Call them what they are – Ford and Chrysler edition


Car manufacturers have recently gone alphanumeric nomenclature crazy. The two biggest offenders are BMW and Lincoln; BMW used to offer only three different models, but now they have eight in amazing 78 variations with weird S and X suffixes. Lincoln has all kinds of problems,of which its naming convention is almost the least of. Other offenders include Acura, Audi, Lexus, Infitini,… and many more. No, wait, Infiniti realized its mistake and is making things even more confusing for the time being.

But there are manufacturers that have stuck to using proper names for their cars, Ford and Chrysler being two of them. However, those two have a surplus of historic model names and yet they still choose to invent new ones. Whatever their case maybe, a young man by the name of Shant Jaltorossian decided to apply some of those historic model names to Ford’s and Chrysler’s current lineups with some really cool results. See the above improved retro Ford lineup and click the jump to see the Dodges.

Thanks Shant!


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65 responses to “Call them what they are – Ford and Chrysler edition”

  1. Sam Avatar

    Fucking Ramcharger.

    1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      Is that a good thing or bad thing?

      1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        It's very good thing, when I get old and lose my memory, I'll be always able to find this place with a google search!

    2. rwb Avatar

      Fuckin' Ramcharger indeed. To this day one of the best names for any automobile.

  2. Number_Six Avatar

    How is the Fiesta a made-up name? It's a European Ford that debuted in 1976 and has been produced non-stop since then.
    Focus=Escort or Orion
    Fairmont=Granada or Sierra
    I doubt a single person would buy a car named Pinto, Fairmont or any kind of Squire today.

    1. scroggzilla Avatar

      Can't we call the Fairmont a Cortina instead? It'd make Engineerd happy.

      1. Number_Six Avatar

        That crossed my mind for sure, especially since my parents owned examples of MkI, MkII, MkIII Cortinas.
        On a side note, cranky folks for a Friday -> love my -1 !

        1. Deartháir Avatar

          Came in here just to give you back a +1.
          ::fades back into darkness::

      2. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        Would we get the European Granada too then!? Ehh, okay leave it a Torino, but make it the coupe along the way.

    2. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      Oh, I know about the older Fiestas.
      I'm just doing this in mindset where North America is in a vacuum.
      Yes, the original Fiesta was sold here. No, I do not care. 😀

    3. ThirdPedalGirl Avatar

      Pinto might have some problems selling just because of the whole, you know, fire thing that's emblazoned (hardy har har) in the nation's psyche.
      But Fairmont would have no trouble selling, and neither would Squire. People remember these names. They evoke a simpler, easier time in our country's not-so-distant past, and they'd work for that reason.

      1. From_a_Buick_6 Avatar

        Disagree. Outside of Ford loyalists and gear heads who love the Fox underpinnings, everyone who remembers it thought the Fairmont was thoroughly mediocre, bland and cheap. Sure, that describes a lot of cars of that era, but why relive it? To non-car people "Fairmont" is just a dorky, unappealing name for a car; Even in 1978 it was an outdated name.
        Falcon or even Maverick is a better choice.

        1. RahRahRecords Avatar

          seconded on the falcon

    4. JayP2112 Avatar

      Pinto, Vega, Aztek are all names ruined.
      But if Chrysler managed a 3 door hatchback Dart, I'd want it to be a Gremlin.

    5. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      No, but I'd buy just about anything named Galaxie.
      I remember a TV spot for local (Buffalo, NY) Ford dealers in the early '70s that featured the French Connection skating around three Fords on a hockey rink. Most of the narration was done with an announcer's voiceover. It was soon evident why this was. At one point, each each player did a hockey stop next to a car and just said its name. Gil Perreault said "Galaxie 500" with such a thick Québécois accent that it was nearly unintelligible. It came out "gu-LEX-y fife un-DREAD"
      …which is exactly how it has sounded in my head since, anytime I read "Galaxie 500."

      1. bhtooefr Avatar

        Would you buy it if it were spelled Galaxy, and were a minivan?
        Because they do sell that in Europe. Originally was a joint venture with VW (with a crapton of Ford throughout, although weird things here and there like VW switchgear in places, and some VW powertrains, but the chassis doesn't look very VW from the diagrams I've looked at), now is its own thing.

  3. ThirdPedalGirl Avatar

    Fusion is such a stupid name. Mondeo is only slightly better.
    Torino is PERFECT.

    1. Number_Six Avatar

      I'd like to see an ambulance Ford Transit called the Transfusion.

      1. ThirdPedalGirl Avatar

        THAT would be pretty awesome.

    2. TrueBlue315 Avatar

      I always lusted for a '70 SCJ Torino, complete with the laser stripe. Long, low, and mean.

  4. jakebonz Avatar

    In the spirit of Shant, I made one for Toyota's Lineup:
    <img src="; />

  5. muthalovin Avatar

    Now do Lincoln.

    1. XRSevin Avatar

      Lincoln Lincoln BoBinkin…

    2. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      And… done. It can be found at my G+ profile linked above.

      1. muthalovin Avatar

        Yeah dude, Shawn Elkins here. Good job!

  6. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    The Fiesta should definitely be called Fiesta. No doubt in my mind. Same with the Challenger – it's a Challenger!
    Now, I adore the 'Country Squire', 'Courier', and 'Ramcharger'. Those are perfect.

    1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      The elephantine size of the Challenger makes it a Charger in my mind. That, and I feel the need to rip the "Charger" badging off of the sedans being pumped out by ChryCo.

      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

        Actually, you're right. If the Challenger was a tiny bit smaller, Mustang-scale, then sure. Charger it is. Call the big one whatever, 'Monaco' would work, and DeSoto had a few good ones – maybe Adventurer and Adventurer Firedome for the Pentastar and Hemi models respectively.

        1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
          Shant Jaltorossian

          One other thing: the Coronet and the Charger were the same mechanically, but naming the Charger "Coronet" wouldn't make much sense, as the Coronet was a mid-size car, like the Avenger.

          1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

            True. I like your Challenger-becoming-Charger idea, though, because it's a largish, attractive, impractical two-door coupe. I do like the 'Coronet' name for the Avenger, but 'Avenger' is a nice name, too – think of the Hillman they imported in the early '70s.

          2. Kris_01 Avatar

            Thing that gets me here is that "Caravan" as an applied nameplate is going on 30 consecutive model years. That's longer than "Sportsman" even if it conjures up visions of seventies-vintage 15 passenger church vans.
            Makes more sense to just leave Caravan as it is.

      2. OA5599 Avatar

        B-body Chargers had rear legroom appropriate for a taxicab. E-body Challengers had rear legroom bigger than 2+2 cars, but not all that comfortable for adults on longer trips. The modern Challenger may be bigger than the old one, but I would bet rear legroom is even less than on the original.

      3. ptschett Avatar

        I have to disagree with the Challenger/Charger rename… the original Challenger E-body was a shortened B-body, where the new Challenger's LC platform is a shortened LX. Changing the names distorts the original relationship between the cars.

      4. Devin Avatar

        Chargers need electric shaver front ends, however.

  7. Devin Avatar

    Ford actually lost the rights to Futura to a tire company, didn't they?

    1. krazykarguy Avatar

      Not sure about that, but I saw a newer XTerra the other day with ALASKA plates (in Vermont) that read "FUTURA".
      I had a confused.

    2. JayP2112 Avatar

      To Pep Boys.
      Ford sold off all kinds of names… Even GT40 was one I believe.

      1. Devin Avatar

        I understood more that they got really lazy keeping their copyrights protected, since they were trying to use those names a couple times and weren't able to.

        1. JayP2112 Avatar

          That may well be the case. I'd have to research it but it is Friday and I'm saving my google-fu for the Mystery Car.

  8. LTDScott Avatar

    Not sure how a Focus becomes a Fairmont, and then a C-Max is Fairmont Futura. Depending on the year, Futura denoted either a fastback coupe body style, or later just an upscale, better equipped Fairmont. The Futura was never a wagon.
    </Fox body pedant>

    1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      Oh, I'm aware. "Futura" just sounds futuristic to me, and hybrids are "futuristic."
      No harm meant. 🙂
      Oh, and I chose Fairmont over Maverick simply because there wasn't a factory Maverick wagon.

      1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        mr. mzs zsm msz esq
  9. Jay_Ramey Avatar

    Can we do one for BMWs, where the model numbers have, uhh, some relation to engine displacement? Pretty please?

    1. bhtooefr Avatar

      For what's sold in the US, and using the 1980s-1990s t designation to designate turbocharged, but using s in the 1980s gas engine sense instead of the 1990s diesel engine sense (sport, instead of intercooled, because everything turbocharged is intercooled now – basically, I'm using it to denote a higher output version). Add an x as the first letter for AWD.
      Not sure how to handle the X M cars, but otherwise, leave the Ms alone.
      And, really, that looks ugly, but it gets the point across.

  10. quattrovalvole Avatar

    I wish Mazda uses their JDM nomenclatures globally instead of the numbers…
    2 -> Demio
    3 -> Axela
    5 -> Premacy
    6 -> Atenza

    1. Jay_Ramey Avatar

      Now that you mention them, I can sort of see why they don't use them globally.
      "Ask your doctor if Atenza is right for you!"

      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

        I do sort of like 'Axela', though. And is 'Atenza' any worse than, say, 'Camry'?

      2. Vairship Avatar

        Along the same lines: I had Venza once, but the antibiotics cleared that right up.

    2. ThirdPedalGirl Avatar

      Isn't Premacy a drug that prevents premature ejaculation?

      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

        That's citalopram. Trust me.
        I didn't have that problem, but… never mind, just trust me, okay?

        1. ThirdPedalGirl Avatar

          I understand.
          You have this knowledge on a friend's behalf.

        2. TurboBrick Avatar

          I thought that was the Mazda JDM minivan?

        3. Vairship Avatar

          I'm pretty sure any kind of pram will cure that problem

          1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

            I see what you did there, but I was referring to near-anorgasmia, not erectile dysfunction. 😛

    3. Maymar Avatar

      I see plenty of 3's wearing Axela badges, almost as many as those with rusty arches.
      Then again, I also once saw a early 2000s Toyota Echo hatch wearing Vitz badges – I'm mystified by the sort of person that cares enough to use the foreign badging on their car, but doesn't care enough to not drive a small Toyota.

      1. Devin Avatar

        A friend and I had a weird running joke involving Vitzes and Gran Turismo, and he otherwise didn't care that much about what he drove. But he's never actually owned one.

      2. Kris_01 Avatar

        I drive an Echo sedan – I'm very tempted to slap Lexus badges in place of the Toyota ones and call it by its JDM name – Platz.
        The Vitz is the hatchback Echo/Yaris. The USA never got the Vitz (Echo) hatchback, but we in Canada did.

        1. Maymar Avatar

          Touche – you are definitely a rare breed though. Of course, if I'm honest, I drive a Hyundai Accent, and wouldn't mind throwing Dodge Attitude badges on it.

  11. Stu_Rock Avatar

    F-600 cracks me up. How true.

  12. LBJs_Love_Child Avatar

    Falcon = Focus

  13. Sky_Render Avatar

    I think "Pinto" and "Galaxie" are better names, honestly.

    1. Kris_01 Avatar

      Haha, yes! But no Wildcat?

      1. Tomsk Avatar

        I'd save it for the rumored Alpha platform model.


    I'd say the Focus is more like the Falcon and the Fusion is more like a Fairlane. Those names actually might be better than what they have now. I'd save the Torino name for something a bit sportier than the Fusion. I'm thinking a new 3-series/E39 5-series sized RWD sedan on the underpinnings of the upcoming redesigned Mustang would be perfect. Hint hint Ford.