Craigslist Crapshoot

Robert Emslie

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The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Welcome to our Wednesday dumpster dive that is known as Craigslist Crapshoot. For last week’s assignment we were looking for those high mileage dirty dogs known as diesels– the smokier and sootier the better. The oil-burning winner is after the jump, but first let’s queue up today’s scavenger hunt.

This week I want you to find us Faux-Caminos and Rank-cheros. Not the real deals mind you, but cars that have been converted into open-air haulers against their will. The Sawzall is a trademark of the Milwaukee Electric Tool Company and no other device, plug-in or otherwise, has done more to make backyard car surgeons take it off, take it all off. 

So bring me your tired rides, your poorly executed chopped jobs, and your huddled messes and let’s see which home brew car/pickup is the most craptastical. Oh, and just as a reminder, they need to be runners and potentially licensable for the road.

And also as usual, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Follow any of  the following advice and you’re crap will be known far and wide.

  1. Easiest way to not get caught in the spam filters is to create an IntenseDebate account. If you do so and your posts aren’t appearing, let us know at tips@hooniverse.info and we can put you on the whitelist
  2. If you don’t want an IDC account, you can create a wordpress.com account and do the same thing.
  3. If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link
Craigslist Crapshoot doesn’t work if your candidates don’t get seen, so hopefully following one of these options will ensure that the floodgates of crap are fully open. And speaking of open, let’s take the jump to see last week’s dirty rat of a Craigslist Crapshoot winner.
As usual Craigslist Crapshoot resulted in a whole lot of wonderful among the woeful, but tossed in among the cool Peugeot 504s and VW diesels of every shape and size, there were a number of diesels dredged up that look to be on their last legs. Ptschett found a dark and ominous Olds Toro, ironically located in Fargo North Dakota.  That car was so creepy that its seller couldn’t even set a value for it, no doubt for fear that no price would be low enough. 
 
But the winner of our diesel dual turned out to be C³-Cool Cadillac Cat who found an Isuzu-powered diesel Chevette whose innate horribleness was only exacerbated by the statement in its ad that it was pulled from a salvage yard. Yikes!
 
1984 Diesel Chevette-CC03-20
 
Way to go C³-Cool Cadillac Cat! And keep that thing away from me.
 

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Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

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83 responses to “Craigslist Crapshoot”

  1. Maxichamp Avatar
    Maxichamp

    Dear Hoons,
    Please help me find an unmolested, low mileage, 1- to 2-owner Lexus SC300 with a manual transmission. Danke!
    And to keep it on-topic, an SC300-amino is fine too.

    Reply
    1. craigsu Avatar
      craigsu

      Well, it's had an engine swap but it is a manual:
      http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/1995-Lexus-SC300-T…

      Reply
    2. vwminispeedster Avatar
      vwminispeedster

      Totally not what you asked for but I'd like to see one at SS. 🙂

      Reply
  2. smalleyxb122 Avatar
    smalleyxb122

    There is no mention of it running, but it looks complete enough to move under its own power. It also lacks the requisite bed to make it camino-ized, but it looks vaguely truckish, and it's most assuredly a hack job. Its eligibility is suspect, but it needed to be shared.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E33I53M35If5K25Fad2c630efe8521171dfd.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://sandusky.craigslist.org/cto/3613935182.html” target=”_blank”>http://sandusky.craigslist.org/cto/3613935182.html

    Reply
    1. chrystlubitshi Avatar
      chrystlubitshi

      it is ready for a six or eight foot flatbed with stake sides.
      it counts!!

      Reply
  3. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    Yeah, not a 'chero or 'amino, but still "alot of fabrication."
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E43G63mf5L15Kb5Hed37a7d11c2e2ae610a3.jpg"&gt;
    Seriously, you need to check this thing out.
    <a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3664833216.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3664833216.html

    Reply
  4. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    BAM!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K23mc3Fa5I35N35Kfd373e5fc392aeff1798.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://pueblo.craigslist.org/cto/3665995122.html” target=”_blank”>http://pueblo.craigslist.org/cto/3665995122.html

    Reply
    1. smalleyxb122 Avatar
      smalleyxb122

      That is awesome! The addition of an actual pickup bed is a nice touch. It really takes it to another level, while being probably easier than welding up rear doors, and hacking up the rear bodywork.

      Reply
      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        Someone did a nice job fabbing the back of the cab.

        Reply
        1. smalleyxb122 Avatar
          smalleyxb122

          There is a lot of actual pickup-ness in the cab. I can’t figure why the builder would go through the effort of installing the fuel tank in the middle of what was a car. That had me questioning the method of build. Was the bed added to the Coronet, or were Coronet fenders added to a truck? The windshield and door look like the front doors of a 4-door '59 Coronet, though.
          So, yes, a lot of nice fab work.

          Reply
    2. muthalovin Avatar
      muthalovin

      I spent a month in Pueblo one weekend.

      Reply
      1. Alcology Avatar
        Alcology

        Ever get it out of your clothes?

        Reply
    3. FrankTheCat Avatar
      FrankTheCat

      That doesn't even look like meth/bath salts were involved. I.. actually like it.

      Reply
      1. FrankTheCat Avatar
        FrankTheCat

        Though if I drove that, I think I'd have to grow a mullet and shave off all but my mustache. And leave empty PBR cans on the passenger floor.

        Reply
      2. muthalovin Avatar
        muthalovin

        I do believe that the individual that created this car used math salts.

        Reply
        1. FrankTCat Avatar
          FrankTCat

          That rimshot could be heard in space.

          Reply
    4. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Thread closer.

      Reply
    5. Plecostomus Avatar
      Plecostomus

      I… I kind of want it.
      I must be sick.

      Reply
      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        Nope. It's definitely cool.

        Reply
    6. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Bad ass mother indeed, kicks butt, wow!

      Reply
  5. fodder650 Avatar
    fodder650

    Rajah? Who heck knows what a Rajah is? I haven't seen it on some sitcom and I don't believe any celebrities are pushing it. So therefore it must not exist. http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/cto/3690851104…
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K13md3N35E85Ff5Mfd3j3bb5ef588be917fd.jpg&quot; width=500 />

    Reply
    1. joe Dunlap Avatar
      joe Dunlap

      Looks vaguely Masonic to me

      Reply
      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        Definitely a Shriner parade car.

        Reply
    2. RahRahRecords Avatar
      RahRahRecords

      The bed design makes me think it was a fireman's drill team truck at some point in its past.

      Reply
  6. fodder650 Avatar
    fodder650

    I still don't know why GM didn't just badge engineer this back in the 80's. http://southjersey.craigslist.org/cto/3656534845….
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ka3Mc3Nf5N25L45G2d332983064185161885.jpg&quot; width=500 />

    Reply
  7. joshuman Avatar
    joshuman

    Oh sure, this week I don't have that Range Rover truck.

    Reply
  8. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    I can't find a damn thing, so I'll celebrate the winner with this much more interesting Corvette Chevette.
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjEyWDgxNg==/$T2eC16hHJHYE9nzpgIvEBRKoDTYe7w~~48_20.JPG&quot; width="500">
    It has a V6!

    Reply
    1. racer139 Avatar
      racer139

      That would be mine if I was 4000 km closer.

      Reply
      1. Devin Avatar
        Devin

        Pay my expenses and I'd be willing to take an epic road trip.

        Reply
  9. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    There isn't a really good shot of the "bed" but I think this thing is pretty damn awesome.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3La3M83J25N45Lc5K1d3766f519ca1fce1408.jpg"&gt;
    1982 K-5 Blazer 2WD – $15000 (crackpipe crapshoot though)
    <a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3664882163.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3664882163.html

    Reply
    1. OA5599 Avatar
      OA5599

      No bed. It's just a K-5 with the roof unbolted. They were designed to do that.
      <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E43G93K35La5Ke5F7d37cea538408af2125f.jpg&quot; width=500>

      Reply
      1. muthalovin Avatar
        muthalovin

        I thought maybe they had roofs that needed sawzallings. Oh well, thanks for the correction.

        Reply
  10. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    Not just a Durango, but a faux Mercury Durango!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3L93Ib3He5Ib5K65Jfd3d13cf89e4e20f1dfa.jpg&quot; />
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/cto/3680017403.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/cto/3680017403.html

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      That's interesting. I was looking for a Fairmont on CL and came up with someone asking $15k. I then spent an hour reading up on them.
      Is there anything a Foxbody can't do?

      Reply
      1. MVEilenstein Avatar
        MVEilenstein

        No.

        Reply
  11. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    Apologies for this sadness. I am so, so sorry.
    <img src="http://i796.photobucket.com/albums/yy246/mikegmang/20130312_103906.jpg&quot; width=550>>
    I was hoping for lambo doors, but it is just lambo green
    2011 Ford Raptor- lift kit, lamborgini green, low miles, all custom – $32000
    http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3678658701.html

    Reply
    1. kvnkiley Avatar
      kvnkiley

      oh, the horror!

      Reply
    2. Kamil_K Avatar
      Kamil_K

      OMG…. so sad.
      Also, a Raptor review tomorrow!!

      Reply
      1. muthalovin Avatar
        muthalovin

        Yeeeessssssss. What time? I gotsta beat $kaycog to the first comment.

        Reply
        1. Kamil_K Avatar
          Kamil_K

          0900 PST, noon EST.Unless something changes. 🙂

          Reply
    3. ptschett Avatar
      ptschett

      I was thinking something more agricultural.
      <img src="http://images.hemmings.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/steiger_resized.jpg&quot; width="500"/>
      img from Hemmings.com

      Reply
  12. mdharrell Avatar
    mdharrell

    Cutting the top off of a DJ turns it into a CJ, right?
    http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/3686053095….
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ib3F53J55G55E45Ked3gf1838f67307a1277.jpg&quot; width="450">
    "Cold weather requires 6 minute warm-up"
    "Asking $1200 firm-ish"

    Reply
    1. Alcology Avatar
      Alcology

      Won't accept a penny less than $1200! Seriously a steal at $1100 but that's as low as I'll go! $1000 but I'm taking it on the chin here!

      Reply
    2. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      Perfect for the mail carrier who delivers a lot of fishing poles and snow skis.

      Reply
  13. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar
    BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

    No craiglist in Brazil so gonna post a pickup truck of a friend of mine (it´s not for sale)
    Meet the Franken Rod (Chevy chassis and Ford 302 engine)
    <img src="http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/886609_10200905233982844_278522286_o.jpg&quot; width="600">
    <img src="http://sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/893520_10200905233942843_29332063_o.jpg&quot; width="600">

    Reply
    1. alain Avatar
      alain

      horray for ford engine in a chevy! rather than the usual sbc in a '32

      Reply
    2. chrystlubitshi Avatar
      chrystlubitshi

      any excuse to post a pic of your Opala is welcome. who cares what the article is.
      also, that is a pretty bad@ss lookin old truck.

      Reply
    3. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Tell your buddy this random guy on the web really digs it, kudos!

      Reply
  14. FrankTheCat Avatar
    FrankTheCat

    this isn't a pickemuptruckamino, but, my eyes:
    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/ZFJYAb5.png&quot; width="600"> <a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/mcy/3678173825.html” target=”_blank”>http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/mcy/3678173825.html

    Reply
    1. TX_Stig Avatar
      TX_Stig

      Can there actually be serious inquiries for such a machine?

      Reply
    2. dead_elvis Avatar
      dead_elvis

      That can't win on the track. It always comes in a little behind.

      Reply
  15. Pixel Avatar
    Pixel

    How about a '73 Buick convertible with airbrushed looney tunes characters all over it? my favorite part is that the ad never mentions the insane airbrushing.
    http://hartford.craigslist.org/cto/3687271540.htm…
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kb3F83N75La5Fe5H9d3h0fbe715f383b188d.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kb3Gf3I95L55N75I3d3h318e14e8c74e1c54.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. LEROOOY Avatar
      LEROOOY

      WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT? NO, MAN. NO. That trunk image is WAY MORE than "airbrushed Looney Tunes characters all over it."

      Reply
    2. stigshift Avatar
      stigshift

      At least it doesn't have the Flatiron Building on top of it…

      Reply
      1. stigshift Avatar
        stigshift

        At least somebody got it.

        Reply
  16. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    I don't think Willys made trucks like this:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Fa3I73M15Ic5Gc5Kdd2l0a7cf37ed2471371.jpg"width=500&gt; <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/wat/cto/3634830950.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/wat/cto/3634830950.html

    Reply
    1. calzonegolem Avatar
      calzonegolem

      If you build a rat rod the make of the cab is the only thing that matters … didn't you know that?

      Reply
  17. vroomsocko Avatar
    vroomsocko

    Words fail me… A Nissan mini truck with a ’52 Ford? front end and hydraulics. Only $4,500.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3If3o23H75La5Fd5H2d320485bdf75de617d2.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://columbus.craigslist.org/cto/3654960585.htm…

    Reply
    1. Alcology Avatar
      Alcology

      Stung by a bee in the face! Wow, that is just too weird looking

      Reply
  18. vroomsocko Avatar
    vroomsocko

    I must cleanse my palate (and eyes) after my previous post. Conquista Ho!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ge3Mc3J35Le5Nc5H6d1p33c498ccf4281f78.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://columbus.craigslist.org/ctd/3571009708.htm…

    Reply
  19. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    Does factory ugly count? Ssangyong Actyon Sport 2012 modell. Nuff said.
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/3/vertical-3/11/1/402/488/31_960426553_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      Spawn of Aztek and any truck drunk enough to hit "dat".

      Reply
  20. MVEilenstein Avatar
    MVEilenstein

    What about an El Camino that's forced to be a POS?
    http://seattle.craigslist.org/oly/cto/3693807829….
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ke3Lc3H85Nb5Ga5H6d3kf534d10d190f1c3b.jpg"&gt;
    Who doesn't want an ELDOBROCK FIEL PUMP?

    Reply
    1. RahRahRecords Avatar
      RahRahRecords

      this one's worse
      <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3M13Id3Jd5L45K65Hdd2a8f0068b6cf111e3b.jpg"&gt; <a href="http://charleston.craigslist.org/cto/3607570984.html” target=”_blank”>http://charleston.craigslist.org/cto/3607570984.html

      Reply
  21. salguod Avatar
    salguod

    Custom 1970 VW show winning truck for $10K and no current pics of it finished except this shot of a tacky 70's wall clock:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Eb3k33J45La5G95H4d2p0f205b66ebfc1f82.jpg&quot; width=600>
    Oh, wait, it's in process of being restored and is apart. $10K. Crazy talk.
    <a href="http://columbus.craigslist.org/cto/3642983659.html” target=”_blank”>http://columbus.craigslist.org/cto/3642983659.html

    Reply
    1. mdharrell Avatar
      mdharrell

      That's pretty tasteful by the standards of '70s wall clocks.

      Reply
  22. wisc47 Avatar
    wisc47

    It's a Chevy S-10 with the front end of a '46 pickup grafted on. It's interesting to say the least…
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ea3n63J35Ie5L75K1d29d73f437f43961b9d.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E93If3Jc5Lb5G35Kfd297251f3e44b3f13d6.jpg"&gt; <a href="http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/cto/3605893418.html” target=”_blank”>http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/cto/3605893418.html

    Reply
    1. dead_elvis Avatar
      dead_elvis

      I don't think interesting is the word you're looking for.

      Reply
      1. FrankTCat Avatar
        FrankTCat

        I don't think words can describe.

        Reply
    2. alain Avatar
      alain

      the hitler mustache, bad for people, verrrry bad for cars.

      Reply
    3. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      Looks like someone tried to make a SSR replica based only on a written description and no pictures.

      Reply
  23. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    I'd put a complete '03-'04 SVT Cobra drivetrain and suspension (including the IRS) under a Lincoln Mark VII.

    Reply
    1. stigshift Avatar
      stigshift

      I like the way you think.

      Reply
      1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        I like you, we had a rough get go, sorry again about that man.

        Reply
        1. stigshift Avatar
          stigshift

          No worries, my friend.

          Reply
  24. RahRahRecords Avatar
    RahRahRecords

    this ones not actually bad. Faux wood FTW
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Mb3I23L75L15G95J2d3a1bd5d8548093175a.jpg"&gt; <a href="http://charleston.craigslist.org/cto/3672471044.html” target=”_blank”>http://charleston.craigslist.org/cto/3672471044.html

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      This is cool and does not belong here.

      Reply
    2. FrankTCat Avatar
      FrankTCat

      At first I doubted that was "ALL ORIGINAL," but:
      <img src="http://www.holley.com/data/VirtualShow/Pictures/Large2987!2011-8-4!0H58M26S.jpg&quot; width="600">
      Apparently it was an actual thing Ford did. Huh.

      Reply
  25. Mad_Hungarian Avatar
    Mad_Hungarian

    Dammit, somebody stole the Cadillac converter. That explains why it hasn't turned into a Cimarron, obviously.<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ld3Mb3F15N65K95J4d3g501dbb8439171850.jpg">http://macon.craigslist.org/cto/3684813829.html

    Reply
    1. fodder650 Avatar
      fodder650

      That would make an awesome base for an Ranchero conversion. Just remove the hatch glass. Add a body liner to the rear seat and magic magic POOF!!! A brand new Ford Ranchero.

      Reply
  26. danleym Avatar
    danleym

    This is not on craigslist, and it's not for sale, but it is a pickup conversion and it is BAD ASS, so I felt like sharing.
    <img src="http://pacertruck.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/aaatzr-0102.jpg&quot; width=500>

    Reply
  27. mudpiehomer.blogspot.ru Avatar
    mudpiehomer.blogspot.ru

    The wood was protected from the weather but it retained its moisture, and still smoked.
    These finishing touches are essential because aside from
    enhancing the look of your shed they also strengthen the durability and weather resistance of the structure.
    Not to mention this way is a lot more cost effective than getting dismantled
    kits.

    Reply
  28. richellebuhd.pen.io Avatar
    richellebuhd.pen.io

    The roof used in this shed design is very distinctive.
    The second way is to make a storage shed from the ground up all on your lonesome.
    Poor thing, not only did he smell terrible but seemed he had never
    been properly potty trained.

    Reply