As was the case with the recently snowed-out race at Eagles Canyon Raceway, weather often plays a major role in 24 Hours of LeMons race weekends. Seldom has that been that case more regularly than at races at Gingerman Raceway in southwestern Michigan, especially at races in April. This year’s edition of “The Cure of Gingervitis” marks the sixth such annual race and when it hasn’t featured snow, the howling 20 miler-per-hour winds off nearby Lake Michigan have instead conspired to create what must be considered “trying” conditions.
Midwesterners are a hardy bunch, however, and will go out of their way to let you know how little the poor conditions bother them. “It’s fine,” they’ll say through chattering teeth. “I start riding my motorcycle by mid-February. This isn’t that bad.” When the weather is overlooked, the races at Gingerman are usually marked by friendly rivalry and a brutally taxing nine-plus-hour race session Saturday to accommodate for the track’s strict no-racing-before-noon policy (There’s a church across the road) on Sundays. Follow the jump for the rundown on the field and pay attention because this writer will be there in the flesh, acting as a member of the esteemed LeMons Supreme Court.


Because I will be attending the race and will be taking part in classing the cars—which is always usually done trackside the day before racing—I’ll refrain from suggesting which cars go into which classes ahead of time. Just keep in mind that the three classes’ former names pretty well sum how cars are classed: No Prayer of Finishing (called “Class C” now), No Prayer of Winning (“Class B”), and Prayer of Winning (“Class A”). Classing is, of course, subjective based on the whims of the LeMons Supreme Court.
Rather than break up the field by class, here’s the entire 65-car unofficial entry list (Or you can get it here if you don’t want to read 3,000 inane words) presented on a general spectrum of sketchiness—Let’s call it the Measure of Effluent Hooptiness (MEH)—from most effluent at the outset to most capable.
So the cars at the bottom of the list are probably most likely to win and the cars at the top are most likely to eject a wayward connecting rod for distance.
#666 Bad Decisions Racing (GM Dustbuster Van) – I’m not sure how LeMons has gone this lone without a GM U-Body van, but the drought shall end and I can’t think of a better team to be racing it. This is the very epitome of the oft-muttered phrase in LeMons “What could possibly go wrong?”
#404 Anonymous (Subaru XT) – This team have teased the LeMons community for a year by owning a Subaru XT but not putting it together because “Parts are made of unobtainium.” The LeMons Supreme Court will be highly disappointed if they show up again with the super-cheaty Honda Civic instead.

#822 Mity Metro (Geo Metro Convertible, above) – The only thing more effluent than a three-cylinder Geo Metro is one that came without a roof.
#919 Afunzalo Racing (Fiat X1/9) – This team appeared to have a Class C win in the bag last fall at Gingerman before the tiny Fiat engine puked oil all over the Penalty Box. “It’s just a leaky oil line,” the team said. It’s never a leaky oil ine.
#81 Team Sheen (Dodge Mirada) – Of the stunning Malaise Era barges that raced last fall, only the Mirada returns. Glory, glory, holy floor panels!
#222 Windy Shitty Racing (BMW 2002) – This automatic-equipped BMW isn’t fast but it runs like clockwork, shaming many bigger-blocked Roundel-bearing heaps.
#40 Dover Bros. Racin’ (MGB-GT) – Like most MGBs, this one sounds fast and that’s what really matters.
#92 Unified Partnership of Pentastar Racers (Plymouth Sundance Duster) – I’ve tried talking this team into better car options, starting by setting this hopeless turd on fire. Yet, they keep bringing it back to occupy jack stands and look mystified while everyone in the paddock gives them the “I’m not sure what you expected” look.
#337 The Ancient and Mystic Society of the No Daniels (Dodge Stratus) – This Canadian team is pulling their Stratus out of retirement. The team name must be an inside joke that I’m not in on, but naming your team on the basis of a narrowly aimed joke scores high marks with me.
#85 Apocalyptic Racing (Toyota Celica) – How do you fix a ratty Toyota Celica that is falling apart at the seams? Correct, you swap in the Ecotec engine from a Chevy Cavalier.
#43 Team Priority Fail (Volkswagen GTI) – This team has run under the same name since 2013, though I’m not sure if they realized at the time it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Never being troubled by things like “reliability” or “driving well,” the team have transplanted the VR6 engine from under its hood to behind the drivers to now drive the rear wheels. This should give it a sweet 30-70 weight distribution, which is like a Porsche 911 GT3RS’s weight distribution but even more extreme. Porsche-er, if you will.
#96 Arrested Adolescent Racing Program (Opel GT) – The old Breadwagon Opel GT returns, still running the Ford Lima engine under the bonnet mixed in with a myriad of Alfa Romeo bits on it.
#46 Turn and Burn (Chevy Cavalier) – I think this might be a new team, so I don’t know much about them. However, a Cavalier racing in Michigan likely has some latent Juggalo tendencies.

#45 Smokey Saturn and the Bandits (Saturn SL2, above) – This poor team suffers endlessly for their Saturn, but you can always count on them to bust out the least-convincing Smokey and the Bandit theme of all time.
#124 Product Design A (Saturn SL2) – Despite the hooptie appearance of their plaster-cast-and-wall-register intake, this Saturn comes to race. They’ve only been a couple of setbacks short of a Class B win thus far.
#58 Statistically Indeterminate (Chevy S10) – Pickup trucks are tremendous endurance racers since they’re built to take abuse. Always expect them to do decently.
#314 Hard 8 Racing (Ford Contour SVT) – These guys sold their spacious G-Body Chevy Monte Carlo for a front-wheel-drive Contour SVT. They learned the hard way that these are real knuckle-busters if anything goes wrong.
#88 Avery Brothers Racing (Honda Civic) – This chopped-up 2006 Civic looks like a neofuturist econobox built by 12th Century Mongolians who have only heard far-fetched tales of motor vehicles. Nevertheless, it’s usually fairly competitive.
#99 This is Going to Be Awkward (Honda Prelude) – Again, I have no idea what this team name refers to, but awkward and LeMons are like CraigsList and “Ran When Parked.”
#31 Rod Throwin’ Fools (Toyota Mr2) – Their 4AGE didn’t toss a rod last year, but it did nuke a head gasket and the team fixed it in the hooptiest manner possible, which of course failed spectacularly.

#42 C&H Racing (Volvo 740, above) – How do you built side skirts to maximize aerodynamic performance on your bricklike wagon? Just attach some hard plastic sheeting and drive it around until the plastic wears away.
#0 The Firenerds (Pontiac Firebird) – Who cares about the Firebird? This car’s owner also brought this owns this amazing Holden EH Special.
#924 Double B Racing (Chevy Camaro) – Yeah, they have the least-convincing Blues Brothers theme in history (I think), but this team are also remarkably friendly. And they can even spell “Camaro” with an “a,” although the CraigsList Style Guide is out on whether or not that’s the proper spelling.
#38 Team Sucker Punch (Chevy Camaro) – This automatic Camaro has been around LeMons since I first showed up at Gingerman to watch a race in 2010. Like the Double B guys, they’re also friendly to an alarming degree, which is of course very unbecoming for Camaro owners.
#847 Team Orca (Chevy Caprice) – As the name suggests, this is a killer-whale Caprice. The tail sits on a coil spring and waves when the car goes over bumps. Tremendous.
#707 To Punish and Enslave (Ford Crown Victoria) – Like trucks, Crown Vics are completely overbuilt and stand up to the rigors of endurance racing extremely well. Most are only limited by fuel consumption and driver (in)ability.
#16 Burnt Rubber Soul Racing (Ford Probe) – The V6 Probe, which for some reason resembles Dan Gurney’s Trans Am Mercury Cougar XR7, reappears rebuilt after contact in the night hours of the race at Autobahn Country Club last summer.
#117 Legitimate Racing (Honda Accord) – Nevermind their capable Accord; this team will always earn my respect for their incredible mouse funeral last fall at Gingerman.

#63 One Lap for Dogs (Volkswagen Golf, above) – The best thing about this car? It’s not a golf-themed Golf.
#421 Fireball Racing (Ford Escort) – The author’s old racecar. The current owner has probably by now undone and redone most of the work done by the author, thereby giving the car half a chance to win something besides Heroic Fix at last.
#61 Emily’s Power for the Cure (Mazda RX-7) – This poor car ran something like 20 laps all of last year, but it ran respectably earlier this year at Barber Motorsports Park and maybe isn’t completely terrible.
#413 Wreckto Gizmo (Merkur XR4Ti) – Merkurs have usually proven terrible in LeMons. This team learned that the hard way and have since replaced the turbocharged Pinto engine with a 5.0-liter Ford V8. Opinions vary on whether that’s an actual improvement.
#199 Red Bull (Mazda RX-7) – This car showed up last fall with another FC-generation RX-7 from the same team. One of them had a stock 13B and the other had a supercharged GM 3.8-liter V6 shoved under the hood. I can’t remember which had the V6, but I hope it’s this one.
#90 B&D Racing (Porsche 924) – The only Porsche is packed from wheel well to wheel well with cheat.
#777 Seriouz (Toyota MR2) – The “z” stands for Zero Us I (That’s an anagram).
#420 The Wonderment Consortium (Volkswagen Quantum Synchro Wagon) – Once upon a time, this car was powered by a naturally aspirated five-cylinder engine and it dominated. Its new(er) owners have since doubled its power with an Audi S4 engine and it has less-than-dominated.
#5 No Running With Scissors (Ford Mustang) – I think this might be the team who put scissor doors on a Fox Body Mustang. As you do.
#33 Tike Time Racing (Ford Mustang) – Pulleys ‘n’ Flows.
#84 Snot Rocket Racing (Dodge Neon) – Another new team and they’ll run one of the last-generation of Dodge Neons, which are more or less unproven in LeMons.
#313 The Warriors (Dodge Neon) – Neons are reasonably good LeMons cars, though. This one is mostly memorable for neving even getting to the track in its debut last fall. You can (probably) only get better from here.
#989 DUM, Inc. (Ford Taurus SHO) – This team unceremoniously blew up in their first race about 10 minutes after the green flag, but they’ll be back for more.
#13 Hell Kitty Racing (Honda Prelude) – Car and Driver‘s resident unofficial race team return to action to the dismay of anyone who’s raced with them in the past. If they can keep their collective noses clean, they might be able to finish around the Top 10 as Grassroots Motorsports Magazine did at Barber in February.
#9 Rough Knuckle Racing (Mazda Miata) – In this field, there’s only one Miata, which is in itself odd for the Midwest. This is the team’s first race and they’ll be getting some help from one of the drivers of the Charnal House Geo MetSHO. I’m not sure if that’s really helping or “helping.”
#193 Lucky Monkey Racing (Acura Integra) – These guys have been around LeMons since the early days of the series. They’re not super competitive, but they always seem to enjoy themselves. This, in the world of crapcan racing, is called “getting it.”
#77 Tokyo Thrift (Mazda RX-7) – It’s an RX-7, which in LeMons usually means ear-piercing exhaust note and a propensity for self-immolation.

#47 Bad Lucky Touch (Mazda RX-7, above) – This RX-7, however, stands half a chance. And this is the point of the preview where I’ve more or less (A) run out of things to write and (B) can shrug and say any of these cars has an outside chance at winning the race.
#4 Circle of Jerks B (BMW E30) – Yeah, it’s an E30 and these newbies will almost certainly in BS Inspections protest that their “eta” motor is totally not cheating, despite the massive community of E30 enthusiasts with a laundry list of how to make power using the E30’s “efficiency” mill.
#55 Wiley’s Coyotes (BMW E30) – This team has decided to skip the whole “eta” argument by throwing an M50 engine in from an E36. It sounds beastly and goes pretty well, but the team are generally hopeless.
#113 Wisconsin Crap Racers (BMW E36) – Do you think of nice people when you think of Wisconsin? If you do, then you probably think of this team, a family outfit with a very tired Bimmer and great attitudes about their relative (in)ability.
#28 Team NonSequitur (Acura Integra) – Speaking of tired old cars, this Integra has raced LeMons since 2007 and bears the scars of the series’ early bumper-car days.
#18 Point-O-Eight (Ford Escort GT) – This team has come a long way since an auspicious debut three years ago to take a Class B win last summer at Autobahn.
#111 Escort Service (Ford Escort) – If you’re going to run a rental-grade Ford Escort in LeMons, you apparently should toss in the 130-horsepower engine from a Ford ZX2. This is actually a nicely set-up road racer whose drivers could steal a race win soon.
#688 Peep-SHO CMR and #889 SHO-Girls CMR (Ford Taurus SHOs) – This two-car team of SHOs are no strangers to leading races. Eventually, the cars seem to remember their inherent SHO-ness and exhibit a failure or six, but who knows what might happen this time around?
#448 Blueberry Fields Forever (Subaru Impreza) – This Legacy-engined Impreza has always been competitive and, like the above-mentioned SHOs, has just been held back by a niggling failure or two.
#89 Dai Mondai I (Toyota Celica) – Yeah, it’s a Celica with a modern Avalon front bumper on it. It doesn’t actually look terrible; these guys all work for Toyota in some capacity designing auxiliary systems or doing market research on how they can make the Camry look even blander. Something like that, anyway.
#185 Dai Mondai II (Toyota MR2) – To date, this is the only MR2 to win a LeMons race. In looking at typical MR2 performance (and this team’s finishing record since), this certainly seems a total fluke.
#44 Landshark (Honda Civic) – The Landshark team appear to have retired the Integra that took them so incredibly close to an overall win at Road America. In its place is an EK Civic, which will probably be just as competitive as their Integra was.
#181 Team Sheen B (Acura Integra) – Yes, the Mirada racers also own an Integra, which is usually in the thick of things. I’d expect it to lead the race at some point, although last fall itonly just beat the team’s nautical Mirada.
#112 The Blue Shells B (Toyota MR2) – See below.
#12 The Blue Shells (Dodge Neon) – The Blue Shells are long overdue for a win, having dialed in Class B with their Accord (now sold to Legitimate Racing). The Neon is a solid platform and the team had the stones to run toe-to-toe with the much faster Ta-Tas’ Camaro in 2013.

#86 Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (Volvo 245, above) – The naturally aspirated Volvo is a tough brute and an easy one to drive quickly. If it runs all weekend, its fuel efficiency could be the kind of thing that wins the race.
#53 LemonAid Racing (Geo Metro) – This BMW six-cylinder-swapped Geo Metro is a complete beast. If it can win the race overall, it will be the only car to have won Index of Effluency (with its stock three-cylinder engine) and both classes.
#750 Flying Pigs Racing (Ford Mustang) – Nobody in the Midwest has been as consistent as the Flying Pigs over the last four or five races. If they hadn’t suffered a brake failure last spring at Gingerman, they may very well have kept Speedycop from getting his first overall win.
#36 Save the Ta-Tas Racing (Chevy Camaro) – This is the only car in the field with multiple wins (two of them) and should be the favorite if its clutch and brakes stay functional all weekend.

A few notes on racing “strategy” for those inclined to care

The skirmish for the race win seldom fails to be entertaining in the Midwest, as shown with the closest race in LeMons history at Road America 18 months ago. If one considers the strategy of a race like this, the ability to run about 2-1/2 hours per (mistake-free) stint would create a big advantage for any team. Why? Over Saturday’s 9-1/2 hour race, that divides nicely into four stints with some wiggle room to turn a fortuitously timed black flag into a driver change. Since Sunday’s session runs around five hours, two 2-1/2-hour stints splits the day nicely in half.
Of course, that’s all predicated on driving cleanly for 14-1/2 hours and surviving Saturday’s racing without brake or tire failure, both of which were major factors in the Gingerman race a year ago, when several teams corded tires and when the Flying Pigs Mustang cracked a rotor after nine hours of hard racing to drop them out of the lead in the day’s failing light.
Anyway, the closing hours of Saturday’s session will be the most exciting.
You can follow live timing on the Specialty Timing website or on the RaceMonitor app for smartphones (and other such devices).
 

 
 [All photos copyright 2015 Hooniverse/Eric Rood]