By Robert Emslie
Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer.
Last week we went looking for old examples of yet another of the SUV/Crossover dominion’s victims, the Large 2-door Coupe, and we set an arbitrary limit of $5,000 for the spend. We’ll see if size really does matter in a minute. But first, this week’s quest
Got that? Good, now let’s get all coupe’d up!
Quite remarkably the votes on last week’s results followed almost in accordance to their recipients’ size. Let’s start off with crank_case giving us one of history’s weirdest coupes ever, and one that was big for Europe, a 2003 Renault Avantime, because it brings the funk. From there we go to the slew of offerings given to us by InLiner, which included a tasty Olds Trofeo (they just aren’t around anymore) and a big Benz 420 SEC, which surprisingly are.
I_Borgward found us a green Connie with questionable hubcaps (ad flagged for removal), while ptschett brought us an example of its later-built brother. Alff went the Jaaag route, while Batshitbox offered us up an F85 Cutlass that, well who wouldn’t want one of those amazing cars?
Harry Callahan‘s contribution was a 1977 Lincoln Continental Coupe (see, they’re getting bigger), which probably requires some sort of extra fee to park owing to its 233-inch length. Our winner, with the most votes is only 2-inches shorter, a 1978 Chrysler New Yorker Coupe, and that was uncovered by GTXcellent, who takes home the kudos.
Congrats to GTXcellent, and thank you all for your coupe contributions. Now, let’s raise some undeserving dead.
Jeff Glucker
2001 Monte Carlo SS. Man, these things were ugly!
https://images.craigslist.org/00N0N_iOR4br7HiNl_600x450.jpg
Ad: https://fortwayne.craigslist.org/cto/6094891749.html
The proportions are so off, it could have been made by Russians.
That’s a rear engine, right?
Even then there’s room for more visual harmony.
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/gIErzEdP9hY/maxresdefault.jpg
Which reminds me, the horror of finding the Rapid badge stuck on this sub-Octavia pointlessness.
http://www.skoda.co.uk/SiteCollectionImages/Models/Rapid/Extended%20Model/Rapid-Gallery-slider-7.jpg
An objectively better car I’m sure, but nowhere near as interesting/fun as the “poor mans Porsche”
Back in the mid-oughts, GM actually said with a straight face that they didn’t need to bring back the Camaro because they had the coupe market all covered with this abomination. That C-pillar was inspired by a beached whale carcass.
I agree. The fifth generation was at best inoffensively handsome, but this thing was a train smash. Whoever did the styling also screwed up the Impala.
I…….I just…….well, I have nothing more to add here
https://images.craigslist.org/00V0V_jdm1HEPiWJT_600x450.jpg
https://bemidji.craigslist.org/cto/6075741363.html
Low-hanging fruit? No – ground apples.
2004 Thunderbird with 8,200 miles, for the princely sum of $28,995.
https://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/6065916042.html
https://images.craigslist.org/00q0q_lN5DWvad7Yj_1200x900.jpg
My first thought as well. The idea had merit, but the melted bar of design just didn’t cut it. If it had been a better car otherwise instead of the heavy pig it wound up being, it might have been okay, but the little 3.9L V8 was just insufficient.
Nice price, or crack pipe?
1989 Le Mans, for $525. Needs some new glass, a couple of tires, and…?
https://texoma.craigslist.org/cto/6012673872.html
https://images.craigslist.org/00K0K_imuhhjwGnbs_1200x900.jpg
Nice! You beat me to this one, took some work to find any of these things. Nearing extinction I suspect/hope. Enjoy a two door example.
https://images.craigslist.org/00K0K_eM4JEsH2Id7_600x450.jpg
https://sacramento.craigslist.org/cto/6065519627.html
Back their their Dae they would woo their buyers by the dozens to their dealerships. Thanks to their fuel economy and cheap costs.
Not hard to find new either – 2017 model, 7600$:
http://www.autonavigator.ru/cars/used/Daewoo/Nexia/10542290.html
http://img7.autonavigator.ru/picscarsnew/1054/2290/3620500_800.jpg
But what would the neighbours say…? I wonder if this could actually be imported to the US, based on it being a LeMans that was also originally sold in the US? It’s by that logic you can still buy new Buchankas in the EU.
Impala. The latest generation is a bit of a redemption, but it’s still wrong-wheel-drive, which began with the generation pictured here.
https://images.craigslist.org/00c0c_eLBqydD2wDE_600x450.jpg
https://toledo.craigslist.org/cto/6089386624.html
https://dayton.craigslist.org/cto/6012499514.html
https://images.craigslist.org/00r0r_dlbDaPBCYpz_1200x900.jpg
This is actually a good example of it, but re-branding a Toyota Corolla built in the California NUMMI plant as a Chevy Nova should have been a no-go.
Ahh, yes, the proto-Prizm.
“The Car [No One Was Suprised] America Could Build”
FFS, Chevy.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d4fd8b0e3944cfef7895f73c899999b77c82917455e79610660d8f711ac7d95.jpg
https://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/6085867816.html
With the oval trunk emblem that was supposed to evoke the Toyota Camry. Nice try, Chevy.
http://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/XWcAAOSwTM5Yuyt4/s-l225.jpg
Holy smokes, that should be a new Ask: What’s the low point of any manufacturer’s self-esteem? Stellar contender here.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6e/Hyundai_Stellar_1986_red_Sweden.jpeg/1920px-Hyundai_Stellar_1986_red_Sweden.jpeg
But that really was their best try! Stellar indeed.
I thought it was supposed to evoke the Malibu breezes… or beaches… or whateves.
I believe it was C&D who cleverly added, “…but only Avis would buy.” to “the car you knew America could build”. It’s pretty shocking how tone deaf GM was back then.
The salesgal at the Chevy shop made a hard case that the ignition was in a better place.
That was her selling point.
The 1982 Corvette. Curvaceously sexy, neutered drivetrain aside.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ebd48cc45214ec32a19f283382bab89c62527c016af4c8dfbe84cafc38e7d1e2.jpg
The 1984 Corvette. Designed by a robot who was fed all the wrong data about what a Corvette should be. Still packing a neutered drivetrain.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9a9bee73a7f1a33b548fa5fc5c27ae0efd29d1cbe1b368fcb7092ecb00e9f3af.jpg
There was no 1983 Corvette, so if Jesus claimed resurrection after just 3 days stiff, one can definitely say that the Corvette underwent death and resurrection with a full model year missing!
The common thread being Cease-Fire Injection. But, needs the listing links.
There was no 1998 Mercury Cougar.
https://images.craigslist.org/00707_kNQ7FxWm4fN_600x450.jpg
https://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/cto/6061584359.html
The traditional RWd V-8 coupe, got turned into this. Here is the worst example from my local Craigslist.
Don’t knock it, those V6s are Fords gift to Miata transplants everywhere. 😀
These are also horrible to work on. Survival numbers are low.
Stutz. (Don’t even get me going on Tuesday Answers.)
https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cto/6070483753.html
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/06c18a5c4c84155bc042cdb6f5feca2f7f3461a8764acecd47e4488c80ce1909.jpg
Also Hooniverse Cheat Sheet!
http://hooniverse.info/2016/08/15/hooniverse-asks-what-once-dead-marque-had-the-most-inauthentic-revival/
A 1966 Cord 8/10. So named because it was 8/10th the size of the original Cord. The bought the rights to the name. Powered by a Corvair engine.
http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/uploads/cars/cord/8182422.jpg
http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C818254
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/278622d40d38c020842f189796fb214e68a42000c4113a2539298fdea0a11866.jpg Or if you don’t mind something uglier and less authentic-looking, there is this Samco Cord thing…
http://car-from-uk.com/sale.php?id=79762
“Used Cords go for $100. 00 – $200. 00. This car looks the same.”
Cleans glasses.
No.
Maybach only enters contention for “worst” when price:value is considered.
https://www.truecar.com/used-cars-for-sale/listing/WDBVG78J14A000949/2004-maybach-62/
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3b0041717392d559dab751ec4515569c5b05f0a8accb7a73334466a8733bdb9b.jpg
They depreciate quickly which works wonders for us.
I know I’m in the minority, but I would love a 57S.
I think Avanti might hold the record for the most resurrections. The worst had to be the 4th Gen F-body based ones. Here is one for sale for ONLY $35,900!
http://www.oldcaronline.com/photos/571356/571356_1.jpg
http://www.oldcaronline.com/2002-Avanti-2%20Dr%20Convertible-Stratford-New%20Jersey-for-sale-ID571356.htm
Beat me to it.
Poor Avanti and Raymond.
The Mercury Capri left as a bubble-backed Fox Body Mustang clone; it came back as a wrong-wheel-drive roadster/way less practical Mazda 323.
https://images.craigslist.org/00f0f_hWQvvKLmltH_1200x900.jpg
https://inlandempire.craigslist.org/cto/6089049072.html
There is a large of me that wonders if these aren’t great first cars thanks to price. I’m guessing they are hell to insure since they are two seat convertibles though.
A gal I dated had one – the engine fell out of the subframe.
A more recent offender…
https://houston.craigslist.org/ctd/6095147171.html
https://images.craigslist.org/00l0l_7jA5pcvK5Di_1200x900.jpg
I see these everywhere now.
Shameful confession time – I drove one of these (in Trailhawk spec) a few weeks ago, and I kind of like it. Viewed as a followup to the XJ, it’s jarring, but as a smaller sibling to the WK2 Grand Cherokee (no one seems to object to how it lives up to the ZJ’s legacy), it’s not bad.
I’m kind of with you. The shamefulness of it is probably not fully deserved, but that bad taste that is/was the Compass/Patriot is still in my mouth, and the base models look like a chubby little CUV. The Trailhawk versions look like the vehicle ought to, which brings me to another auto styling rant of mine, when a model is styled to look decent only with upgraded wheels and altered ride height, I find the base models particularly offensive. The 2005-ish Chevy pickups with the Avalanche front ends were the worst offenders. In full Z71 trim they were just ok, but a 2wd version with skinny tires looked very disproportionate.
For a brief time in the late ’90’s between Achieva and Alero, Oldsmobile briefly returned to having a car that was just named Cutlass with no Supreme, Salon, Ciera or Calais. Here’s one listed for $995.
I’m not sure that the person who wrote the ad actually looked at the car.
http://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/vehicledetails.xhtml?listingId=448708529
http://images.autotrader.com/hn/c/a546a999b3f546c2964d45526f3a52c7.jpg