This olelongrooffan can’t really add anything to this. I’ve had this image around for quite some time so, needless to say, calling this poor guy is going to be fruitless.
By LongRoofian
No biography of the LongRoofian would be complete without [edited for length and adherence to subject matter] and your continued enjoyment of these ramblings is certainly welcome.
Antti Kautonen 
Bradley Brownell
Keep the bike. Ditch the broad. Trust me on this.
Any questions as to why I moved the hell away from Utah?
(Apologies to Mr. Schmo)
Ad Addendum: "Testicles kept in jar on wife's nightstand not part of sale"
I consider myself fortunate that my wife uses the same phrase, but knows what it means.
I feel really good about my wife then.