Classic Captions Contest – 1998 Chevrolet Camaro Edition

A few things before we begin this episode of Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest. First, can you believe this body style Camaro is now twenty years old? Will we start seeing collectors plates on fourth generation GM F-Bodies? I’m definitely looking forward to slapping a blue Wisconsin collectors plate on the back of my own beloved Camaro in a few years and laying off the absurd registration fees our pothole-ridden state has.
Second, I chose this old Camaro advertisement from 1998 because after seeing yesterday’s initial images of the refreshed 2019 Camaro, I needed a pick-me-up after the disappointment. The newest Camaro was looking so good and then they just butchered it. Aging Malibu taillights? Silverado and Imapala-esque front ends to differentiate each trim? Bad move, guys. What are your thoughts on this redesign?
Let’s look at a few of the winning comments from our last Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest where we took an intimate look at the perplexed Ross family, who recently purchased the hottest car on sale in 1982, the Plymouth Reliant K.

“The Spuckler family gathers around Dolly’s newest bundle of joy, all lovingly wrapped up in her arms – a replacement cylinder head for that garbage 2.2L”-GTXcellent
“Bob isn’t smiling because he just knows that this thing will crap out before 48 months of payments on the $7,482 are up, but after the 3 yr/ 36k mile warranty. Alfred is frowning, wondering just what kind of putz his daughter married.”-P161911
“Pick the cardboard cutout. Edit… And win a K car! Second prize: 2 K cars! (Ok so it isn’t particularly original, but why not…)”-outback_ute 

Keep up the comical commentary folks! On to this episode featuring that green drop-top ’98 Camaro above. Craig and his fiancé, Jill, just left their group “Tony ‘Gazelle’ Little’s Cardio Masher” class at the local YMCA. After a sweaty go on the elliptical and dishing out $9 on a protein recovery shake, the aspiring duo walk out to their new Camaro Z28 convertible. Craig just finished paying off the mortgage on his overpriced condo outside of La Jolla and wanted to reward himself with a new American sports car. Craig also made sure to coordinate his gym bag to match his Camaro, and joked to Jill how he “accidentally” walked out with the locker room towel. Craig was really just excited that he now had a free towel to dry his new whip with after washing it in his driveway. It was his way of “sticking it to the system.”
Now it’s your turn to tell the story, or add on to it. What’s Jill up to with her mile-high pink running shorts? What conversation could the three treadmill slayers in the window, be having? Why isn’t ridiculous Tony “Gazelle” Little not driving this Camaro? After all, he does look more like your typical Camaro owner.

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17 responses to “Classic Captions Contest – 1998 Chevrolet Camaro Edition”

  1. neight428 Avatar

    I don’t know how to say this without being kind of gross Lisa, but you were working out pretty hard in there, and while I don’t mind if my car looks like a catfish, well…

    1. robbydegraff Avatar

      Lmaooooooo hahahahahaha

  2. GTXcellent Avatar

    Ah, 1998 – I think this is the special 10 year anniversary commemorative edition of the great U2 album – RATTLE and Hum. The package included Rattle and Hum on MiniDisc, snazzy gym bag, and matching dash and door panel removal tools

  3. Alcology Avatar

    Is that a trailer for Se7en or a car ad?

  4. hwyengr Avatar

    Mary was sick of Rick’s stereotypically awful parking and delivered the breakup blow on that long walk out of the gym. “It’s not me. It’s you.”

  5. Citric Avatar

    “Is this my towel? I don’t think it’s my towel. Did I grab the wrong towel?”

    1. Maymar Avatar

      I feel like there’s limited overlap between people who drive Camaros and people who read enough Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy to know you never go anywhere without your towel.

      1. dead_elvis, inc. Avatar
        dead_elvis, inc.

        I feel like there’s limited overlap between people who drive Camaros and people who read.

  6. Batshitbox Avatar

    The 1998 Z28 Convertible: The shape of things to come

  7. jotahesse Avatar

    Honey, when are we going to discuss switching to something more age appropriate, like an Accord. You are no longer 22 and going to college in Atlantic City.

  8. Alff Avatar

    The new Z28 will leave the gang at the gym green with pity.

  9. onrails Avatar

    Bob walked out of the gym with his date Denise, a little concerned that his ride would would be seen as tired, flaccid, and trying too hard to recapture lost youth. But at least he knew the Camaro would be reliable.

  10. P161911 Avatar

    “Damnit! I left the top down AND the keys in it and the damn thing is still here!” Craig regretted more everyday getting the new Camaro instead of the used Corvette, but the new LS-1 V-8 was just too tempting.

    1. P161911 Avatar

      On a personal note, I owned a 1996 Z-28 convertible with the exact same color scheme and chrome wheels. It is about the only car that I have ever had that I DON’T regret getting rid of. After 6 months of marriage my beloved 1994 Corvette 6-speed got traded in on a new 2004 Trailblazer as a bribe to get my new wife to go back to work. I was not going to go from a Corvette to her Honda Civic. So I sold the Civic and bought the Z-28. It was amazing the difference in build quality between the Vette and the Camaro. The Camaro shook and rattled in every possible way. When I had originally bought the Vette in 1998 with 9,500 miles on it, it was between that or a new Z-28 1LE Camaro. REALLY glad I choose the Vette.

      1. neight428 Avatar

        I had a ’94 Z28 coupe and every switch, knob or button seemed to have a quarter inch of give as the plastic mounting flexed before it would actuate anything. Then eventually, the slop would catch up and they would quit working altogether or disappear into the door or dash. It was how GM rolled for years. Shitty, shitty interiors.

        1. P161911 Avatar

          They have gotten much better in the last few years. Our 2004 Trailblazer wasn’t too bad. My 2011 Silverado WT is so-so. Our 2015 Volt is pretty nice. And in the last month I have had 2 new Impala rental cars and they were quite nice. I think that they have finally given up on trying to do the “soft touch” rubberized coating over hard plastic. That crap would start peeling off within a year.