Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist
Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. 
The U.S. and Great Britain have a lot in common, not least of which is a passion for trucks that love the muck. Here in the States we have the Jeep, born out of WWII and as important an icon of our nation as the Bald Eagle or super-sized portion of fast food. Great Britain has the Land Rover, which also saw its inception during the War, and which only recently saw its paleo-parent – lately called the Defender – end production. Last week we celebrated Land Rover by looking for some excellent choices of that marque on the used car market. We’ll see which one tops the cake in a sec, but first we need to go back to the future.
Okay now, by that I don’t mean we’re looking for Deloreans and Toyota pickups. The future I want us to go back to is one in which cars had… digital dashboards. Yep, from the seventies through the ’80s it seemed as though the digital dash was the wave of the future, a future than never really materialized. Let’s go back to that, and see what we can find for sale that still lights up our lives.
As always, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Since we’ve changed commenting systems, you may need to update your commenter account. Make sure you have a Disqus account – they’re free and easy to get – and then comment away.

Got that? Good, now let’s roll over Rover.

For a car make with a reputation for carrying Great Britain through the war, Land Rover’s more recent reputation for surrendering to mechanical failure might have you shouting bloody hell! The worst offenders are the often most expensive ones – like the ’97 Range Rover found by Andrew_theS2kBore, but the cheap seats LR2 also has a rep for amazing levels of disappointment, and Lokki shares a story of a friend who owned one for all of 45 days and who wishes to get those 45 days back.
You can’t beat the original, although even the Defenders had their issues. If you’re going to own one however, you might want to get the toughest, most hirsute version you can, and that’s why this armor-plated and grenade-launching Land Rover – also found by Lokki – is our pick for what should be your pick.
Thanks to all for playing, and congrats to Lokki and sympathies to Lokki’s LR2-tainted friend.
1974 Land rover shorland Armor car

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36 responses to “Craigslist Crapshoot”

  1. Alff Avatar

    Any discussion of digital dashes must include this. This one even comes with a spare, although the seller neglected to showcase this most digitasty of dashes in his photos.

  2. Kiefmo Avatar

    This one has been for sale for quite some time, and I keep waiting for a time to post it. I’m so pleased its time has arrived!
    Aaaand its working digital dash:

    1. Guest Avatar

      Does Ford have the trademark on the car keypad?

      I’ve only ever seen them on Fords, and I think it works well enough that other carmakers would pick it up.

      1. engineerd Avatar

        I think there were others (Acura?), but it was definitely more prevalent on Fords. In fact, once the remote fob became ubiquitous everyone else stopped using them. Ford tried, but the geezers buying Town Cars and Grand Marquiseses threw a fit. So they added them back in a horribly uninspired manner.

  3. GTXcellent Avatar

    No pic of the dash, but Olds Trofeo’s had a sweet, sweet digital dash – this one’s so beat up I’m sure it doesn’t work anymore

  4. Citric Avatar

    Would you enjoy the ultimate Mercury Grand Marquis? This is the best I can get for a dash photo, text says it’s digital though.$_27.JPG

  5. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    My offering to the Crapshoot gods this week comes in the form of a 1986 Toyota Cressida for $1800.

  6. engineerd Avatar

    The Allante is the first thing that comes to mind when the words “digital dash” are uttered. Who knows if this one still works.

    1. JayP Avatar

      I like this.
      Has a new cyloniod too.

      1. Alff Avatar

        If they used Number 6, I’ll buy it.

    2. Guest Avatar

      Do you know what’s fun?

      Fun is when your car has automatic temperature control, and the temp reading switches from F to C, based on the E/M button for the dash, but your car doesn’t have the E/M button because it has an analog dash. Then your imported American car tells you the temperature in F, and you don’t don’t know how to deal with F, because you’ve been taught C your entire life!

      *mini-rant from a crazy person*

      1. Vairship Avatar

        Rough conversion: 70F = 20C. Then, every 2F higher or lower equals 1C higher or lower. That works well for the temps here in SoCal, but might be off slightly with the very low temps up there in Frigidonia.

  7. mdharrell Avatar

    Cartier Edition. “If you enjoy cruising around Seattle like a total boss, this is the car for you.”
    “Coolant leak South Dakota license plate Mild hail damage Needs washer fluid” $897.

    1. dead_elvis Avatar

      I read your quoted bits to the tune of REM’s It’s the End of the World As We Know It. Scanned almost perfectly.
      Also, a bit of WTF from the ad: “Air suspension (imagine the feeling of driving a boat)”
      Now, I’m no boat person, but I’ve always been under the impression that they were without any sort of suspension aside from the whole floaty-displacement bit.

  8. 0A5599 Avatar

    Reatta at a Lemony price. Dash allegedly still works.

  9. Wind Advisory Avatar
    Wind Advisory
    The 88/89 323 GTX could be optioned with a “Lights Over Tokyo” Digi Dash.

    1. Guest Avatar

      It must have failed in this car.

      How else can you explain 7 auxiliary gauges?

      1. dead_elvis Avatar

        +6 hp/gauge. An extra +3 for the cluster, but -2 for the ones on the dash dead center in front of the driver.
        Aw, screw it. Kill the whole thing with fire.

        1. OttoNobedder Avatar

          …and 5hp each for the Event Plaques glued to the dash…

  10. tonyola Avatar

    1983 Nissan Datsun 280zx with the digital dash. Note the cool two-range fuel gauge.

  11. mrh1965 Avatar

    Another t-bird, this an ’85 30th Anniversary edition. This is such a good pic of the dash, I couldn’t refuse. I could also have offered you a clean ’85 Corvette, an ’80’s Firebird KITT car project that’s going nowhere fast, or an early ’90’s Caprice Classic with “new digital dash” but no pics. Dude, why you toying with me?!
    Good looking car.

    1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

      Ooh, a Tipo. Dad had an -89, a white stripper with a carbureted Uno engine.
      I’d love to have a mint Sedicivalvole. 16v 2.0 engine with nearly 150hp, and the weight and refinement of a poorly assembled sardine can, only with a surprising amount of room. And the window cranks would certainly fall off if you so much as looked at them.

  12. Manic_King Avatar

    Turbo Boost gauge equipped Fiat Uno Turbo from Southern Italy, expensive but there’s just few Uno Turbos left it seems.$/$_57.JPG

    1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

      Most Uno Turbos have been wrapped around a tree at ludicrous speed. The remaining cars have probably been crushed because absolutely everything except the engine broke or rusted away.

    1. JayP Avatar

      I went looking for a 1986 GT Centennial edition for my entry… no luck.

  13. Hatchtopia Avatar

    I was going to post the 1984 Turbo 300ZX, but then I saw this. Red, acres of beautiful red velour. Be still my heart.

    1. dead_elvis Avatar

      I bet it smells faintly of cigarettes even if no one ever smoked in it. (But what are the odds?)

    2. ol shel Avatar
      ol shel

      That’s incredible. Thank you so much.

  14. Guest Avatar

    What are the chances the digital dash in $400 Ford Probe will still work?

    “Still runs and drives just fine but insurance company would probably want some work put into it before it gets on the road again.”

    Well that inspires confidence…$_27.JPG$_27.JPG

    1. dead_elvis Avatar

      LeMons candidate, obv.