By Kamil Kaluski
Car manufacturers have recently gone alphanumeric nomenclature crazy. The two biggest offenders are BMW and Lincoln; BMW used to offer only three different models, but now they have eight in amazing 78 variations with weird S and X suffixes. Lincoln has all kinds of problems,of which its naming convention is almost the least of. Other offenders include Acura, Audi, Lexus, Infitini,… and many more. No, wait, Infiniti realized its mistake and is making things even more confusing for the time being.
But there are manufacturers that have stuck to using proper names for their cars, Ford and Chrysler being two of them. However, those two have a surplus of historic model names and yet they still choose to invent new ones. Whatever their case maybe, a young man by the name of Shant Jaltorossian decided to apply some of those historic model names to Ford’s and Chrysler’s current lineups with some really cool results. See the above improved retro Ford lineup and click the jump to see the Dodges.
Thanks Shant!
Ross Ballot
Fucking Ramcharger.
Is that a good thing or bad thing?
It's very good thing, when I get old and lose my memory, I'll be always able to find this place with a google search! http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Fucking+Ramchar…
Fuckin' Ramcharger indeed. To this day one of the best names for any automobile.
How is the Fiesta a made-up name? It's a European Ford that debuted in 1976 and has been produced non-stop since then.
Focus=Escort or Orion
Fairmont=Granada or Sierra
I doubt a single person would buy a car named Pinto, Fairmont or any kind of Squire today.
Can't we call the Fairmont a Cortina instead? It'd make Engineerd happy.
That crossed my mind for sure, especially since my parents owned examples of MkI, MkII, MkIII Cortinas.
On a side note, cranky folks for a Friday -> love my -1 !
Came in here just to give you back a +1.
::fades back into darkness::
Would we get the European Granada too then!? Ehh, okay leave it a Torino, but make it the coupe along the way.
Oh, I know about the older Fiestas.
I'm just doing this in mindset where North America is in a vacuum.
Yes, the original Fiesta was sold here. No, I do not care. 😀
Pinto might have some problems selling just because of the whole, you know, fire thing that's emblazoned (hardy har har) in the nation's psyche.
But Fairmont would have no trouble selling, and neither would Squire. People remember these names. They evoke a simpler, easier time in our country's not-so-distant past, and they'd work for that reason.
Disagree. Outside of Ford loyalists and gear heads who love the Fox underpinnings, everyone who remembers it thought the Fairmont was thoroughly mediocre, bland and cheap. Sure, that describes a lot of cars of that era, but why relive it? To non-car people "Fairmont" is just a dorky, unappealing name for a car; Even in 1978 it was an outdated name.
Falcon or even Maverick is a better choice.
seconded on the falcon
Pinto, Vega, Aztek are all names ruined.
But if Chrysler managed a 3 door hatchback Dart, I'd want it to be a Gremlin.
No, but I'd buy just about anything named Galaxie.
I remember a TV spot for local (Buffalo, NY) Ford dealers in the early '70s that featured the French Connection skating around three Fords on a hockey rink. Most of the narration was done with an announcer's voiceover. It was soon evident why this was. At one point, each each player did a hockey stop next to a car and just said its name. Gil Perreault said "Galaxie 500" with such a thick Québécois accent that it was nearly unintelligible. It came out "gu-LEX-y fife un-DREAD"
…which is exactly how it has sounded in my head since, anytime I read "Galaxie 500."
Would you buy it if it were spelled Galaxy, and were a minivan?
Because they do sell that in Europe. Originally was a joint venture with VW (with a crapton of Ford throughout, although weird things here and there like VW switchgear in places, and some VW powertrains, but the chassis doesn't look very VW from the diagrams I've looked at), now is its own thing.
Fusion is such a stupid name. Mondeo is only slightly better.
Torino is PERFECT.
I'd like to see an ambulance Ford Transit called the Transfusion.
THAT would be pretty awesome.
I always lusted for a '70 SCJ Torino, complete with the laser stripe. Long, low, and mean.
In the spirit of Shant, I made one for Toyota's Lineup:
<img src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-W7RmmAujFB8/UUxeQQ8grlI/AAAAAAAARxU/fmXCna1CgOU/s562/Untitled-2.jpg" />
Now do Lincoln.
Lincoln Lincoln BoBinkin…
And… done. It can be found at my G+ profile linked above.
Yeah dude, Shawn Elkins here. Good job!
The Fiesta should definitely be called Fiesta. No doubt in my mind. Same with the Challenger – it's a Challenger!
Now, I adore the 'Country Squire', 'Courier', and 'Ramcharger'. Those are perfect.
The elephantine size of the Challenger makes it a Charger in my mind. That, and I feel the need to rip the "Charger" badging off of the sedans being pumped out by ChryCo.
Actually, you're right. If the Challenger was a tiny bit smaller, Mustang-scale, then sure. Charger it is. Call the big one whatever, 'Monaco' would work, and DeSoto had a few good ones – maybe Adventurer and Adventurer Firedome for the Pentastar and Hemi models respectively.
One other thing: the Coronet and the Charger were the same mechanically, but naming the Charger "Coronet" wouldn't make much sense, as the Coronet was a mid-size car, like the Avenger.
True. I like your Challenger-becoming-Charger idea, though, because it's a largish, attractive, impractical two-door coupe. I do like the 'Coronet' name for the Avenger, but 'Avenger' is a nice name, too – think of the Hillman they imported in the early '70s.
Thing that gets me here is that "Caravan" as an applied nameplate is going on 30 consecutive model years. That's longer than "Sportsman" even if it conjures up visions of seventies-vintage 15 passenger church vans.
Makes more sense to just leave Caravan as it is.
B-body Chargers had rear legroom appropriate for a taxicab. E-body Challengers had rear legroom bigger than 2+2 cars, but not all that comfortable for adults on longer trips. The modern Challenger may be bigger than the old one, but I would bet rear legroom is even less than on the original.
I have to disagree with the Challenger/Charger rename… the original Challenger E-body was a shortened B-body, where the new Challenger's LC platform is a shortened LX. Changing the names distorts the original relationship between the cars.
Chargers need electric shaver front ends, however.
Ford actually lost the rights to Futura to a tire company, didn't they?
Not sure about that, but I saw a newer XTerra the other day with ALASKA plates (in Vermont) that read "FUTURA".
I had a confused.
To Pep Boys.
Ford sold off all kinds of names… Even GT40 was one I believe.
I understood more that they got really lazy keeping their copyrights protected, since they were trying to use those names a couple times and weren't able to.
That may well be the case. I'd have to research it but it is Friday and I'm saving my google-fu for the Mystery Car.
Not sure how a Focus becomes a Fairmont, and then a C-Max is Fairmont Futura. Depending on the year, Futura denoted either a fastback coupe body style, or later just an upscale, better equipped Fairmont. The Futura was never a wagon.
</Fox body pedant>
Oh, I'm aware. "Futura" just sounds futuristic to me, and hybrids are "futuristic."
No harm meant. 🙂
Oh, and I chose Fairmont over Maverick simply because there wasn't a factory Maverick wagon.
You'll love it: http://www.staceman.net/mav/brazil/index.htm
Can we do one for BMWs, where the model numbers have, uhh, some relation to engine displacement? Pretty please?
For what's sold in the US, and using the 1980s-1990s t designation to designate turbocharged, but using s in the 1980s gas engine sense instead of the 1990s diesel engine sense (sport, instead of intercooled, because everything turbocharged is intercooled now – basically, I'm using it to denote a higher output version). Add an x as the first letter for AWD.
130i
130ti
130tiS
320ti
320tiS
330i
330ti
330tih
520tiS
530ti
530tiSh
544ti
630tiS
644ti
730tiS
730tiSh
744ti
760i
X120tiS
X130ti
X320tiS
X330ti
X530ti
X530td
X544ti
X630ti
X644ti
Z420tiS
Z430ti
Z430tiS
Not sure how to handle the X M cars, but otherwise, leave the Ms alone.
And, really, that looks ugly, but it gets the point across.
I wish Mazda uses their JDM nomenclatures globally instead of the numbers…
2 -> Demio
3 -> Axela
5 -> Premacy
6 -> Atenza
Now that you mention them, I can sort of see why they don't use them globally.
"Ask your doctor if Atenza is right for you!"
I do sort of like 'Axela', though. And is 'Atenza' any worse than, say, 'Camry'?
Along the same lines: I had Venza once, but the antibiotics cleared that right up.
Isn't Premacy a drug that prevents premature ejaculation?
That's citalopram. Trust me.
I didn't have that problem, but… never mind, just trust me, okay?
I understand.
You have this knowledge on a friend's behalf.
I thought that was the Mazda JDM minivan?
I'm pretty sure any kind of pram will cure that problem
I see what you did there, but I was referring to near-anorgasmia, not erectile dysfunction. 😛
I see plenty of 3's wearing Axela badges, almost as many as those with rusty arches.
Then again, I also once saw a early 2000s Toyota Echo hatch wearing Vitz badges – I'm mystified by the sort of person that cares enough to use the foreign badging on their car, but doesn't care enough to not drive a small Toyota.
A friend and I had a weird running joke involving Vitzes and Gran Turismo, and he otherwise didn't care that much about what he drove. But he's never actually owned one.
I drive an Echo sedan – I'm very tempted to slap Lexus badges in place of the Toyota ones and call it by its JDM name – Platz.
The Vitz is the hatchback Echo/Yaris. The USA never got the Vitz (Echo) hatchback, but we in Canada did.
Touche – you are definitely a rare breed though. Of course, if I'm honest, I drive a Hyundai Accent, and wouldn't mind throwing Dodge Attitude badges on it.
F-600 cracks me up. How true.
Falcon = Focus
I think "Pinto" and "Galaxie" are better names, honestly.
There, I fixed it:
<img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8516/8580584489_608c2fbc84_z.jpg" />
Haha, yes! But no Wildcat?
I'd save it for the rumored Alpha platform model.
I'd say the Focus is more like the Falcon and the Fusion is more like a Fairlane. Those names actually might be better than what they have now. I'd save the Torino name for something a bit sportier than the Fusion. I'm thinking a new 3-series/E39 5-series sized RWD sedan on the underpinnings of the upcoming redesigned Mustang would be perfect. Hint hint Ford.