (stop yelling please)
<img src="http://www.motoexotica.com/vehicles/5305/52.jpg" width="500">
And now for something more or less off topic:
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/ODE5WDEwMjQ=/$(KGrHqNHJF!FHhl7DCPrBS!UQ-,I0!~~48_35.JPG" width="600">
A picture of a Ford Ranger for sale on my local kijiji.
I mean, why bother uploading that? Is it just to show where he parks his Ranger at night? <a href="http://saskatchewan.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-cars-trucks-1994-Ford-Ranger-W0QQAdIdZ510963202” target=”_blank”>http://saskatchewan.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-cars-trucks-1994-Ford-Ranger-W0QQAdIdZ510963202
holy hell this thing is bad ass! He named it Das Speedster
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00000_6pOnyTqCXYJ_600x450.jpg">
<a href="http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/cto/3983478031.html” target=”_blank”>http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/cto/3983478031.html
sorry i forgot it was about suicide doors
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00s0s_ksVpnnuQtrK_600x450.jpg>
grrrr
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00s0s_ksVpnnuQtrK_600x450.jpg">
How about four suicide doors? That's twice as many as any other car so far, so you're getting more for your money!
1929 essex – $7000 (lake george) http://albany.craigslist.org/cto/3932817535.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00y0y_bRmeayyRmCZ_600x450.jpg">
Nice car, but you may wish to recount the doors on the red '34 Plymouth I posted above.
I was only getting about 4 out of 5 of the images loading correctly(work internet was weird yesterday), so I missed yours.
How about a 64 Econoline van?
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00d0d_gWPrgZN1wvh_600x450.jpg">
http://richmond.craigslist.org/cto/3949296223.htm…