"A girl, wearing a bikini, riding a shark…"

…with, like, some sort of golden medieval warrior cuffs on her arms and legs…and really long hair, and big ol’ —”

“Now Bobby! When your father asked you what sort of mural he should paint on his Goldwing trike, I believe he had something more mature in mind. No grown man would ever — 
…Dear, what are you smiling about? …Wait, why are you GIVING BOBBY A ‘HIGH FIVE’? OH, YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!”

[Image Source: shoutingthomas.typepad.com]

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  1. Alff Avatar

    That is the perfect paint job for that particular bike.

    1. muthalovin Avatar

      Riding a Goldwing trike is exactly like riding a shark. A nurse shark!
      (That's a lame shark, right? I have no idea.)

      1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

        There are no lame sharks. I'd say a Goldwing trike's more like riding a grouper.

      2. JoeyM Avatar

        Yes, a nurse shark is lame, but trikes need a shark that is even more lame than that. I think she should have been riding on a shark that is EVEN MORE lame. I vote for a woebegong
        <img src=http://underwateraustralasia.com/content/7381/wobbegong.jpg>

        1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

          Those are northern inland lake-dwellers, right? I've heard a few tales about 'em on the news.

          1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

            Droll, Mr. Plushroom. Very droll.

          2. Richard Slap Avatar
            Richard Slap

            They're Protestant.

    2. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar

      Agree, he should try to take a submarine route.

  2. facelvega Avatar

    You neglected to mention that the bikini is made out of clam shells.

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      Bobby's dad actually added that detail after the fact.

    2. ZomBee Racer Avatar

      There's a bearded-clam joke in there somewhere…

  3. tonyola Avatar

    Points off for marine biology failure. The girl's legs should be bleeding by now. Shark skin is as rough as sandpaper. And we know what blood does to sharks.

    1. facelvega Avatar

      I imagine you'd also want to ride before the dorsal fin I think, lest the twisting tail shake you off.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi
        1. facelvega Avatar

          Ah, then she probably just switched grips when it jumped up out of the water.

    2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      She's a goddess. Goddesses don't bleed — or chafe, apparently.
      Or perhaps that's the the clamshells and the metal cuff thingies are for. You just have to be careful that those are the only parts that touch.

  4. muthalovin Avatar

    So much better than flames. So, so much better.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        Bad art is worse when it's badly arted.

        1. Patrick Avatar

          That's awsome! I'm going to steal it right now.

        2. IronBallsMcG Avatar

          This is the work of artist Andrew Zubko http://zubko.com who also brought us this magnificent piece of work:
          <img src="http://zubko.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/BatmanVsShark.jpg"&gt;

          1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
            Peter Tanshanomi

            He's obviously scored some of that drug called Charlie Sheen.

          2. tonyola Avatar

            This is the only thing I think of concerning Batman and sharks.
            <img src="http://www.66batman.com/yabbfiles/Attachments/shark-repellant-bat-spray-batman.jpg"&gt;

          3. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
            Peter Tanshanomi

            Q: Who do you think would win the fight and why?
            Asher: Uhhh, Batman! Because he has the light saber and he would cut off the sharks head. Then the shark would turn into a zombie and would kill Batman.

            I fear for that kid's future.

          4. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
            Peter Tanshanomi

            FLARE could take 'em both.
            <img src="http://crow202.org/wordpress/wp-content/images/comic-with-shark.jpg"&gt;

      2. Alff Avatar

        Why is Betty White riding John Ritter?

        1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

          When YOU'RE Betty White, you'll get to choose who you ride too.

        2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
          Peter Tanshanomi

          Wait a minute. You saw that, and THAT'S what puzzled you?

      3. muthalovin Avatar

        Too bad that isn't on the other side of the trike.

  5. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi


  6. mdharrell Avatar

    Let the record show that I do not ride a trike. I drive a reverse trike. Not the same. Different. Even though, in this case, they both have trailer hitches.

    1. facelvega Avatar

      Reverse trikes are great, and some trikes are also good. But anybody can do a trailer hitch, how about a snowplow?
      <img src="http://www2.eng.cam.ac.uk/~adn24/Pembleton_Supersports.jpg"&gt;
      Way manlier than a trailer hitch:
      <img src="http://www.imz-ural.com/community/pics/uralplow200612b.jpg"&gt;

      1. coupeZ600 Avatar

        So this artist/sculptor/welder friend builds this bicycle with a plow on it and titles it, "The D-9". I get called in to plow for the City one night, so I ride the D-9 the two blocks from our house to the City yard and park it right by the door where we all go in to get dispatched. All the other Drivers know it's mine, because I'm a nut-case and the only one who doesn't drive a huge lifted 4X4, but they all think it's pretty cool, if not stupid.
        We're supposed to confer with the Driver coming off-shift in our area about what has been done and where we need to go first, so I go to the Driver who plows my neighborhood and say, "I made a couple of passes on Leroux Street on my way here, but you might want to go and check it…''
        The "plow" on the bike is maybe a foot, a foot and a half wide and totally unusable, but the guy doesn't even crack a smile.

      2. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        mr. mzs zsm msz esq
  7. muthalovin Avatar

    So, I figure this bike is good for two weeks: Bike week and Shark week. Then it should probably be destroyed.

    1. dmilligan Avatar

      I recommend fire.

  8. dmilligan Avatar

    Nice reflexes. My eyes still burn.

  9. Jo Schmo Avatar
    Jo Schmo

    A girl, wearing a bikini, riding a shark with, like, some sort of golden medieval warrior cuffs on her arms and legs…and really long hair, and big ol’
    <img src="http://www.gifsoup.com/view/11009/austin-powers-tits-o.gif"&gt;
    "Hey! A and N, you're late!"
    /1 article, 2 austin powers references Yeah baby, Yeah!

  10. Black Steelies Avatar

    It's hard to make a goldwing trike look good, however "batshit awesome" is always on the table.
    Because. Why jump the shark, when you can ride it?

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      That needs to be worked into several posts this week.

      1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

        I count at least two phrases in that response that bear random repetitions.

        1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

          I concur. Mwah. Ha. Ha.

  11. P161911 Avatar

    "Jump the Shark"
    You're doing it wrong.

  12. Alex Kierstein Avatar
    Alex Kierstein

    Let me just say this … this comment thread is in the running for greatest ever.

  13. citroen67 Avatar

    A girl, wearing a bikini, riding a shark…
    <img src="http://jamiedubs.com/fuckflickr/data/robocop%20on%20a%20unicorn/web/robocop-unicorn-11.jpg"&gt;
    Robocop, riding a unicorn, heartily approves of this!

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      THIS is AWESOME. That is all.

    2. muthalovin Avatar

      RoboUnicorn, even. Hells yes.

  14. scroggzilla Avatar

    A belated Happy Easter to my friends in the Hooniverse.
    <img src="http://i597.photobucket.com/albums/tt55/brewsben8/Jesus/JesusRidingDinosaur-1.jpg"&gt;

    1. ZomBee Racer Avatar

      Ha-ha-ha! Oh dear god!!

      1. texlenin Avatar

        Oh that's just Paula. She rides everything…………….