By Kamil Kaluski
Hi, Kamil here, also known as a “miscreant driver” to the LeMons judges – almost first name basis now, sort of. Live-ish blog here from beautiful middle-of-nowhere New Jersey. We are doing great! Early morning’s fuel injector swap made the Buick as perfect as a fourteen year old Buick can be. We are (well, were) running around the 50th spot overall, teens in our class.
But the real reason why I am writing this… I am writing this as a penalty for passing under yellow. Passing under yellow is a horrible offense and can get people hurt, so please don’t do it. Unfortunately this isn’t our first trip to the penalty slammer, but the first two times we were told that we didn’t do anything amazingly horrible. This time, despite the very minor protesting from me, the Honorable Judge Martin told me to “write a blog post”, a penalty patented by our main man in charge, Tim. Of course the Honorable Judge Murilee Martin was right in saying that passed under yellow, which I of course did.
As it is commonly known, all automotive journalists are the worst drivers in the world. No exceptions, even the part-time bloggers suck. That is an indisputable fact. Obviously when in comes to racing, we do not belong here at all.
I promise that from now on I will watch for all flags and obey all signals, and not drive by my stereotype.
Jeff Glucker
Let the public humiliation begin!
Yes, Judge Murilee Martin is right. She's always right.
You know Murilee is a guy, right?
So that explains the husky voice and majestic mutton chops…
Well, I can easily imagine the husky voice, but I really don't see the mutton chops.
<img src="http://murileemartin.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/tormentinccover-600px.jpg" width="600">
Of course, this is an older photo.
Are you aware he somewhat backhandedly gives you credit for the Saucy Minx moniker?
Aye, and I told him that while I may have been present for the conversation in which it was birthed, and have called him such in the past (circa-2007/'08 [redacted]) I'm pretty sure it wasn't originally my creation. Personally, I'd blame Darth Air.
Then again, it's been several years.
I was the first to call her "the Saucy Minx". It 's a term I've used for years after seeing it in an old Superman comic. Seems appropriate for a genderless nom d'plume.
Seeing the real author/justice in person is a site to behold; the term heroic hirsuteness comes to mind.
I've known that for five years now. I wrote a song for him way back then.
♫ Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Murilee, Murilee, Murilee,
He's as sweet as he can be. ♫
Lies! All LIES!
She's beautiful.
Even when she's just Phil-ling in.
Indeed! 😀
It's strange, in person he looked baffled at being called Murilee. Up until my first time driving I didn't know his real name.
I get the impression that Phil-the-actual-person is slightly creeped out (justifiably) by the Murilee Martin-the-internet-personality fansquadron.
You are correct. But I'm stuck with that name, like Alice Cooper.
Be thankful they haven't taped you to the top of the car yet and made you drive around the paddock with a bull horn advising other drivers
On the upside, if that's necessary, there's a bench pre-installed.
"…the very minor protesting from me…."
There ain't no such thing. Any action or inaction that falls short of instantaneous (or, even better, anticipatory) capitulation is unacceptable. I'd say you're lucky The Most Honorable Judge Phil hasn't demanded that this be edited accordingly.
$500 pARK BENch MY aSS !!!!!11!!!!11
I think you got off easy considering he didn't make you type this post up with your driving gloves still on.
And then what happened?
how did you get that broom handle stuck in your head in the first photo?
I think it's coming out of his uniform behind the HANS device, no doubt to improve his posture while serving his penalty.