In pursuit of interesting contest fodder, Classic Captions photos tend to skew cheesy, with awkwardly posed people standing around stationary cars. Well, this is foremost an enthusiast site, and sometimes you just got bring out the speed. Here’s a crossed-up, rotary-powered, pre-zoom-zoom ’77 Mazda getting downright rowdy out on a twisty road. Hell yeah badass. But the flame tracks? What’s that about? Other than pointing out that that’s some damn fine pre-Photoshop photographic manipulation, I will leave further interpretation up to the commentariat. What humorous or profound (but most likely just humorous) comment can you come up with to fit this illustration?
At the opposite end of the performance spectrum, last week’s entry focused not on speedy, visceral thrills, but luxury: the sumptuous interior of a GMC RV and a relaxed mountain-gazing couple. The always sly dukeisduke tied for the most votes with his hilariously inside-baseball comment, “Don and Barbara stared out at the beautiful view of the Ozarks, with the Queen City in the distance. Barbara the psychic predicted, ‘Thirty-eight years from now, that olelongrooffan will immortalize our GMC Motorhome in a Long Shots article on Hooniverse.'” Sharing the top spot but sourcing humor from a totally different cultural reference was smalleyxb122’s Futurama-flavored comment, complete with accompanying illustration: “You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.” Very appropriate, and well done. Congrats to you both.
Classic Captions – Mazda RX3-SP Edition
By Peter Tanshanomi
Jul 11, 2016
By Peter Tanshanomi
Tanshanomi is Japanese [単車のみ] for "motorcycle(s) only." Though primarily tasked with creating two-wheel oriented content for Hooniverse, Pete is a lover of all sorts of motorized vehicles.
Kamil Kaluski 
Robby DeGraff
Mazda: Finally capable of 88 miles per hour.
Unbeknownst to onlookers, winning the 24 hours of Lemons Index of Effluency at the Thunderhill Arse Freeze-a-Palooza was only the second-greatest moment this particular RX-3 enjoyed at that venue.
Why is the Pinto driving around opposite race direction? !?!
Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is… don’t worry about torque.
After extensive testing, Yokohama decided that magnesium radials are not a good idea
Those are Firestones.
Truth in advertising – waste oil is flammable and the ad shows how fast it comes out of the car.
Wankel rotary motor: a tire fire in your wallet
Hey, Dave! I think I found out why your rotary is using so much gas!
Damned external combustion motors…
Who says rear wheel drive cars can’t deal with snow?
The Mazda RX-3SP: The SP stands for ‘spinning pyro’.
“A yellow stripey car that leaves yellow stripes on the road? Our prayers have been answered! We’ll take four, please.”
http://www.theartsdesk.com/sites/default/files/images/stories/NEW_MUSIC/russ_coffey/stryper_0.jpg
Stryper?
Yep. I was going for a reference to the yellow stripes in the center of the road, and the awesometastic stripes on the Mazda. I should have let the Editorial department spitball a few more ideas before posting Christian Hair Metal bands, but I had to get to work.
I was looking at it from a different angle. I was trying to figure out how the RX3 was the devil since the album was “To Hell with the Devil”
When you’re ready to burn your bridges. And everything else.
Somehow the meaning of “burnout” was lost in translation.
The Mazda rotary engine: Now you don’t need to buy a Ferrari to experience external combustion.
Jesus might have built your hotrod, but the devil built my ricer.
Thanks for the hat tip, Tan.
Eats Pintos for breakfast, leaves fire.
I can’t come up with anything clever, but I remember seeing this ad in Road & Track as a kid.
I remember reading the magazine tests that said the SP package really wasn’t all that impressive — not that much of an improvement.
Wow, this is what I’d imagine asking 8 year old me to draw a car advertisement would look like.
I have no caption, I just need to know where to find such a bespoilered and bestriped Mazda. It is awesome.
私の人生はフェード。ビジョンが暗くなり。残っているのはメモリです。私は混乱…台無し夢の時間…この無駄な土地を覚えています。しかし、すべてのほとんどは、私がロードウォリアーを覚えています。男は、私たちは「最大」と呼ばれます彼は誰だった理解するには、戻って別の時間に行かなければなりません…