By Robert Emslie
Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. Racing takes many forms, from amateur gymkhana events, all the way up to the big Kahuna, F1 – or NASCAR if your hills are full of guys named Billy. Last week, I asked you to fill the field with race cars for sale, and you came through with a starting grid so interesting SPEED TV should dedicate a day in its honor. We’ll see who made it to the winner’s circle in minute, but first this week’s tantalizing task.
Seeing as we’ve pretty much played out the track, let’s get back onto the street. And in fact, because last week was Independence Day week, and everybody loves a parade, this week I want you to find. . . Shriner cars. Okay, come on, pick up your jaws, I know it’s an audacious task, and you may need to pull your fez out of the closet – and potentially get drunk – to participate, but that’s what I want this week, Shriner-mobiles.
And as usual, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Follow any of the following advice and you’re crap will be known far and wide.
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Jeff Glucker
Shriner cars are small, right?
1973 Caddilac Fleetwood Small Limo – $3000
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3rc3Gb3qc5E95K45s8d6u3638cfc0355b156e.jpg">
"THIS CAR WAS USED IN BEST WHORE HOUSE IN TEXAS
ITS A SMALL LIMO CAN SEAT 5 IN THE BACK GREAT"
Selling point? You tell me.
http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3904577279.html
It's funny that they call it a "small limo". It's not a small limo at all, it's a real, genuine limo. These things you see nowadays aren't limos at all. They're ridiculously stretched cars, and a lot of times they're hack jobs – like the one that caught fire recently in the Bay area, burning five women to death.
This would be perfect for terrifying other motorists, if it had a light window tint and the hideaway headlights off of a Continental.
BANACEK!!!!!!
I assume the seller means the movie "Best Little Whorehouse In Texas" – at least that's what I hope he means. Otherwise I'd be taking along one of those blacklights that they use in CSI to check out the interior.
How coincidental. I just saw this locally earlier this week:
1967 honda 305 – $2195 (lawrence ks)
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/mcy/3916306693.h…
Listed as "ex-shriner," with various badges to back it up.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00t0t_9201QHfUXIA_600x450.jpg" width="512">
Another one from Missouri, more to the expected scale:
J C Penney Shriner Carts – $1650
http://joplin.craigslist.org/mcd/3806410388.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K63L23J15F35J35Mbd5ff5c9a7bb7d4e1a7c.jpg" width="512">
…although I have no idea what "sanaancens" means.
I think there's a "d" in there – "sandancens". And the next-to-last letter could be an "r" – "sandancers". And I still don't get either one of those.
Sandancers will cut you.
And sand people will finish you off.
<img src="http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/38084267/The+Sand+People+are+Easily+Startled+but+They+will++TRaider.jpg" />
(I have no faith this gif will work) Dancing Sand People (They will fuck you up):
<img src="http://medias.omgif.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/The-sand-people-dance.gif">
I'm sure it is sandancers. Although these don't look much like Shriners…
<img src="http://gallery.getsholidays.com/var/albums/Rajasthan/Rajasthan-Tour/Jaisalmer/Colorful-rajasthan-desert-tour.jpg?m=1329475071" width="500">
Well, I have the plate for the car anyway. http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/pts/3858868655….
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E13r83q45Lf5r55qbd68d05292f14e5b1116.jpg">
BAM!
1929 FORD ZOR SHRINER CLOWN CAR – $2950 (DENTON, TX)
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ed3N83q25Ea5rf5tdd6d4902e67f31ac1614.jpg" width=350>
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3ta3L23Je5F35q55t4d6d1b74d2662ced14e0.jpg" width=350>
. http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3867895649.h…
1949 Jeepster – $10000 (SE CT)
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ia3F63J55Nf5G15Mcd63a1f15a01cf341019.jpg">
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E23J63N35Lf5Id5Kad63041714aaf4d6189d.jpg">
http://hartford.craigslist.org/cto/3848085420.htm…
Except, SPEED wouldn't touch it unless it was a field full of Sprint Cup cars.
This COULD be one of the famous Imps of Omaha shriner cars. Every year a couple of dozen shriners in Omaha would get together and order identical Imperial convertibles from the 1950s until the last Imperial convertible in 1968. This accounted for roughly 5% of Imperial convertible production every year. Annual production ranged from 500-600 on convertibles.
<img src="http://www.mecum.com/auctions/FL0112/FL0112-121096/images/1963-Chrysler-Imperial.jpg?lastmod=012812141700" width="500/"> http://www.mecum.com/auctions/lot_detail.cfm?LOT_… http://www.imperialclub.com/Rare/Shriner/ImpsOfOm…
I love Shriners cars, and I think anyone is hard pressed to come up with a more worthy cause than providing free medical care to sick and injured children.
Shriner's need to be policed, too, right?
<img src="http://finncdn.no/dynamic/480w/2013/7/vertical-3/11/5/427/600/35_573435679.jpg">
i got nothin
My step father was a Shriner. His golf buddies were Shriners too and they were my first encounter with drunk people.
I could not understand what was so funny and why and adult man was acting so foolish.
But enough about me, back on topic, my observation would be that the preferred rides of Shriners had significant overlap in the Venn diagram with preferred rides of 70's pimps, so I'll go with this:
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3896519330.h…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3J73q63H15s65q55tdd6qe89d575e581f166c.jpg">
FWIW, all I did was run a search on "brougham" and picked the first one I found that wasn't a donk.
Complete with paranoid (but frugal!) anti-theft collar around the steering column. Given the asking price, I can only presume he can not remove it.
In recovery there is something called dual factor theory. The soft,
flexible sleeves on these are able to mold to your ear shape
and therefore create a seal around the ear. Bose hhas learned from these failures
and has provided the consumer with earbuds that sometimes don’t even feel like they are budding in the ear.